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Thursday, January 22, 2015

That Reminds Me: Pick Up Chicken Wings for Dinner

Wait long enough, and there she is.  You see that?  Twelve o’clock, as my dad likes to say, right there in front of you.  It’s 28 degrees outside – four degrees cooler than required to, say, generate your own, artisanal ice – and she’s got short sleeves.

At this time of year, you know, you don’t see many short sleeves on the bus. 

And that’s because they are under layers upon layers of rich, satisfying fabric.

Fabric!  Nature’s way of saying, You, over there!  I shall award your foresight in covering yourself with one more day of life.

She boards the bus, tight jeans, leather boots, a short-sleeved tee and a fashionably slouch-y wool cap.  Practically embryonic with youth, her pink face flush with color – perhaps fever related – she and a friend search for a seat while those of us of a more practical bent view her with hooded, content eyes.

We are warm, and she is not.

Take that, adorably shivering female.

Somewhere in my head, of course, in a corner I reserve for random, spiteful thoughts, I am hoping that the bus will break down and that, partially frozen and struggling toward an awaiting bus blocks and blocks away – perhaps to be warmed and presented with complimentary firefighters and squirming, squealing puppies – she will fall, her smooth-soled footwear failing her, to come up dripping with salt-laden slush.  Tearfully, she will proclaim, “I’ve been so foolish!  I will never, ever dress without regard to weather conditions again!”

You know.  Like I did. 

Every day, of course, I am proven wrong in one form or another, and today is yet another example of this winning streak.  Tiny, frozen female does not actually freeze, and there are no complimentary firefighters waiting at the end of the line offering to throw me over a thick, uniformed shoulder.


Perhaps I am riding the wrong bus?

16 comments:

Delores said...

When you find the one with complimentary firefighters give me a call.

Joanne Noragon said...

Sigh. The bane of being #2. Delores said it all, first and best.

Marty Damon said...

How heartwarming to find someone with the same spiteful thoughts I have.

Silliyak said...

I believe skin to skin contact is the fastest way to warm, so if you find one of those complimentary firefighters (my don't YOU look lovely when hypothermic!), don't be alarmed when they start stripping down. It's a sacrifice we (were, I'm retired)) willing to make, but I live in California, so what do I know...

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
This very afternoon I was exiting the shopping mall, taking time to re-don the full wool beanie and gloves and fasten the coat, re-swing the shawl and and muffle the ears. Right at the threshold no less, in walks the young couple.

In shorts and sandals.

.................................. YAM xx

joeh said...

Bus?

All aboard the loony train, and we all get to enjoy the ride.

bill lisleman said...

Once again I rediscover that blog reading is enjoyable and educational.
I didn't know that artisanal ice was now a hipster thing.
http://www.npr.org/blogs/thesalt/2014/10/21/357624984/can-hand-cut-artisanal-ice-make-your-cocktail-that-much-better

The bus doesn't stop at the fire station anymore? It's getting tougher to be saved these days.

Buttons said...

Well I just have to say wings well now I want some and the over the shoulder of a fine lookin' fireman well......:) Hug B

wellfedfred said...

Mmmm, complimentary firefighters.

You may keep the puppies.

jenny_o said...

There is never a wrong bus for you to ride; you will always find something good to write about! BTW, have you considered writing romance novels???

Elephant's Child said...

Mmm... Firefighters. You can hold the chicken wings though.

sage said...

When you are use to minus 28, 28 degrees can be quite balmy... but that was my life last year! Now, at 48, I see people with heavy coats and I shake my head.

River said...

Perhaps she was on her way to buy a lambswool coat, fur side in and matching boots. Just the thought of wearing something like that could warm a person long enough to get to the store.

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

All I have is that I don't like chicken wings

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Ah, to be young and fashionable and frostbitten...

Daisy said...

Life is so unfair. Where is the justice? :)