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Wednesday, January 14, 2015

I've Heard I Can Pass for Canadian

Can we just come clean here and talk about “Fargo”?

“Fargo” is a movie put out by Minnesota’s favorite son, Joel Coen.

Have you seen this movie? The accent in “Fargo” is meant to be representative of a Minnesotan accent but it is not, my friends, how Minnesotans sound.

I don't, anyway.

No, really.

Oh, ja, ya know, we got dem guys up dere on de Range, huntin’ dem tirty-point bucks, but dose guys, dey’re not troooly representative of de folk down here in de Cities.

Being a Minnesotan comes in handy, though, when traveling, particularly in the 90s, when I passed myself off as Canadian.

Look at ‘em. All friendly and cuddly up there, the little non-gun-toting, law-abiding Canucks. You could just eat them up they’re so cute.

Everybody loves the Canadians.

A number of years ago, I went with my son and my parents to Mexico for what in the U.S. is a long vacation: two weeks.

Two weeks! It’s like being retired.

If you ever get to Puerto Vallarta, which is where we went, one thing you’ll notice is that no one there is overweight; and if you do happen to see someone who is overweight, they’re either Americans or Germans.

I’m sorry, but that’s the way it is.

We were getting into a cab, the four of us, to go to dinner one night when another family of tourists got into the cab next to us.

Our driver called out to the other driver. The other nodded sorrowfully and our driver laughed.

Four years of high school French are of no help when you’re eavesdropping in Spanish; and being the nosy sort, I asked our driver what he said.

He blushed just a bit and then said, “I tell him, ha ha! You get the fat ones!”

By this time, the other taxi had pulled in front of us; and we all watched as the back end sagged perilously close to the tar…

You could tell by the way he looked into the mirror that it had suddenly occurred to him that perhaps we were Americans. We aren’t overweight, but we do have a suspiciously U.S. look to us…

My father, the king of nuance, noticed him notice us.

“No worries, eh,” my dad said. “We’re Canadian.”

26 comments:

vanilla said...

A minor fib in the interest of amity. Or the start of an international incident.

Eva Gallant said...

I never imagined you as a Canuck....that's a whole new vision!

Pearl said...

vanilla, that's exactly it!

Eva, I often, politely, imagine myself to be Canadian. ;-)

joeh said...

Funny post as usual.

Several members of Mrs. Cranky's family, (aunts and uncles) are Canadians. They visit often and I am always reminded when we see them that on the Italian Hello and Good Bye tour, the Canadians require a kiss on each cheek. Otherwise they are not too different...eh.

jenny_o said...

Oh now, you're just sweet, buttering us Canaajuns up like that. I hate to be the voice of disillusionment, but it's not all rainbows and unicorns up here. We got guns, we got disrespectful idiots, we got chubby people, we got politicians acting like toddlers. I myself fall into one of those categories. Maybe two.

Delores said...

We like to think we're these cuddly, lovable, respectful folks up here but...............

Buttons said...

"No worries...eh!" I have your back Pearl and Pearls Dad:) Hug B

Buttons said...

Oh I am laughing at your comments I think I am cuddly just sayin' LOL B

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
...Canadians are only misplaced Aussies after all... Nah, you really couldn't carry that one off...

Fargo as a good movie though... YAM xx

Catalyst/Taylor said...

I grew up only 50 miles from Canada. I like to think I'm just an accident of geography.

Watson said...

The grass always looks greener on the other side of the border, eh. Allow me to send you some of our jackasses.

I did enjoy Fargo btw. Thought the accent was local, kind of like the Bronx or Noo Joisey

Jono said...

Living close to the border I can pass for either side, but being from the Philadelphia area I truly thought Fargo was hilarious. All my Midwestern friends said, "Naw, we don't talk like dat."
If you say so.

Elephant's Child said...

Big, big smiles.
And I hadn't realised that jenny_o was a gun-toting politician. I just can't see her in either of the other categories.

Geo. said...

Pearl, I envy your ability to pass as Canadian. We considered immigrating north when I was about thirty (tirty) but found the language barrier insuperable.

jenny_o said...

EC: Hah! You're too nice :)

fishducky said...

Happy birthday, Pearlie!!

Sioux said...

In our writing group, we sometimes say of a jerky boyfriend or a bothersome husband, "I'm gonna Fargo him." We always hoot and holler when the remark comes up.

Joanne Noragon said...

And, the best vanity plate I ever saw: Cannuk, Eh. A NY plate. I puzzled over the nationality of the driver for, say, ten miles.

Daisy said...

Your dad is quick to the rescue. :) How handy to be able to pass for our neighbors to the north.

River said...

I've always wanted to visit Canada. Are you telling me I'll have to learn to listen differently because of the accent?

Delores said...

Canadians don't have accents.....it's the rest of you lol.

Eileen B said...

What did you say? I couldn't hear you because the wood chipper was making too much noise.

Douglas said...

Pearl, my sweet, Canadians are the scourge of Florida... each year they come down here to escape the worst of their winter (which I believe is actually 49 weeks of the year) to complain about everything they see and pay for. On the east coast of Florida, they are mostly from Quebec (or its province) but here and on the west coast mostly from Toronto and thereabouts. Oh, and those slim Mexicans you saw in Puerto Vallarta were probably thin because they were starving because Americans don't tip well.

Linda said...

I am, eh?
Hahaha!
Great post!
Cheers!
Linda :o)

Inspector Clouseau said...

At one point in my life, I found myself traveling from Los Angeles to Vancouver on every available long weekend. There is truly something special about Canada and Canadians. I wish that I could pass.

Deborah said...

My Wasband HATED that movie because of the way we were drawn. It made me laugh because sometimes we do sound like that? Say roof or broom. Ya, you betcha!

Oh you have me laughing!

I was in Mexico with my family years ago (Ixtapa) and one of the sweet women in the market area had to make me an ankle bracelet from a necklace because of my huge american ankles. Gordo I believe she said. I said, "Hey! I know that word!" We are big uns! :)