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Thursday, September 25, 2014

Part II: Does a Cat Change Its Stripes?

Did you miss Part One?  Go here.  Go on now – we’ll wait for you…

The cat settles on my lap.  It’s Wednesday, and frankly, I’m exhausted.

I lean forward, pick up the gin and tonic (extra limes) that she insists I have, and take a sip.

Liza Bean Bitey, one-time Junior Olympic hopeful in the butterfly stroke and in-demand studio musician, looks up at me.

“How was your day?

I sigh, open my mouth.  “Well –“

“Let me tell you about mine,” she interrupts.

Well, she made an attempt, didn’t she?

I sigh again.  “What up, cat?”

She squints at me, eyes sparkling like purloined dimes. 

“I shall tell you,” she says, “what is “up”, as you so quaintly put it.”

She pauses.

Oh, but the kitty do like her dramatic pauses. 

Me?  I’m tired.  “Well?!”

Liza Bean takes a breath.  “Fuzzwald was here for lunch.”

I frown, look around the room.

The cat closes her eyes and sighs.  “What,” she says, “are you doing.”

“Looking for hidden cameras,” I say.  “You had lunch with Fuzzy?  Here?  You had lunch with the cat who once taped your paws to a bar, leaving you passed out on a stool?”

The edges of her mouth go up slightly.  “Well, I was quite drunk.  I guess he didn’t want me to get hurt.”

“He left you there!”

She shrugs.  “Everyone knows me at Jimmy’s.”

“He left you for a much younger cat,” I point out. 

She smiles.  “Who left him not much later.”

I frown. 

“Tut-tut, Pearl.  You’ll give yourself deeper wrinkles.”

We laugh.

“So you had lunch,” I prompt. 

The cat reaches back quickly, licks a shoulder blade.

My jaw drops.  “Oh, no,” I say.  “You’re getting back together.”

Liza Bean looks up.  “What?”  She shudders delicately.   “Oh, no.  Me?  What am I?  A dog?”

We laugh again.  The forgiving nature of dogs has always mystified the cat.

“Then what?” I say.

“Fuzzwald,” she says, “has found himself.”

I stare at her, then reach for my drink.

“He wanted to discuss the power of positivity.”

My eyes glued to the cat, I absentmindedly reach into my glass, find a lime, and see if I can’t squeeze a little more juice out of it.

I can. 

I lift the drink to my lips.  “The power of what now?”

The cat laughs.  “Apparently Mr. Stripersson has quit drinking and has replaced gin with –“


“Just so.”  Liza Bean stands, leaps to the coffee table, and lifts her drink.

“Wait,” I say.  “You didn’t borrow him any money, did you?”

Liza Bean leans forward, touches her glass to mine, and smiles into her drink.  “Oh, Pearl.  Do I look like a dog to you?”


vanilla said...

Apparently, the Cat is smarter than even you give her credit for.

(I love prepositional endings.)

joeh said...

No one can tell a cat story like Pearl!

jenny_o said...

I almost - almost - feel sorry for Mr. Stripersson. That Liza Bean is smiling entirely too much.

Delores said...

I'd still do a quick check of the house. One can be positive about so many things you see.

Daisy said...

Never underestimate the power of positivity! :D

savannah said...

this diet has me focusing on all the wrong things, sugar! you had lost me at gin & tonic, for a minute, or 2, but i did finish reading. miss dolores is right, don't leave anything to chance, check the house and your emergency money hiding place! xoxoxox

Jono said...

Liza Bean is a major heartbreaker as well as the center of the universe. A demanding job she has.

Eva Gallant said...

Liza Bean is nobody's fool!

Elephant's Child said...

Cat revenge is a scary, scary thing. And for that (unlike food, pats and my wake-up time), they have patience. Oceans of patience.
Fuzzwald has taped his last paws...

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
..dog, no... bit of bitch maybe... just sayin' &*> Stay positive Pearl, the truth will out. YAM xx

Merlesworld said...

Not keen on dogs is she, you have a knack of telling a story.

Rose L said...

“Wait,” I say. “You didn’t borrow him any money, did you?”
Ahem...the correct language would be "You didn't lend him any money, did you?"
I am surprised that our mutual friend, Pat L. did not jump right on that one!!!

the walking man said...

No she didn't lend him any money, but remember that $40 you had stashed away from your last catering gig...

Jocelyn said...

Every damn time, I can't believe the way you pull in this Not A Cat Person over here.