I've contributed to perhaps the best humor compilation I've ever read. Available now on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Friday, December 20, 2013

I’ve Been Selling My Words Lately. I Thought You Should Know.

You’ll probably want to sit down for this.

You comfy?

I’ve been writing on the side.

Cheating on you.

It’s not the same, of course. They want to hear about things to do in Daytona Beach, nutritious root-vegetable recipes for those frosty-aired days in January, and the reason your commitment to quit smoking in the new year is really going to work this time. 

Frankly, I feel cheap.

Until the money transfers, that is.

Hey, I see you there, imaging all the zeroes.  Hot and cold running peppermint schnapps, heated electric couches, fur-lined moustache cups.  I’m thinking of having my elbows polished Tuesday, just because I can.

Look.  The offer came up, polite conversation, yah-de-yah.  Certain questions were posed, certain answers proffered, and the next thing you know, you’ve got a 24-hour deadline in front of you and you’re staring blankly out a window scrubbing your mind for different ways to describe vacation settings.

Honestly, it’s fabulous work.

Paid to write!  You may not know this to look at me, but I can sling the old word song.  I write just for fun.  I make notes in cookbooks (Willie eats this by the handful!) and leave notes for myself in my pockets (Do you know why six is afraid of seven?)

I write for my own amusement.

But when called upon to write about 12 Healthful Tips for the Dog Park, I, sir, answer the call.


People ask me, “What do you do?” and I always tell them that I’m a writer.  

And what does a writer do? 


She writes, even if it means 24-hour turnaround times.

46 comments:

Simply Suthern said...

You can sling the odd word here and there. Congrats if someone will pay you for it. Two Thumbs up.

Indigo Roth said...

Shameless! I love it! Tho I may impose my own 24 deadlines (unpaid) for chapters of your book, mind. You know, because you've said you can do it...

Indigo Roth said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Pearl said...

Simply, a gal's gotta eat. :-)

Indigo, I said I would, and I shall. Cats? Bus rides? A little of everything? I'm feeling expansive.

joeh said...

Whore!

Pearl said...

Joe! :-) LOL

Camille said...

Imagine...getting paid to do something you love. Fabulous! Go Pearl.

Delores said...

Getting paid for writing is a GOOD thing...a VERY good thing. Just don't let it cut into your blogging time lol.

Silliyak said...

I'm not sure where else to share this. Perhaps one of your cats knows something or someone, or perhaps it will come in handy in a writing assignment. Last night a dream ended when a british animal control officer picked up a cat named...."Mrs Chicken" I spent the rest of the night trying to remember that so I could share it with SOMEONE. The mind is a terrible thing.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

Your words are worth every penny :)

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Money for words sounds like a good deal to me.

Jayne Martin said...

Good for you, Pearl! And they're lucky to have you. :)

Brian Miller said...

nice...i'd love to be paid to write full time...i sold two short stories earlier this week...made some pocket change....feels good...smiles.

vanilla said...

Excellent!

Pearl said...

Yes, thank you everyone. Now if I can make it full time -- or even, like Brian, sell a story or two...

Sure the public is dying for tales of cat smart-assery and my thoughts on the State of the Bus Ride!

Dawn@Lighten Up! said...

Gasp! Paid? To write? In the immortal words of Tigger, "Can you imagine-ate such a thing?"
Congrats, lady - that's awesome!

fishducky said...

"Sure the public is dying for tales of cat smart-assery and my thoughts on the State of the Bus Ride!" I KNOW I AM!!

jenny_o said...

Woo hoo! Congratulations!

Here's a healthful tip for the dog park: don't bring raw meat for your elevenses.

Perpetua said...

Good for you, Pearl. I you can get paid for what you do so well for fun, it would be mad to turn it down. I simply can't write to order and admire those who can. Keep it up.

Buttons said...

You are indeed a writer Pearl and I love that because I am a reader. Congratulations. Happy Holidays. B

Daisy said...

That's wonderful, Pearl! Good for you. You are a wonderful writer and deserve to be paid for it. :)

Elephant's Child said...

So yet more people are hanging from your every word. It is getting a bit crowded, but wonderful.
Happy writing.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari Om
....having gone through to dark green and returned... I am smiling broadly for you - you grinning broad!! Seriously, that is fantastic news and long may it continue. YAM xx

Joanne Noragon said...

This is good news; cream all around.

Gigi said...

Those folks are no fools - they know a great writer when they see one!

CONGRATS! I'm so happy for you.

Geo. said...

Good news. Excellence deserves reward. Very happy for you!

Hilary said...

Ah good for you. I actually thought you already did write for profit. I didn't realize that up until now, it was only your readers who benefited. Congrats. :)

sage said...

I (along with your banker) am glad to know that your unfaithfulness to us is profiting your bottom line. Oh yeah, the IRS is also tickled pink! Seriously, congratulations!

The Geezers said...

Good for you, my local compatriot. Take pains to keep it fun, though; you'll be surprised how quickly being paid for language skills can turn it into work.

Nessa Locke said...

I wouldn't know whether to laugh or cry...

Robbie Grey said...

You...you've been cheating on me? Me?!? But, baby, pookie-honeylamb, I thought we had something special.

Fucking woman...

The Dancing Donkey said...

Congratulations, you certainly deserve it.

Jen said...

Hey, congratulations. You're living the dream.

Rose L said...

Wish someone would pay me to write! I help friends with editing of their writing for free (am told I spot errors a mile away!)!
You lucky writer you!!!

River said...

Short conversation ending with a 24 hour deadline! I would fail and monumentally at that.
You, on the other hand, have got what it takes. The ability to sling a word or three onto a page and have it come out sweet.
Congratulations.

The Chicken's Consigliere said...

Can't say I'm surprised, Pearl. If you need some root vegetable recipes, call Chicken, y'hear? I can probably help out with that smoking program thing, too. I know things. Things you could write about.

Murr Brewster said...

Damn! Real money? We gwine throw you out of the union.

Pauline said...

Nice work if you can get it :)

the walking man said...

Cool when you have whatever done to your elbows can I come along and get a feel for the hallelujah glory of being a working writer? You know I would even gather up the sanded skin and sell it on e-bay!

Daisy said...

Congratulations, Pearl! :-)

Launna said...

I agree Pearl a writer writes :)


Merry Christmas :)

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

Selling your words is better than selling your body and safer too, congrats on getting paid for your words.........no one would pay me for mine not that I say much......

Kymbo Whitford said...

Im stunned, how could you....

ThreeOldKeys said...

i hope you are allowed to sprinkle some pearls of Pearl into your writing-for-hire.

congrats and merry Christmas!

Diane Tolley said...

Sooo . . . ummm . . . Pearl, How can I get in on this?! :)

Suldog said...

Congratulations! Obviously, somebody aside from myself thinks you should be showered with gold coin (or, at least silver and copper coin.)