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Monday, August 18, 2014

Mondays are Awesome, and Other Lies We Tell Ourselves


Mondays are among the more tiresome of the weekdays, don’t you think?

These are the days when the bed has never been quite so comfortable, the kitties quite so adorable, the looming work week quite so, oh, I don’t know – duty-driven.

Don’t get me wrong. I love working, as is required by all Midwesterners; but I can’t help but wonder: Is this all there is?

Surely others are fulfilled by their careers, yes?

Let’s see.

Perhaps I’m doing this wrong.

Get up early. Leave where you’d like to be, follow through on your agreement to rent your brain out by the hour, return home to find that everything you’ve not done there remains, mysteriously, undone; and then, as the plastic bottle says, rinse and repeat.

What am I missing?

Perhaps if there were costumes involved. I’m thinking clown suits on Monday – or perhaps clown suits on payday would be more apropos. What about Cowboy Tuesdays? I like the sound of Naked Thursday, but if we're wearing our birthday suits I suppose I'll have to get some of this ironed...

And is it too late to bring back drinking alcohol in the office on Friday afternoons?

I suspect it is.

It used to be almost commonplace, you know.

At any rate – but particularly at this one – I shall soon be reconsidering my stance on goat production as a career path.

Doesn’t that sound nice?

I’m going to need a tractor, a shack (preferably one with a sauna and separate quarters for the servants), and a herd of chickens.  I'll need a Nash or some other big-hooded car for them to climb on.  Ooh, and a gaggle of those ankle-nipping dogs that herd your beasts...

You see?

I’m going to put as much thought into my forthcoming career as a farmer as I did in my current career.

22 comments:

Sioux said...

What about Maragrita Mondays?

If that doesn't keep you in your current career, how about making sure your shack is built into the side of the hill, so the chickens and goats can climb around on your "roof."

Delores said...

I used to walk in to work on Monday morning with a big grin on my face an announce it was my favourite day of the week...fresh start and all that....of course, I was stretching the truth a bit. Anything to get through a Monday, sanity intact. Hang in there, it will be Wednesday before you know it...weird Wednesday...gotta love it.

Shelly said...

Tractor, chickens, shack, big hooded car, herding dog, checkcheckcheckcheck. Sauna...hmmmm. I don't suppose a cow pond on a 106 degree afternoon would count?

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
All good - till the dog ACTually nips your heels and goats eat the tyres; the nearest mechanic is a day's horse-ride away and then he takes a liking to the sauna so you have a squatter. ...Of course he could help you build a moonshinery... YAM xx

vanilla said...

Goats are good; and we need more goats. jsyk, I am opposed to clown suits.

Simply Suthern said...

I kinda like Mondays. It means I survived the weekend.

jenny_o said...

Mondays ARE dreary little !@#$%'s, aren't they? Really, the week doesn't improve until around Thursday.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

I've read there's money to be made in goats--bring them around to cut people's lawns and clear brush. For real!
Then sell the youngsters as a delicacy, roasted on a stick.

Chicken said...

Ah, Fun Fridays, how I've missed them...but I could go for margarita mondays, yes indeedy. I was thinking I might be a mattress quality control inspector next. That sounds doable, especially if we get that Margarita Monday legislation passed.

Susan F. said...

Birthday suits can be ironed ?!!?! That is great news!

Elephant's Child said...

I am so grateful to have left the working week behind me.
Tuesdays were my worst. It always seemed that the week had already lasted a month - and that I had at least a year to get through before the weekend.

Gigi said...

No doubt about Monday's are the worst. Except when you have it off. Then Tuesday is the bad guy that week!

Silliyak said...

Monday Monday, can't trust that day

Geo. said...

Remember, Pearl, garbage service is sketchy in rural areas so you'll want to live near a ravine.

Merlesworld said...

Don't worry when you retire every day is Friday or it is to the beer fairy.
Merle..............

joeh said...

Ah, memories, Friday afternoon at the bar...just don't go to your bosses watering hole.

Rose L said...

I always hate Mondays. After 3 days off (I only work Monday, Tuesday and Thursday) it is hard to return to work on Monday. But I suppose if I had Monday off, I would grow to despise getting up early on Tuesday!

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

I want to know why Monday comes around in a flash and Friday takes forever to arrive

Diane Tolley said...

And you'll need a pitchfork. There's no way of knowing when a painter may show up. Be prepared . . .

the walking man said...

Start your new career early throw a bunch of broken and used appliances on your front lawn.

fmcgmccllc said...

In New Orleans they still drink on Friday afternoons, you need to move.

Suzanne Casamento said...

I hate renting out my brain by the hour. I agree. There has to be a better way.