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Friday, August 22, 2014

Hold My Calls; or I'll Be In the Tub

I love a hot bubble bath.

The bubbles?  They don't have to be the  Cucumber Mandarin Monkey Lips from Bath and Bodyworks. The bubbles can be from a squirt of dish detergent and an egg beater.

My love of the hot bubble bath is not about the bubbles.

Forget about the bubbles. The bubbles are periphery.

It’s not even the bath. It’s not the bathroom or the tub or the towels or even, so help me, the hot water. 

It is the combination of those things. The holy braid of hot water, bubbles, and a clean tub. The bath tub requires nothing of me but my presence. It’s not hard work, taking a bath; and I can do it like nobody’s business.

But mention “bath” to some people and they look at you as if you’ve suggested that they sit in a tepid tub of chicken broth.

Don’t get me wrong. I understand the shower. It has its place. When you’ve got dirty feet, when you’ve been sweating all day, when you’ve been at a particularly smoky bonfire, when you actually stink, then a shower is your best friend.

Trust me. I enjoy a good stink now and then – I mean, who doesn’t – and when I stink, I shower. But my lifestyle just doesn’t put me in the direct line of sight of a good funky stink very often.

But this isn’t about the shower, dagnab it! Forget the shower!

The bath. It’s about the bath. No one worries in a bathtub. No one gets bad news in a tub. Turn off the phone! Bring a book! Sit in the hot water, legs stretched out in front of you. Encourage a cat to balance on the edge of the tub, if only for the looks of suspicion that she’ll give your toes through the bubbles…

Scratch that. The cat is not the point.

The cat is periphery.

It’s the bubble bath. The bubble bath is the point.

And I feel the need to defend it.

31 comments:

Dawn@Lighten Up! said...

The phrase "holy braid" just made my day. Fantastic!

Shelly said...

A sister in arms. I'll defend the bubble bath till the end.

Should Fish More said...

I lived in Japan 45 years ago, my house had a traditional Japanese bathtub, heated by a wood fire under the house (a contained steel box), then cold water added as it continued to heat up. The difference is that one washes off before getting into the tub.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

I confess, I'm a shower girl. I like that steady stream on my back and head.

Daisy said...

I don't think the cat is going to like you saying that the cat is periphery! Don't worry, I won't tell. :)

I agree with the bath. Every now and again,I enjoy a "Calgon, take me away" experience.

Delores said...

I used to love the tub until it got to hard to get out of....I'm thinking of investing in one of those step in tubs with the whirlpool jets and the heated seat.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
There is a bath tub here. There was a bath tub there. But whether they got used? Neither here nor there. YAM xx

Geo. said...

Personally, I see nothing wrong soaking in a "tepid tub of chicken broth" sometimes.

jenny_o said...

Baths! Shudder. Too much water all in one place (drowning risk!), temperature goes from too hot to too cold in less than five minutes, bubbles make me itch and/or sneeze - oh, Pearl, you can have your bubble baths and ALL of mine and I'll thank you for taking them off my hands! I wonder if the world is divided between bath people and shower people like it's divided between morning larks and night owls? ...

joeh said...

I like the shower, but then my rubber duck prefers the tub.

Elephant's Child said...

I do like a good wallow (with book) from time to time.
I should add that the bubbles you drink go to ones last remaining brain cell very, very rapidly when you are immersed in the other bubbles.

Wynn said...

I am known to shower a quickie while the tub fills up, when I'm really dirty. Then it doesn't feel like I'm bathing in my own grime. Also, candle light is mandatory!

Sioux said...

I've dropped many a library book in the bathwater, and when I return it to the library and apologize and offer to pay for it, they would almost always say, "You're not the first...don't worry about it."

(And I had a cat that loved to perch on top of my belly as I lay in the tub. I guess if I had a tiny gut, there would not have been room for him. Perhaps THAT is why I let my stomach get so out of control? It was a sacrifice I made for my feline...;)

Chicken said...

I'll join your holy war! Get it? Wholey? Bubbles are sorta...never mind, the holes are not the point! The Defence is the point. And I'm in.

BLissed-Out Grandma said...

When I was in college, I figured out that a plastic bowl full of popcorn will float. A truly lovely addition to my leisurely bath.

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

When I started having children, I grew to love my bath time. It was not a hurry, hurry thing and with the water running hard, I could not hear them and with the door locked, they could get to me. The children are long gone, but me and my tub are forever together. It is my one real luxury and I don't care what the naysayers say.

Catalyst/Taylor said...

Wait a minute. What's the point again?

River said...

Sadly I no longer have a tub :(
(the laundry tub doesn't count)
but when I did, I often created bubbles with a good squirt of shampoo and a whisk.

Daisy said...

I miss my bathtub, but can't get in or out anymore. However I can listen to this song: "In The Bath" by Flanders and Swann
http://youtu.be/P2s5XqIfr08

:-)

Daisy said...

The words are to "in the bath" are at:
http://www.nyanko.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/fas/tried_bath.html

Jono said...

As a real manly man (choke, gasp) I have to shower. That said, I can appreciate checking out for a while in a nice hot bath. If it had too many bubbles I couldn't find my toy boats, though.

savannah said...

We have a jetted tub in bathroom I think I've used 4 times! The coconut krewe can't believe how foolish we are for not indulging more often...I'm starting to think they're right! xoxoxo

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

I am a bath person, I take after my nanna in that regard always a tub over a shower till she was unable to get in or out of the bath on her own then she moved to having showers

Indigo Roth said...

I'm so damned envious. I've not fit into a bathtub in years. They just seem to keep making them smaller. Even my one. #truestory Indigo x

Judy said...

I can totally understand your sentiments, but I only do baths in the winter. Somehow a bath in summer has no appeal for me. Enjoy!!!

Susan F. said...

Bath or shower (although I am most often a shower girl) - it is rare that I enjoy the water without taking a moment to be grateful.
To me, that hot water is the ultimate luxury and it is a reminder of what so many people live without - I just cannot image.

Jocelyn said...

Yea, a bath is like a mini-vacation. Something about it gives you the right to tell all the world NO for that period of time. People who are oogied out by baths need therapy.

fmcgmccllc said...

Bubble baths are bad for UTI,s according to my docs. Great if you can do this.

Nashville Brown said...

Yeah, I don't know...I was in the tub one time when my mom found a small leach on my penis. That was bad news.

On another note, please check out my blog.

GO VIKES.

the walking man said...

"fraid i need a picture of you in this bath" thing you speak of for me to know of what you speak.

Linda O'Connell said...

Tub? Did you say tub? Now you have me considering a hot tub!