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Monday, October 13, 2014

Mary Thinks I Should Go Lay Down

I had meant to write about the weekend, the serving job, Mary’s ridiculously large truck and her parking prowess.

But all I can think about is how sick I am.

Settling into my throat and chest roughly an hour after the serving job, its now found a home just behind my eyes, right there, where it colors both how I look and how I see things.

I’m crabby.

Want to talk?


Want to watch a movie?


Think I should get up, maybe brush my teeth or fix my hair?

No.  You.

I press the heels of my hands into my eyes, a fight-pressure-with-pressure move that results in an explosion of black and red checkerboard that not only doesn’t feel as good as hoped for but results in shooting pains.

The phone rings.   I close my eyes. 



It’s Mary.


She laughs.  “You sound funny.  You sick?”

“Yes.  No,” I say.  “I don’t know.  Shut up.”

She laughs again, the sound of elves stealing the good silver. 

“What’s wrong with you?”

“My head is imploding.  Or possibly exploding.  It hurts to talk.”  I sigh.    “You’ll just have to wait for the pictures.”

“Sounds messy, either way,” she says.

I nod.

“So here’s what you do,” she says.

“Mary.  I’m a grown woman.  I know what to do.”

“Shh.  Shh,” she soothes.  “Let me do my job.”

I go quiet.  Sometime it’s just best to give Mary the lead.

“First you get some tea.  Do you have tea?”

I nod.

“I’m gonna assume you just nodded,” she says.  “You have honey?  Local honey is best.  And lemon.  You got all that?”

I cough several times, resulting in my eyeballs shooting out of my head and falling onto the carpet.

“You okay?”

“I just coughed my eyeballs out.”

“Run ‘em under cold water,” she says.  “They’ll be fine.  You got Nyquil?  Cold tablets?  A hot water bottle?”

“Mm-hmm,” I say.

“OK.  So you take the Nyquil, take the cold tablets – oooh, take ‘em with orange juice if you have it – and then crawl under a heavy blanket – no, four heavy blankets – and sweat it out.”

“Can I take a bath first?”

“Of course,” she says.  “And then you go lay down.” 

I close my eyes, let Mary’s voice wash over me.

“Yep,” she says, “that’s what you do.  You go lay down.”

I smile, lay back on the couch.

“Shh.  Shh,” she says.  “Everything’s going to be okay.”


DeniseinVA said...

I'm going to follow Mary's advice myself. Feel better soon.

joeh said...

Sorry you're feeling crummy, but you've got me thinking...is there such a thing as the "bad silver?"

joeh said...

Sorry you're feeling crummy, but you've got me thinking...is there such a thing as the "bad silver?"

esbboston said...

Its probably not ebola, just dbola.

Anonymous said...

Everyone needs a friend like Mary.

Shelly said...

Mary is missing her calling in the medical profession. I do hope you get the eyeballs back in place and are feeling better. Because Liza Bean might be plottin' things while you're down...

Optimistic Existentialist said...

I hope you feel better soon Pearl!! :) I'm sending a bowl of soup.

Dawn@Lighten Up! said...

Mary thinks you should go lay down. But your mom thinks you just need to poop.

Joanne Noragon said...

Move over. Me too.

vanilla said...

Do hope everything is okay by now. Wishing you well.

vanilla said...

Do hope everything is okay by now. Wishing you well.

Suelene Gallogly said...

Sorry you are sick, Pearl. Hope you feel better soon.

Geo. said...

Rest and recover, Pearl. You're important.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
Uh oh, early season lurgy; honeyed tea, lots of blankets and a dose or two of asprin..... did that get mentioned at all? Rest Pearlie. Rest well... YAM xx

NotesFromAbroad said...

I guess Mary talked to my husband once upon a long time ago. Every time he would feel sick, he would wrap up in a dozen blankets, moan a little , ask for hot tea and sweat it out. He would take a nap and I swear, he always woke up saying he felt almost well again.

jenny_o said...

Yep, 'tis the season. Just think, though - if you're among the first to get sick, you'll be all healthy and happy again when everyone else finally falls. Or maybe that's just lies I tell myself. Hope you're better real soon, Pearl. Make sure to get all the cat hair off the eyeballs before you stick 'em back in.

Barbara Torris said...

I am sorry but I have to ask...did any of that actually work or will you be better in 7-10 days like everyone else? Just wondering.

sage said...

I hope you are feeling better, but you should mix that local honey with some whiskey and peppermint...

Catalyst/Taylor said...

I'm so happy to be out of that climate. I don't know why I don't get colds or flu in Arizona but I don't. I'm so happy.

Oh, yeah. Feel better, Pearlie May.

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

When sick go to bed, unless you are a mother than you have to run around after children and cook food before going for lay down

Pearl said...

Thank you, everyone, for the well wishes. :-) It's Tuesday, and I'm feeling a bit better, although it seems to have settled nicely in my throat and chest. A couple more days, perhaps, of the neti pot and a mustard plaster (not really) and I should be back to health!

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

I just hate when my eyeballs fall out on the carpet. Everything is fuzzy after that.

I hope this is virus is a short one, Pearl.

Daisy said...

I hope you feel better soon. Mary sounds very wise.

Daisy said...

Hope you feel better soon Pearl.