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Monday, July 21, 2014

Just Another Zombie Sunrise

I wouldn’t say I was a paranoid woman, a suspicious woman or even a woman with grave concerns.

But indication that the zombies are gathering was apparent on my ride to work this morning.

There are three steps, up and into the bus.

The bus driver has been the same person for several months now.

“Good morning,” I say. A crotchety, pinch-faced individual, he continues to stare straight ahead.

This particular driver has not once, since taking over this route, responded in any way to my greeting and I now say it while mentally calculating the number of people he acknowledges a day, a number I place, having seen him every morning for roughly four months, at zero. I wonder if he knows that I now say “good morning” without any real wishes that he actually have a good morning.

I refuse to let the crabby fart stand in the way of my being friendly, however, and I scan my Go card and proceed toward the back of the bus.

The light at this time of morning is high and diffused, and despite getting sun on both the walk to and from work -- that's a good 15 minutes of sun, people!  my summer tan is fading quickly, leaving me mere shades from my original and in-the-box condition.

From the looks on the faces of the people around me I am not the only one for whom this is true.  It is 6:14, and while mostly awake, the faces around me are slack, eyes unblinking,

I settle into my seat and touch my cheek, checking for similar slackness.

I turn to my seat mate. “Does anything seem different to you today?”

She smiles and holds up her hands, palms up. She doesn’t speak English.

“Zombies,” I say, smiling. “Think any of these people might be zombies?”

She continues to smile, shakes her head, and resumes staring out her window.

It occurs to me that, when the zombies come, they will take public transportation. I can see it now.

“’morning, Jim!”

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaah.”

“What’s that, Jim?”

“AAaaaaaaaaah.”

“Well that’s true, but they have just as much a chance as any other team. Don’t let anyone tell you differently!”

“Aaaaaaaaaaaah.”

“Well, here’s my stop. See you later!”

“Aaaaaaaaah.”

Who will notice?

I look around the bus. So many zombies already: on the bus, in the elevator, standing in line at the bank.

Ever vigilant. That’s me. Ever working, ever tax-paying, ever vigilant.



Do I look pale to you?

Aaaaaaaaaah.

24 comments:

jenny_o said...

Pale is the new healthy, so how will we even know if they're zombies or just enthusiastic sunscreen users? Ah well, we all need someone to acknowledge us in the morning so keep up the good work, Pearl!

joeh said...

At 6:45AM, I prefer Zombies!

Pearl said...

jenny_o, then I am in fashion. :-)

joeh, they're quiet, I'll give them that!

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Were they staring at screens? That's usually a "dead" giveaway...

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
The tone of a bus is set by the driver. He's the lead zombie. Off with his head.... YAM xx

Delores said...

Keep a sharp eye out Pearl....you never know who could be 'undead'.

Indigo Roth said...

I'm with Yam. Zombie driver. Has to be.

Al Penwasser said...

Just make sure they stay away from your brain.

Sioux said...

You may be a bit pale still, but to a zombie, I'm sure you look delicious...(or alluring or appealing or invigorating or whatever zombies consider good in the people they bite? kill? take over?)

You can see I am NOT a zombie enthusiast...

BLissed-Out Grandma said...

Now that you mention it, zombies were already riding the bus decades ago. I remember the day I realized that I looked just like them. After that I usually tried to look a bit more animated, but right this minute I'm sitting at my computer...looking rather like a zombie.

BLissed-Out Grandma said...

Oh, and good for you, continuing to greet the driver! You are indeed ever vigilant in so many ways.

Elephant's Child said...

I could warm to zombies in the morning. No complicated decisions or interactions on my part. I hope they are slow moving though...

vanilla said...

You're a Lert, that's what you are; a Lert.

Suzanne Casamento said...

I love this post! You made me laugh aloud. You are right, there are zombies everywhere. But I love that you continue to greet them with cheer.

Rock on, Pearl!

Geo. said...

I'm satisfied you have an innate, shockproof, zombie-detector and will never become one.

Gigi said...

You are up, dressed, alert AND boarding the bus at 6:15 am?!

At that hour, I DO resemble a zombie. One with a major craving for coffee.

Chicken said...

aaaahhhhhhhh

Catalyst/Taylor said...

Next time you get on the bus, just stand there staring at him. Eventually he will turn to you. That is when you break into a horrific high-pitched and lengthy scream. Then say "Good morning" and proceed to your seat.

Lin said...

I have to admit to being a "zombie" on my commute each day. But I will say "good morning" if I absolutely have to.

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

I have days when I feel like a zombie like my body is awake and my brain is asleep

Austan said...

It's true, I've seen several today. But the zombies aren't as bad as the vampires. And the vampires are everywhere.

Rose L said...

If one looks hungry to you---RUN!!!

Linda O'Connell said...

There is too much life and humor in you to ever be a zombie.

Daisy said...

I took a Facebook quiz once that was supposed to tell how I would fare in the event of a Zombie invasion. Sadly, it said that I would be one of the very first casualties. With that in mind, I'm staying off the bus! :D