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Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Would You Believe I Have a Whole Section of the Blog Devoted to Pants?

It’s a flurry of excitement, here at Casa de Pearl, as I ready myself for another foray into black-pantsed-and-white-shirted encounters of the catering kind. My shirt has been starched into crisp yet bland submission; my practical shoes have been located; my favorite underwear, a trusted pair with a strict no-ride policy, have been set aside.

And my black pants are ready.

Funny thing about those black pants, though: they’re actually Mary’s. We’ve decided, in that quirky, kinda endearing but kinda weird way that women have, that I look better in her pants and she looks better in mine.

There’s a joke in there somewhere, but we’ll let it ride for a bit.

I don’t think men trade pants. Then again, I’m not sure.

I text T. “Have you ever traded pants with a friend?”

“Why,” he writes. “What have you heard?”

So that’s probably the answer right there.

Serving jobs are a fertile land of stress, hustle, and humor. It is a world of shouted jokes, often in Spanish; of carefully balanced plates and mysteriously crusted and rejected forks. There will be glasses to fill with ice and water, place settings to be set, napkins to be napped. I don’t want to get too detailed here – it’s all very technical – but suffice it to say that at the end of the night, I will be several inches shorter and several twenties richer.

Hey. Who has more fun than me?


joeh said...

So few words, so many good laughs...pure Pearl!

jenny_o said...

And we will expect a full report on how much fun you had, what kind, with whom, for whom, and whether those underwear can still be trusted - written, of course, whilst you are soaking your barking dogs.

You made me look to see if you really do have a label for pants-related posts. You do. That's impressive. But we have come to expect no less :)

Joanne Noragon said...

I understand men steal shirts from each other. The comfy ones. Lent in a time of need and never returned.

vanilla said...

I like the twenties richer part.

Anonymous said...

What's a few inches when twenties are involved.

Geo. said...

Men can't wear each others' pants, Pearl. I think it's against the law or something.

Suelene Gallogly said...

Your cats?

Catalyst/Taylor said...

They didn't call it The Brotherhood of the Traveling Pants, now did they?

Gigi said...

Ok...Catalyst/Taylor made me laugh out loud.

Although I would love to have a few more twenties, I don't I could afford the inches.

Joanna Jenkins said...

More twenties is always better!

I was a waitress for years and went through so many pairs of pants that if I had a friend who wore my size I'm pretty sure I'd have stolen them!

xo jj

Linda O'Connell said...

Nothing worse than creeping undies. Tugging, balancing, pouring...something is bound to happen.

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

Thanks for the laugh

River said...

Would I believe? Of course I would. You wouldn't lie to me. Would you?
Re the no ride-up underwear, why not buy only those so you never ever have to worry about ride up again?

Drake Sigar said...

Short answer - yes. Longer answer - hell yes.

Daisy said...

Twenties are good, but I don't think I'd like that job much. More power to you, Pearl.