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Friday, January 17, 2014

Every Day I’m Learnin’

I sold more words the other day. 

Tasty, informative words.

It was all in English, of course, although not my English.

So I rounded up all my zeds, threw in a couple “u”s where there are usually none, and managed to squeeze out more than 4,000 saleable words on credit cards, chequebooks, and the overall need for a household budget.

It took over 20 hours to pull it together in a way I liked. 

Blimey.

And when I was done – and after stretching out on the floor and moaning, “Why me?  Why?” for a couple of minutes – I sat up with a song in my eye and a gleam in my heart.

I would create my own budget.

A spreadsheet all my own. 

Expenditures?  I’ve always paid my bills on time, despite what those nasty people at the student loan offices will tell you.

But keeping track of what I make, and every dollar I spend?

Wait – does this mean that I should account for the jars of coins I’ve got buried in the backyard?  What about the cash I’ve taped to the underside of kitties?

Just kidding.  That’s not where the money is.  Everyone knows that all available monies are kept in the underwear drawer, below the undies one doesn’t care for but can’t throw away but atop the restraining orders.

And so I sat on the couch the other day, laid everything out in an Excel document: the bills, the income, the savings. 

I had a plate of nachos.

I drank three cans of Fresca.

And I built some rolling, rollicking formulas that run from month to month. 


These I’m-being-paid-to-write jobs are paying off in all kinds of ways.

23 comments:

Shelly said...

Just gotta say...I'm so happy fer ya!!! 2014 is going to be one for the ages.

Delores said...

Good for you....both for the sale and the sudden budgetary insight.

Perpetua said...

I'm impressed, pearl

Indigo Roth said...

Can I borrow a ten-spot 'til payday, please?

Perpetua said...

Oops, I was knocking crumbs out of my keyboard and inadvertently posted a half-written comment. :-) What I meant to say was I'm impressed, Pearl, and glad not only about the new money coming in but the fact that now you'll know how much there is and where it is. I need to take lessons.....

Daisy said...

... and you learned how to spell properly! You Americans! "Zeee" instead of "Zed", and dropping the "u" that "everyone" KNOWS belongs right there, at the end of "flavour".

joeh said...

I hope you make a lot of ezed mouney!

Launna said...

Are you Canadian Pearl? ... I ask because you said Zed.... I always say Zee as my mom was American ;-)

Leenie B said...

Having an affinity for words does occasionally come in handy--along with being able to type and wrangle a few computer programs.

I'm wondering what kind of tape you use to stick envelopes to kitties. I've heard of putting scotch tape on kitty paws and glow stick circles around middles to watch Cat Disco in the dark. But we've NEVER done that. Ahem.....

BLissed-Out Grandma said...

So apparently your 4,000 salable words, or a portion thereof, were quite persuasive. Good for you!

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
Living the dream... or is it the hype? Either way, 'tis good! YAM xx

jenny_o said...

The post AND the comments are cracking me up :)

And you have given me reason to look forward to going to work - for the rollicking, rollicking formulas! LOL

Daisy said...

Your words were so convincing you convinced yourself! :D I'm happy for you Pearl, that you are being paid for your writing.

Elephant's Child said...

Congratulations.

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

I did the same thing a few months ago. My budget says I can live 8 more years (however meagerly) if the government or the health care system doesn't get me sooner. It is good to know that I can outlive my cats.

River said...

There's monies under the undies? Lemme go check....nope, nuthin' there, I must be living in the wrong house.
Is this the first time you've done yourself a budget??
It really is the best way to keep track of incomings and outgoings and if you make sure one of your outgoings includes an amount, however small, to savings, you'll be okay in a few years with a small nest egg.

Beach Bum said...

Everyone knows that all available monies are kept in the underwear drawer...

First of all keeping money in the underwear drawer is the first place kids and possible crooks look. The trick is to hide your money in a specially designed DIRTY underwear hamper, which of course is clearly labeled.

Wait – does this mean that I should account for the jars of coins I’ve got buried in the backyard?

Secondly, when I was about eight or nine I buried one of my Granddad's quart-sized Mason jar filled with pennies. I don't know why, I was in a pirate frame of mind and figured I would make a map, after the fact, and go dig it back up. Long story short, forgot where I buried the jar. Granddad was not a happy camper.

esbboston said...

Writing? No, I'm not making any dinero doing that yet, but I am making some removing unwanted vinyl away from the desired and roboticaLLy placing colored thread, snip snip. On the side I am trying to write a song inspired by your money taped kittens bellies picture in my mind. I am thinking it is too early in the day for alcohol ethyl.

Al Penwasser said...

The best thing about "zed" is that it's great in Scrabble. Then again, so is "zee."

ellen abbott said...

well, yay for you. I love it when people can live from stuff that comes out of their heads and hands. it's a roller coaster of a life though as I speak from experience. anyway. cash around here is kept in an envelope on the high shelf but I'm not telling which envelope or which high shelf.

HermanTurnip said...

Ah, the trials and tribulations of the paid writer. How I envy you! I wish I could sell a word or three...

Jocelyn said...

I got kind of pulled off point when you had three Frescas.

Mmmmmmm. Fresca.

the walking man said...

Misspelled words the way to fame and fortune and spreadsheets the road to insanity.