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Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Whatcha Eatin'?

My sister and I used to live together, somewhere in our early-30s. It was a damn good time; and when our sons were away on the weekends, as sometimes happened, we’d use the quiet time to get loud.

Shots of vodka and Rollerblades. Do you have any idea how well these things go together? A drunk on skates has no fear and no compunction against, saying, skating to the grocery store to get smokes.

It’s also how we both learned to spin.

Karen and I are dancers, “happy” drinkers, and we’d crank the music up and dance, leaving the room only to answer the phone or go to the bathroom.

I remember going into the bathroom and coming back to see her head in the fridge. There was an odd “pssssssssssst” sound coming from its interior.

“Whatcha eatin’?”

“Come ‘ere! Come ‘ere! Wanna know something really tasty?” She holds up the Redi-Wip container. “Open your mouth!!”

Ah, why not?! I open my mouth and Karen fills it full of whipped cream.

“Hey, you wanna know something else cool?”

This makes me laugh. If shooting Redi-Wip is cool, what else is cool?!

We sit on the floor in the kitchen and open a cupboard, whereupon she reaches in, all the way to the dark, secret recesses of the back of the cupboard, and pulls out a box of saltine crackers and one of those cans of pre-made fudge frosting.

“Put this on ‘ere. Try it.”

Well hot damn, if fudge frosting isn’t good on a cracker!

“Whatcha eatin’” became a joke. We would call each other at work, leaving whispered messages on voice mail: Whatcha eatin’? We would yell at each other through the bathroom door: Hey! Whatcha eatin’?

One day, I am downstairs cleaning the litter box. Exhausted from a day of work and preceding days of cleaning houses, I sat on the floor, hunched over and brain-dead, sifting through the litter box using a large slotted spoon purchased just for such occasions.

Karen walks by me, glances, keeps going – and then stops, backs up to take a second look.

She has a sly grin on her face.

“Hey there, Pearl," she says.  "Whatcha eatin’?”



The simplest memories are the best.

29 comments:

Dawn@Lighten Up! said...

"Whatcha eatin'?"
Why, cookie dough, Pearl. Especially after a night of vodka, dontcha know.
Because, vodka? Pairs well with everything except decisions.
:)

Sioux said...

Nutella is good, too. Just spoon it up...no need for saltine crackers.

Leenie B said...

A sister like that is a priceless gift. Kinda makes up for all the other crap that can rain down.

Jalapeno cheese ball. On a spoon. No cracker needed. Left over from the Superbowl party.

Delores said...

Fudge frosting takes good on pretty much anything....even a spoon. That's a lovely 'sister' memory.

joeh said...

Good times indeed! I wonder how many good times I had after some Vodka...plenty I'm sure, I just can't remember.

Steve said...

One funny post. Thanks.

Launna said...

Oh my... I would have loved to see that sight of you two roller-blading while drinking... that must have been hilarious... lol

jabblog said...

'Kitty croquettes' are tasty or so my dogs would have me believe.

Jocelyn said...

Little-known fact:

cat poop on a Saltine is a delicacy in France.

Ray Denzel said...

Like a scene from 9 1/2 weeks 😈

jenny_o said...

Do you know how lucky you are to have a sister who is also a friend?

Yes, I think you do :)

Marion Bulmer said...

I have several sisters, but never one I could drink like that with. They have other sterling qualities (some of them...)

I do, however, now have The Husband, who is excellent to drink with. And we eat all sorts of daft stuff when the munchies hit. Cubed cheddar, dill pickle and cherry tomatoes smothered in Heinz Salad Cream, eaten with a spoon. We have done the squirty cream in the mouth thing as well. And we will chuck together pancakes (crepes) with sugar and lemon at the slightest drunken provocation.

I am 56. He is 57. We have been married ten years. It is never too late for a happy childhood or a misspent youth!

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
Oh yeah, those easy memories - and lifelong habits developed!

I'm with Marion; salad cream or mayo. Whatever else is around is just the medium with which to transport s.c. or mayo into the mouth........ oh no, now you've got me going.... YAM xx

Tessa~ Here there be musing said...

_That_ has to be one of your greatest memories. What fun you two must be, to be around.

Thank you for your comment in my blog. Yeaaaaaaaaaaah, to a great year!!!!!!!!!!

Tessa~

fmcgmccllc said...

Nothing like a little shared, secret memory. Makes me laugh along with you.

September Violets said...

Ok, so I can't stop reading back post after post on your blog. So funny!! I actually had to go back and read my reply to you from your comment on my blog to see if it was worthy ... it really wasn't. I have to follow you now because I love your writing ;) Wendy

Franklin Bruce Taylor said...

Hilarious!

River said...

strawberries and cubed watermelon, with a fork so my fingers stay clean for commenting purposes. I love your memories.

Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point said...

I was first introduced to the amazing saltine and chocolate combination just this past holiday season. My first words after trying it were "My entire life up until now no longer has any meaning."

HermanTurnip said...

I got drunk once and ate a habanero pepper. Worst. Night. Of. My. Life.

Rose L said...

Hmmm...all that munching. Had you two been "smokin'" before seeking munchies???

Linda O'Connell said...

We dined at the Road Kill Café years ago and laughed ourselves silly when the waiter brought an elderly couple dessert called Kitty Litter: Toosie Rolls served in a pan of crumbled cake. Their expressions, one of my best memories.

Mitchell is Moving said...

This made me burst into a big smile!

NotesFromAbroad said...

Oh how wonderful to have such good memories about growing up with a sister.
Not the typical , we fought over everything until we left home ,sorts of stories.
This is a good 'un Pearl .. thank you, for my first story of the day, it will be hard to beat.
love , C , buried in snow .. I bet I have more snow than you !!

NotesFromAbroad said...

PS
My daughter lives with 2 cats who rule her with iron paws.
She will love this .. I am sending it to her now.

Bossy Betty said...

Vanilla ice cream with salty potato chips. Rapture. I can say no more.

Daisy said...

Hahahaha! Loved that ending, Pearl. Thanks for making me smile. :)

Diane Tolley said...

I so love 'sister' memories! I'm on my way for an overdue visit with mine! Time to make some more of those memories!

Pat Tillett said...

That last one was a classic. Good timing is what it was...