I've been included in a Minnesota anthology "Under Purple Skies", now available on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Friday, October 3, 2014

And Don't Forget to Tune in Tomorrow, Where Pearl Makes Pithy Observations about Migrating Geese

Just like that, and in a fashion true to Minnesota and her inconsistencies, the weather has made me a liar.

I spoke yesterday – to anyone who would listen, frankly – about my feelings regarding the turning of the seasons, of the darkening skies, of the fact that the time we will spend naked between now and, say, May, has dwindled dramatically.

The temperature at the bus stop yesterday, after all, was 44 degrees.  Enough to get anyone excited.

Today’s rather non-autumnal temperature?

74.

It is here, by the way, that I should interject with a dramatic retelling of the blizzard of Some Much Earlier Year, wherein people, caught unaware by the storm, were forced to take refuge in the interior of oxen and those trapped in houses by unbudge-able doors were compelled to ration their chewing tobaccy, harsh times calling for harsh measures.

Shh.  You hear that? 

Someone has begun to hum The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.

It is a fact of life in these here parts that we are contractually obligated to discuss the weather (you’ll find it sandwiched there between the lines specifying that Cream of Mushroom soups must be in the pantry at all times and the part about all carbonated beverages being referred to as “pop”).

Look: when you’re subjected to a hundred-degree temperature differential in the course of a year, you’re allowed a certain amount of weather-related obsession.


Not to mention that, you know, it’s part of the contract.  

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Are you sure you're not Canadian?

vanilla said...

And there is no one who honors a contractual obligation more seriously than a Minnesotan.

Joanne Noragon said...

A reprieve? I thought you were the source of what's going on right now, in my front yard.

jenny_o said...

It's in a Maritimer's contract, too, even though our weather is moderated somewhat by that big swimming pool to the east. You guys do have some wildly different weather there in the run of a year, don't you? Brrr, melty, blowy, damp, brrr, melty ...

Notes From ABroad said...

Watch out for all that pithiness, you never know what will happen.
I was bragging about how sunny and warm it was yesterday ... yester day ! and today it is sunny but quite brisk ... chilly ... some might even say it was cold this morning. Ask the kitten, she'll tell ya !

Geo. said...

Be very cautious of unseasonable temperature-rise, Pearl. Here in California it's 90 degrees. When we do see a cloud we don't know if it's weather or a vacationing Minnesotan who has evaporated. Climate's tricky all over now.

Jono said...

What's really fun is getting a one hundred degree temperature change just by going outside in winter. Yes, you can drive a nail with a frozen banana.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
Climate. Can't live with it, can't live without it. I'm curious, has obsessive helped overcome it? YAM xx

Elephant's Child said...

Sigh. We are lurching towards our summer meltdown faster than I like. And I will talk about it. And whinge about it. Often.

fmcgmccllc said...

I have a light pair of red knit gloves in my hoodie and I know you understand. Sometimes you gotta prepare for the worst. And I am hoping at this point that is low 40's.

Gigi said...

Well since you brought up the weather....have you seen this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sKdDyyanGk

The weather, apparently, is discussed by folks of all ages.

Leenie said...

I salute you and all MN with a can of pop. Bi-polar weather here, too. One moment so cold the birds are freezing solid on the power lines and my lips are freezing to my teeth. Then the sun comes out and everyone is forgetting to take home the parka they wore to work.

Looking forward to your pithy observations on geese and I love Geo's comment about evaporating MN tourists.

Sioux Roslawski said...

And the two felines would like their cream warmed, now that the weather has gotten cooler...

Sioux Roslawski said...

And the two felines would like their cream warmed, now that the weather has gotten cooler...

Silliyak said...

Don't get pithy with ME mithy!

Catalyst said...

A Pearl, you don't KNOW real winter weather. Check this out: http://www.mandanhistory.org/images/Mandan_Pioneer_-_1966_Snow_of_the_Century_Derated.pdf

Merlesworld said...

Weather it's always talked about a lot, but it's a safe subject and everyone has something to say about it.
Merle..........

Linda O'Connell said...

My coworkers won't even mention the "S" word if it is predicted.

Douglas said...

74? That's an excellent Fall temp here in Paradise. I hear a nasty rumor, though, that Monday morning it will be about 62 degrees (F, that is) when we tee off. That's downright cold for us. Sounds like a "Big Boy Pants" day.

Bill Lisleman said...

Absolutely love the lyrics of that song. I have never been able to work Chippewa and Gitche Gumee into the same sentence. Just brilliant.
That song should be background music for all weather reports.

lotta joy said...

I've finally become acclimated to my move from Indiana four years ago, to Florida. I thought I couldn't live without the changing seasons, but I've learned it's easier to have just two pair of winter jeans in the closet next to my shorts. No more bring in the winter clothes and carting out the summer ones. And those winter clothes got heavier to lift every year. lol