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Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Sister Pearl Elephant; or The Serenity Prayer Would Fit in Here Quite Nicely...

When I was young, back when the Garden of Eden was in bloom and we were still counting how many turtles' shells the Earth was resting on, I actively considered following in the path of Mother Teresa.

No, really.

I was a serious child and could not understand the despair in the world – I was pretty sure I could help.

A lack of confidence has never been one of my problems.

Unfortunately, the path to righteousness has many sideroads at which you may turn; and since leaving childhood, I have gone dizzy with the number of times I've diverged from the path...

I have laughed – and not in a nice way – at a drunk woman who squatted on the sidewalk, in a very short skirt, to rummage through her purse, her underwear glowing in the dark, her butt, inches from the pavement, a chubby white advertisement for sobriety.

I once told a beggar who tried to hug me “Touch me and I’ll scream”.

I have accused my husband, the long-suffering William Throckmorton the III, of undisclosed mental retardation after having been asked to repeat myself for the fifth time.

I have chased a rather large woman on a motorized scooter for three blocks before succumbing to asthma and bare-footed-ness.

This is kindness? This is humility? This is turning the other cheek?

Ah, well, the other cheek is still squatting on the sidewalk, I suspect, looking drunkenly for her wallet.

In short, ladies and gentlemen, I believe I have strayed from the path that Mother Teresa would have asked me to walk.

I have lost patience with the people who take more than they need, pretending that they don’t notice that they’ve done so.

I have lost respect for the people who don’t cop to their own culpability, who manipulate reality for their own ends and take others with them.

I have become intolerant of the people who add nothing but only take.

In short, I have discovered that I am more human than I had hoped for.

23 comments:

Should Fish More said...

May I recommend an order based in San Francisco...'The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence'...

Shelly said...

The path you are on, though, brings so much sparkle to all of us. And I really want to hear the story of a barefoot and wheezing you chasing the woman on the scooter...

Pearl said...

Should Fish More, sounds fattening. :-)

Shelly, ask, and ye shall receive. :-)

Simply Suthern said...

Seems you go back quite a ways.
Wasn't you that that elbowed Eve and whispered how good that apple looked was it?

Geo. said...

I'm not Catholic but consider you my patron lert.

Antares Cryptos said...

*blink*
Pearl, hilariously funny and smart. Your Humanity shines through. Based on her biography, even Mother Theresa had her doubts.
Nobody is perfect, we are all fallible. But I doubt you would cause harm with intent.

jenny_o said...

Preach it, Sister. Must be an age thing ... that sounds bad ... what I mean is that in my younger days I too failed to have the empathy I should have had on occasion, but now that my empathy is straightened out, I'm finding the proper limits for it as well.

You are a good human bean, Pearl.

Joanne Noragon said...

Thank goodness for the MT's of the world, and a fervent Huzzah for the Pearl's.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
This is serious. If it weren't that you made it funny. But Seriously...

Our path can never be anyone else's. You are doing your own path justice. Continue to doubt, Pearl; continue to probe and - for Heaven's sake - continue to tell us how you progress... YAM xx

Steve said...

It gets better as time passes.

Robbie Grey said...

Sometimes, I call it the human affliction because it seems more like a disease than anything else. Be that as it may, you're probably doing fine.

Om mani padme hum...

Daisy said...

I knew it!! You're one of us! :D

Hugs to you, Pearl with your once-lofty goals and still very kind heart.

Dawn@Lighten Up! said...

Have you become intolerant?
Or just smarter?

Eva Gallant said...

I just can't picture you in a nun's habit!

Daisy said...

Does this mean that if I drink more, I'll be able to squat with my butt just inches off the pavement? Most important...was she able to get up again??

NanaDiana said...

LOL- Well, I KNOW that NONE Of those people were me- I don't drink OR have glow in the dark underwear...I rarely hug strangers and I have balance issues so don't ride a scooter...otherwise I could have been any of them!

vanilla said...

Like you, I have come to believe that there are indeed justified limits to tolerance.

Gigi said...

You've read my last post so you know I have very little tolerance. Unlike you, I don't think I ever had any to begin with.

Delores said...

You followed an equally important path......provider of snorts and chuckles and outright wheezing. Where would we be without the marketers of mirth.

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

seriously this was funny shit

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

Pure goodness has its perks, but so does a good laugh. I never remember seeing Mother Theresa (a magnificent woman) smile. The world was always on her shoulders, and that is a pretty big package to hold. Human kindness works for me, and I will pass the heavy lifting to those who aspire for sainthood. I do my best though, but like most of us, fall short.

River said...

We can't all be saints Pearl. Some of us have to entertain others with our wit and writings,(you) and some of us have to be reading those words,(me).

the walking man said...

How do you know I took more than I needed, especially I when I am anticipating future needs in a location where there is no well to dip my snout in?