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Thursday, July 3, 2014

The New Sprink-Handled Dorkstoppers Are In!

 I have two inboxes at work.

That’s two different ways in which I can receive input/direction/headaches/notice that I am pitifully behind schedule.

Look.  I know what you’re thinking: Wow – and it is upon this utterance that I imagine you raising your eyebrows appreciatively, maybe giving a low whistle – there’s so much more to that Pearl than just a straight spine and three pairs of practical shoes.

And there, you would be right.  Because while I can suck in my gut and sit up straighter than your mother requires and have fully three pairs of shoes I trust not to slip on ice or give me bunions, there’s just so much more to me.

Like that second inbox at work.

I patrol these inboxes like a drug addict in a darkened tenement hallway, where a light bulb blinks on and off, on and off, dependent on how well I understand the request at either location.  Roughly three months into a position where the people around me speak a geek/pulsating-brain hybrid that I’m slowly picking up, I cruise my inboxes, clicking open requests for the latest in garkfingled fluorsheimers and expectations on when they may expect receipt of the new sprink-handled dorkstopper.

The hours just fly by.

Still.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.  While some may hope that things never change, I personally hope they always will.  I get bored and complacent once I think I “know” things.  Next thing you know, I’m shopping online, randomly “liking” things on Facebook, and making haphazard observations about my skin in the mole vs. freckle realm.

None of which is going to serve me at Performance Review time. 

And so I stopped in to tell you this:  I’m working as fast as I can.  I’m learning as fast as I can.  And I’m doing it all whilst sucking in my gut and sitting up straight. 







21 comments:

Daisy said...

Be careful. If the higher-ups discover that you can competently handle two in-boxes, they will be sure to give you a third one.

Should Fish More said...

Pearl
Any time I feel I'm bored with retirement, I can just come read this post.
I get up in the morning with nothing I have to do, and sometimes I don't get it done.

joeh said...

Funny stuff! Been there glad to be out.

SFM - Don't set your goals so high.

Oh Pearl, do those Sprink handles come in blue...and left handed?

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Looking competent is half the battle. Head down, gut in.

Delores said...

We're proud of you Pearl...and you are doing all that whilst keeping your sense of humour. I'd like to order one of those dorkstoppers if you please...I have a dork wandering around the house right now and no way to stop him.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari Om
...and put me down for a fluorsheimer please; no urgency...

;*> YAM xx

jenny_o said...

*cheers for Pearl*

The magic three-month mark ... it's all easier from here on! Until the next change. And as usual I admire your stiff spine. Mine is like a noodle.

Geo. said...

Garkfingled Fluorsheimers? I believe they played Woodstock.

Sioux said...

Could you suck a little harder, and can you do it long-distance? My gut needs some serious sucking-in.

Ian Lidster said...

As long as you're sitting up straight and wearing sensible shoes, nothing else much matters.

Elephant's Child said...

I do love you.
And am so very grateful to have left my overflowing inboxes behind.

vanilla said...

The one thing we all need to know is that there is something new to learn everyday. Learn it.

Jennifer A. Jilks said...

You are such a hoot!
(ツ) from Cottage Country Ontario , ON, Canada!

River said...

And as I read this I sucked in my gut and sat up straight. Geez it was hard! I'm such a sloucher these days.
Do the dorkstoppers actually stop the dorks?

Chicken said...

My mother is very proud of you:-)

Linda O'Connell said...

You are bound to make employee of the month, yet again, funny girl.

Slamdunk said...

Thanks for the laugh Pearl.

Here's to hoping that you are never bored.

Happy 4th!

Diane Tolley said...

Your position as my hero remains unchanged . . .

Eva Gallant said...

I'm with Daisy....beware that 3rd inbox!

Diane Tolley said...

When there's nothing more to learn, it's time for the dorkstoppers to come home to roost. Let's never get there!

Indigo Roth said...

... while wearing sensible shoes too, damn you. Pffft. Roth x