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Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Well, I Can See I'm Going to Have to Take Back a Lot of What I've Said

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day when the subject of the state of our bodies came up.

Having known each other since shortly after high school, we had a lot of ground to cover, and much of it was freckled.

My friend confides that the picture of her in a bikini in her early 20s and doing the dishes maintains all the lithe detail you’d ever want in photographic proof of hotness and remains a source of pride and inspiration.

Plus it’s evidence that she has, indeed, done the dishes at least once.

Me, I am pleased to report that my ankles continue to be identifiable as separate from my calves and that I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.

And that concludes the uplifting news.

The truth is that it appears that the very things we noticed in older women, as younger women, have reared up to bite us on our unthinking and uncharitable asses.

Me? No, I’ve never been thoughtlessly cruel. Unless you count my teen-aged snickering of a rather mountainous woman on a beach in Florida. My sister and I sat on our smug little beach towels and spoke in nasty asides of balloons stuffed with grapes, of large and quaking puddings. I am confident that the woman in question didn’t hear us, asleep and with headphones on as she was; but decades later, as I contemplate the state of my thighs, I can only be glad that we didn’t mock a bald woman.

What were we thinking? Or was it a matter of not thinking? For surely no one ever got toward the head of the age line and said, “I’d like to develop jowls, please. Ooh, and if I could get the weird tiny veins at the back of my knees that would be lovely as well.”

The summer season, in all its flesh-baring and short-lived ways, is a reminder, isn’t it?

Wear that bikini while you can. Autumn is coming.

28 comments:

Rosemary Nickerson said...

Good Grief, Charlie Brown! We aren't getting any younger, and the future is looking bleak. I still wear my bikini on the boat when only the man who HAS TO love me, is within viewing distance. THose using binoculars get what they deserve.

Al Penwasser said...

I'm really trying to get rid of that picture of me in a bikini.
But, you know how it is with the Internet. Once it's there, it's there.
On the bright side, I hear it's a viral sensation in Thailand.

Pearl said...

Rosemary, I love that. :-)

Al, I LOLed. Dammit, Al. I LOLed.

Sioux said...

There was a segment on the national news this morning about a woman who confronts men who whistle and make comments about female commuters.

One of the men stated, "Women in Minnesota are hot!" and I immediately thought of you, Pearl.

You now have proof: you're still hot. ;)

(By the way, when I was a teenager, I laughed and snickered over a Van Gogh sketch. It showed a nude woman hunched over. Her droopy, breasts lay on top of her poochy belly and I was SURE I would never get to that point of disgustinghood. Unfortunately, I passed by that phase many pounds ago...Karma will bite down hard.)

jenny_o said...

I blame it on the kids. Everything was fine until I had babies. Then it all went sideways. Literally.

Indigo Roth said...

And after Autumn, there is winter...

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
I was never a sight for sore eyes. Now I just make eyes sore. YAM xx

Susan Williams said...

Gravity's a cold-hearted wench.
And yes, I'm getting my comeuppance as well.
Did I really think she could HELP having those jowls???

Say What? said...

All I'm gonna say is, the day I turned 40. Darn that day I turned 40. It all started to change. It was like .... overnight. #sigh

Daisy said...

One of the very few good things about winter is we get to hide under all those nice warm layers of clothes. :)

Delores said...

As one who is starting to resemble a bull dog facially....I can honestly say....age stinks. The only compensation is that it comes to us all...no exceptions.

Hilary said...

As hilarious as your writing is.. and it is, your blog comments take on a life of their own. Your visitors are also such a hoot. As for bikinis... I'm just grateful for the invention of cover ups.

Dr. Kathy McCoy said...

In my otherwise thoughtless youth, I always had this nagging suspicion that what I mocked, I would become. And even though I kept my less than charitable thoughts mostly to myself, it has come to pass. I have my mother's rotundity and my father's bad teeth! I'm trying to think only happy, charitable thoughts from now on!

Dawn@Lighten Up! said...

I must have mocked a bald woman, because I swear I am headed that way.

NotesFromAbroad said...

I wish I could take back my teenage snickering at the woman with .... may I call them Floppy Bosoms ?...
when mine were tiny but perky, I never thought they would be substantial enough to flop.
They aren't yet but I am seeing a veering towards that possibility.

Merlesworld said...

We Are all getting older, and I have found if you put on weight very slowly that will fill out the wrinkles well that's my story and i'm sticking to it.
Merle.........

Gigi said...

Delores is right! It gets all of us eventually. The unfair part of it is that we are continually reminded of what we used to have by all the youngun's around us...and the satisfaction of knowing that they will get theirs is a sad satisfaction.

Mary Koppel said...

The upside of needing bifocals is I can't really see the damage of age...unless I really want to do so.

Geo. said...

Men are not immune. Past 60 I gained a further respect for Eliot's "Prufrock", and wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Chicken said...

We were thinking, "I'll never let that happen to me. All that it takes is a little discipline." Or was that just me? Ironically, there was usually some kind of mixed beverage and salty snack within arms length.

Daisy said...

I was born droopy. On the plus side, I have an ability to fill out the wrinkles with fat. Oh, what the hell! Love me as I am or take a long walk off a short pier!

River said...

Bikini? At my age? Bite your tongue Pearl.
As for those tiny weird veins at the back of the knees, I have them in patches all over the legs. humpf!
Good to hear you can still fit into those earrings though.

Rose L said...

I have never worn a bikini...a 2 piece suit which the bottoms were like short shorts was closest. I was very skinny when young and tried so hard to gain weight, eating malts like crazy thinking it would give me a few pounds (I was 105 when I got married at 23!). One thing I took was WeightOn tablets, which were chewable ones, about 2 inches across and tasted like a chalk and cardboard blend. Well, now I believe they were time released as when I hit about 47 I began to gain weight...and it did not stop!
I blame the tablets!!
That Van Gogh sketch,...that is me now! WAHHHH!

esbboston said...

I promise not to wear a bikini, ever.

Ms Scarlet said...

Weird veins on my ankles... solution:- socks and sandals!
I am British.
Sx

Linda O'Connell said...

With mopsy and flopsy and wide bertha as attachments, I make fun of no one. Think if I went for the lifestyle lift they'd have to start at my jello-jiggler thighs.

Launna said...

I think it's good we are not aware of how fast we age when we are younger... otherwise we might not enjoy being young and wearing those bikinis when we can.♡

Jen said...

People don't choose their bodies - or their hair - but as a kid I started out, for some reason, assuming they did.

Some people still assume that. Usually they are men in their 20's.