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Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Wherein Pearl's Wardrobe Gets the Recognition it Deserves; or, Hey! Are Those New Pants?


I’m wearing a new pair of pants today.

What’s that, you say? Why yes, I find that to be true as well! New clothes do make life worth living!

As shallow and self-serving as it may sound, somehow, wearing something to work that I’ve never worn before makes my job more exciting.

Can you imagine? More excitement than I had last week! Is that possible? As if the giddiness of the day’s filing and repeated “Good morning this is Pearl how can I help you?” isn’t enough!!

And now I’m doing it in new pants?

How in the world am I going to top this?

It’s been a fact of my corporate/office-style existence since, oh, well, let’s see. I started working right after World War I – the War to End All Wars, we called it. At first, I was content to just draw lines up the backs of my legs to simulate nylons, but I wanted more. I wanted one of those mink-biting-its-feet stoles like you saw in the talkies. I wanted my cigarettes in those long holders. I wanted to draw arches into my eyebrows that said “beat it, wise guy!”. I wanted shoulder pads that would make Joan Crawford weep.

I’m a little more subdued these days. I no longer think that knee-high moccasins are appropriate for the office. You can no longer tell what my favorite bands are from the logos on my shirts. I no longer carry changes of clothes in the back seat of my car, just in case I don’t make it home before I have to work again; and I now put on new make-up every day, even if I woke up in yesterday’s.

Whether I need to or not.

This new attention to my wardrobe might explain my rocket-like rise to power in the last 80 years from dance hall girl to vaudeville crooner to receptionist/copy drudge to World’s Best Lackey. (The title is self-appointed, but I’m sure HR will back me up on this.)

Anyway, that’s all I had to say today. Just wanted to let you know that I look and feel spiffy.

Carry on!

22 comments:

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari Om
...and you sound it too. Now all you gotta do is become the World's BEST PAID Lackey and then we are talking toe-nibbling foxes again. Everything is a cycle. YAM xx

Delores said...

As Worlds Best Lackey you are probably dancing faster than a Dance Hall Girl...you need new pants for that.

Dawn@Lighten Up! said...

Do I detect a little sarcasm here?
I sure hope so.
;)

Shelly said...

And a new pair of pants is a wonderful thing to celebrate. Hit the old pinata a coupla times for me-

Pearl said...

Yam, :-)

Delores, oooh, good point.
And of course there's fewer drinks involved.

Dawn, :-) I've nothing to say beyond ":-)".

Pearl said...

Shelly, a pinata!!! I think one is in order soon -- summer is almost over...

jenny_o said...

New pants are so much more trustworthy than new shoes. Except if there's a zipper involved, of course. Then all bets are off.

I hope I didn't just kill your buzz.

Nah, you're wise to the ways of pants.

yippee said...

I do wish I were an Editor so that you could have your real title of Writer as befits your talent and your calling. Your writing is truly such a joy to read.

Simply Suthern said...

Have you ever accidently answered the phone with "This Is Pearl"?

joeh said...

I think I have an idea why you haven't risen past "Worlds Best Lackey" and busted through the glass ceiling.

I always preferred the "Worlds Best Lackeys" to the "Boot Licking Toadies" on the top floor!

ellen abbott said...

I was in a clothing store that had some very nice grown-up looking things, as opposed to the jeans and t-shirts I normally wear, but I didn't buy anything cause where would I wear them? In the shop? Cause that's the only place I ever seem to go.

Joanne Noragon said...

I put on my very blue, very well creased, nicely snug blue jeans this morning, because I had an important meeting. I killed 'em.

wellfedfred said...

I know it's time to buff the résumé when the best thing that happened all day is my tights didn't tear (yep, not a fashion-related situation).

I love your fashion posts - such a clear sense of style!

Friko said...

New trousers! And it’s not even Christmas!

Indigo Roth said...

We love a spiffeh Pearl x

Ray Denzel said...

Now I know where the expression hot pants comes from!

Sioux said...

Pearl--I am sure you ALWAYS look maaahvelous--new britches or something old and pillball-covered.

The mink-biting-its-feet stole made me smile and remember...

Those were good times.

Launna said...

Good to know Pearl... I love when I splurge and have a whole weeks worth of new clothes for work... it's a let down after that... lol

Elephant's Child said...

I am so glad that you never bought into the suck skills for success model of workforce participation.
And am sure you do look spiffy.

Gigi said...

New pants - ones that fit and don't need tailoring - I'm jealous.

Rock those pants!

Daisy said...

NEW PANTS!! You sure do live life on the edge. :D

Suzanne Casamento said...

So glad you have new pants! Hopefully they worked out better than the new shoes. ;)