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Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Realizations: Bingo Version

Bingo in a bar.  What a great idea.  I’m going to drink, I’m going to play bingo.

I’ll probably win.

I look over at Di’s cards.  Despite having won an earlier game, she has been suspiciously quiet.

I stare at her until she notices.  “What now?” she says, looking around.  “Who?  What’d I miss?”

I laugh. 

“Go ahead,” she sighs, pulling deeply on a Bloody Mary.  “I may have over-indulged over the weekend.  Any abuse you want to mete out, I accept.”

“G-48,” the woman on the mic calls.  “G four eight.”

Di pulls a toothpick full of olives out of her drink, passes it to me.  “There may even be pictures of me dancing,” she says, shaking her head.  “I can’t imagine…”

I pop her unwanted olives into my mouth.  I’ve known Diana for eight years.  I’ve not seen her dance once.

I would very much like to see these photos.

“I-21,” the woman on the mic says.  “I two one.”

I daub frantically at my cards.

“Bingo!” shouts one of the many drunks at the table next to us.  “No, wait.  Just kidding.”

The table laughs uproariously with an intensity and decibel level normally found just moments before a certain ball drops in Times Square.  The crowded table has a median age of maybe 24, and the last hour or so has been devoted to loud displays of blurtings of the obvious and clich├ęd sexual innuendo.

One can only imagine how I came to dread the call of “O-69”. 

“Ah cain’t wait ‘til those kids shut up,” mutters the elderly woman that has joined us at our table.   Her cards laid out in front of her, she adjusts them after each called number, lining them up perfectly.  She picks up her diet Coke with gnarled arthritic fingers.  “Gawd.”

“B-12,” the woman calls.

“Shots!” the guy with two full sleeves of tattoos calls out.  “B-12 means shots!  We need shots!”

The table erupts into thigh-slapping laughter.  It’s the second time this has come up tonight, but that B-12 comment never gets old.

I concentrate on my cards.  The game this time around is “kite” – four in a corner with a diagonal line leading to it.  I smile.  I like when there’s a little challenge to it.  I pick up my dauber, a bright blue piece of work I have a good feeling about.  I smile with satisfaction at the growing “kite” in front of me.  By golly, these cards are really shaping up…

I look up. 

I am literally and figuratively seated half-way between semi-unconscious drunken nuisance and semi-cranky crone.

And I smile again.


Things are progressing nicely.

22 comments:

Delores said...

Bingo!

Geo. said...

On the cards, in the room, between distinctive personalities, I love the emergence of patterns here.

jenny_o said...

And you are at the optimal spot between those: wiser but funner.

As always, nice writing, Pearl!

Shelly said...

Bingo is serious bidness, especially down here. At the rate their attention spans were fading, I predict you were the winner by a handy margin.

joeh said...

O-69 Tee Hee Tee Hee!

Leenie B said...

Somehow inebriation and SERIOUS Bingo concentration don't seem to go together. Using Bingo as a challenge to see who can still concentrate DOES work.

bill lisleman said...

too much number calling in bingo.
could you use olives instead of a dauber?

jabblog said...

I hope your numbers came up . . . in a good way, of course.

Joanne Noragon said...

I won a little glass kitty the last time I played bingo, sitting on my grandma's lap at a picnic table at a family reunion.

Pearl said...

I remember playing Bingo with my grandma. She won the coverall -- $200! -- and slept with it under her pillow. She was so nervous that she was awake before the sun rose and waiting outside the bank when it opened. :-)

Mitchell is Moving said...

Those obnoxious kids are taking their chances. Many people take BINGO seriously, and I wouldn't want to mess with those BINGO gangs.

Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point said...

I played bingo for the first time ever at a casino last summer. It was the most stressful two hours of my life.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
hmmmmm, bingo, booze... brogressionnn.. hic! err. Okay.

YAM xx

Jono said...

I would be seriously disabled after two or three whatevers. I can barely concentrate when totally sober.

Daisy said...

Ah, we all have our place, don't we? :D

NotesFromAbroad said...

Well, all I can say is , your Bingo people are a hell of a lot more interesting than any of mine .
luv

Elephant's Child said...

Oooh. Is there a sequel? I DO hope so.

River said...

My mum was a bingo fan and went every week. I never saw the attraction. She'd say wait and see, when you get to be 50 and the kids are gone, you'll play bingo. 50 for me is long gone and I still don't see the attraction, maybe when I'm 80.

the walking man said...

MY goodness Pearl you are a woman of many talents, skills and brains. get everyone around you drunk or cranky and increase your chances. Let's go rob a bank together--you do all the planning.

Linda O'Connell said...

Hate to think how crazy I could be if I drank and played, because completely sober, I want to choke the person who shouts BINGO!

Launna said...

I am sure I wouldn't be able to focus on the bingo cards if I was drinking... kudos to you Pearl... :)

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Bingo with special drinking rules could be a good time...