I've contributed to perhaps the best humor compilation I've ever read. Available now on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Just a Little Color...


Having lived successfully through a turbulent childhood, the 80s/90s/and yesterday, a motorcycle “club” (never say “gang”), and motherhood, I can safely say that I am not an addictive personality.

You’ll have to take my word for it.

That said, however, I’m going to have to take a long lunch today and run to Target. I may not be back as soon as you think I should, but please don’t worry. You’ll have to trust me on this. Something’s come up, something you don’t know about me, and something that I cannot hide from you for too much longer.

Maybe I should just tell you now.

You see, I’ve forgotten my lipstick.

Go ahead. Scoff. Shoot, if it wasn’t me, I’d be scoffing with you! But it is me, and I feel my pain.

Shhhhhh. Listen. Do you hear that? That’s the sound of my lips chapping.

My mother was a lipstick kind of gal. Not in a gaudy way – never! That would not do. But a quick trip to the grocery store? “Just a little color…” she’d mutter while applying her lipstick, trailing off as she peered earnestly into the mirror. A brush through the hair, a “little color” and she was gone, looking good and getting it done.

One got the feeling, watching her, that that “little color” was done not for her but for others.

Me?

Hardly!

While it is true that I have a healthy ego (actually masking the fear that everyone else is attending some fabulous party that I’ve not been invited to for reasons known only to them) and often feel that people are looking at me in silent judgment, the lipstick is not necessarily to add a dash of color for others on this bleak and humidity-wrapped April day.

I apply lipstick, all day, several times a day, because I like it.

I’m used to it.

I’m just used to it! OK? That’s all! OK? I’m just used to it! I like it! I mean, I could stop but it doesn’t affect my life or anything! It’s not like I’m leaving work just to –

Oooooh.

18 comments:

vanilla said...

Addiction: stealth attack.

vanilla said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Daisy said...

My aunt always added "a little colour"! Looks good on ya, Pearl. I never wear it myself.

Dawn@Lighten Up! said...

This is awesome! Lipstick will never be my vice, though. It only makes my thin lips look thinner.
Now, eyelash curlers? A whole different story. In fact, I feel a curl coming on.
Wait, where is it?! Where's my eyelash curler?! Ahhhhhh!!!!

jenny_o said...

On those rare occasions when I wear lipstick, for the first hour it wears me, then it fades in the middle but not the ends, and then I smear whatever remains on my glass/mug/clothing. I am lipstick challenged. But I admire those who wear it and wear it well. Go get 'em, Pearlie! *cheers with invisible lips*

Should Fish More said...

I feel rather the same when I get to the store and discover I forgot to wear shoes.

Delores said...

It's okay Pearl.....it's okay.

bill lisleman said...

your post left me thinking about the time I wore some on my collar.

Al Penwasser said...

I never wear lipstick, either.
But, that's me.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari Om
..ah well, much depends on WHICH colour of course... and I am surprised the ever-organised Pearlie didn't have a backup in the office drawer! YAM xx

Geo. said...

"...everyone else is attending some fabulous party..." Pearl, how fabulous could it be without you?

Elephant's Child said...

Not for me. I can remember reading that the average woman (whoever she is) consumes several kilos of lipstick in her lifetime.
I prefer my calories to come from tastier sources.

Catalyst/Taylor said...

I have been known to use Chap-Stick or something like it. Haven't gotten around to lipstick yet.

River said...

I don't bother with lipstick, I have natural colour in my lips anyway, but I do use a SPF 30+ chapstick in the summer, but only if I'm going out. There's no point if I'm staying home.

Chicken said...

OMG It's a lipstick intervention. I went to one for chap stick once, but this is so much more colorful. I fixed my profile. You can email me know. I think. I'm fairly confident. ish.

Rose L said...

Lipstick?? What's that? I use chapstick...old ladies like me do not need colored lips.

the walking man said...

I cn use any color of lipstick i want. the mustache covers it all anyway.

Daisy said...

I am not a lipstick wearer myself, but I'd never begrudge you a little color. :) Besides, there are much worse things that you could be addicted to if you were so inclined.