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Monday, April 7, 2014

Quick! Ask Me While I Still Know What's Going On.


It might not be apparent in looking at me now, but I used to know exactly what was going on. Why, I remember being 18 years old and being absolutely convinced that, for instance, not only would I never gain weight, but I would never ever have bad breath, stretch marks, or cellulite.

I would never spank a child.

I would never be caught up in the work-bill-work-bill cycle.

I would never know – personally or Biblically – a Republican.

Since then, of course, I’ve gone to do/be/do/be/do, in the words of Frank Sinatra, all of those things.

I’m not ashamed. I’ll do it again! What are you looking at?!You don’t know me!!

Or maybe you do. Because I suspect that I am quite commonplace in some of these confessions…

Love, for example. Oh, you shoulda asked me about it years and years ago. I knew all about love! I knew so much I could yammer on about it for absolute hours!

And now?

Now I’m aware of how very many variations of love there are.

And not just the physical variations that would have been at the front and center in my youth. (Please see earlier post on my dirty mind. Thank you.)

And how about my recent bout with technical inflammation? You know, the one where my computer starts making ridiculous demands (Disable my cookies! Reboot me! Let me show you how to get discount pharmaceuticals delivered to your door in a plain brown wrapper!) and eventually slows to a pace designed to make me think of taking up subsistence farming and checking into all this fuss I’ve been hearing about the Mennonites…

They’ll have a place for me, won’t they?

It’s funny. In a stretch of unpaved reality just north of the Mobius strip, I’ve come to realize the more I know, the less I understand, and the more I understand, the less I know.

It’s making me dizzy, just thinking about what I thought I knew, what I used to know, and what I don’t know yet...

And so I’ll stop.

If at 40 I realized how ridiculous I was at 30, just what kind of realizations will 50 hold?

Maybe it's best I wait on the speculation there.

I'm still pretty sure I know what's going on.

26 comments:

vanilla said...

do/be/do/be/do!

Pearl said...

vanilla, Ed Zachary. :-)

Jeanie said...

....and when you reach 60 you will know for a fact that you don't know #@*^, but you won't really care.

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

I've done all those things except a Republican. However, I am sure they are lovable people also.

Delores said...

Wait til you hit 65 and you still don't know what you want to be when you grow up and you're beginning to realize you may NEVER grow up.

Perpetua said...

It sounds like you're in that race between maturity and senility we all have to run, Pearl.

Should Fish More said...

After careful analysis of your posts, obtained from NSA, I've determined the best fit for you is the Yanomomo tribe in NE Brazil. They have better rites than the Mennonites.

As to the rest, no clue.

Known many republicans, never bibically thankfully.

jenny_o said...

Ogden Nash had a poem which I believe addresses your malady:

Senescence begins
And middle age ends
The day your descendents
Outnumber your friends.

Still got lots of friends? You're okay, Pearl! (Internet friends count, too :))

jenny_o said...

Aaaand that should have been spelled descendant, sorry folks.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
Oh you do; I know you do cuz you knew about my inner confessional... YAM xx

bill lisleman said...

Using the wise words of Frank Sinatra adds an extra level of credence to this post. No wonder you have followers.

Elephant's Child said...

Snap. Still learning - but appalled at how ignorant I remain.

Jacquelineand.... said...

I can't really imagine a worse fate than 'knowing' everything....how revolting, like a scummy and stagnant puddle you just stuck a bare foot in!

Jono said...

After 60 I got a lot more comfortable with not knowing or understanding much. It's kind of a peaceful feeling only interrupted by the occasional Republican.

Geo. said...

I'm a Democrat, married a Democrat. Our 2nd son became a Republican. We all still love each other and avoid church, so I guess it's ok.

Gigi said...

At least you "think" you know what's going on...me, I KNOW that I don't have a clue.

Launna said...

Haha Pearl... we know less at 50 than we thought we knew at 40... I just go with it now. :)

I used to think I was so smart... yeah.. not so much.

(Let me tell you a funny story, my oldest had a baby and was planning to have another one when he was a year... I said that is a lot to handle at once... she said "Mommy, it is all in how you raise them"... lmao... I just smiled... my grandson is 2 and half, no other grandchildren yet... :)

HermanTurnip said...

Oh, what little we know while thinking we know it all. 'Tis the cycle of life...

NotesFromAbroad said...

You know what is sad ... I probably used to know what was going on but now, I don't remember. what was going on. or if I ever knew. What's going on ??

I have a kitten.

joeh said...

You just nailed the concept of my writing attempt, "I Used To Be Stupid." If it is any consolation, I find that the older you get, the more distant the time that you realize how ridiculous (stupid) you used to be. I am 68 now and figure I will be 93 before I realize how stupid I am today. As it is, the last time I was really stupid was when I was 55.

Daisy said...

Looks like I'm the oldest one (76) here so far, which means I totally know for certain that I know nothing! Which is exciting because it means there is much to learn!

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

When we are young we think we know it all and by the time we get to be middle aged we realise we are only just starting to know pretty much everything

Linda O'Connell said...

My 17 year old grandson thinks he knows it all. I am at the point where I know a little bit about a lot, but not a lot about a lot.

Daisy said...

I'm 54 and I have absolutely no clue what is going on, but I'm OK with that and I admit it freely. :)

The Chicken's Consigliere said...

At 50 you stop caring about what you know and don't know. You jump in regardless. Time's a wastin'

Jackie K said...

Well, you know that's what wisdom is, realising how little you know.
I'm 44 and while I get better at tackling logistical things in life every year, I'm appalled by how long it took me to get some things, and I cringe when I remember my younger know-it-all self.