I've contributed to perhaps the best humor compilation I've ever read. Available now on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Monday, December 23, 2013

I’ll Never See Them Again, But They Have My Fervent Best Wishes

I managed to hurt both wrists this weekend in a paid-to-clean-with-Mary extravaganza.  That house is clean -- although I forgot the bleach I like to add to the water for that "hey, do you smell a pool?" touch -- buy I need to stay off my hands for a bit.

Please enjoy:  A little something from December of 2011.

There is a couple in front of me, waiting for the elevator.  They know each other well and have for some time, you can see it, somehow, in the way they stand next to each other. 

They are together.

She leans into him, and he puts an arm around her, runs his hand up the outside of her winter coat’s sleeve and pulls her close.  She rests her head on his shoulder, looks up at him and smiles.


The elevator doors open, and the three of us step in.

We stare ahead, politely.

“I want to tell someone,” she says to him.

“It’s too early,” he says.

“Still,” she says.  “I’ll burst if I don’t tell someone.”

I turn to face them.  The woman looks at me and smiles.

“You can tell me,” I say.

“We’re pregnant!” they shout.  And I don’t know this couple, this smiling, hand-holding couple, and yet goosebumps go up on my arms.

“Congratulations – wait, we’re happy about this, yes?!” I smile, to show I’m joking, that of course we are happy.

“Oh, yes,” and they are talking, the both of them, at once.  “We’ve been trying for a while now – we want this baby so much – we’re so happy.”

“How far along are you?” I ask. “You look fantastic.”

“Six weeks,” she says, and a blush arises from the both of them.

“A summer baby!  Plenty of time to tell people!” I enthuse.  “Do you have a nursery?”

And for the next five floors, they tell me about the nursery, about the grandparents-to-be who will be so excited.

The doors to the elevator open on the ground floor.  He puts his arm around her, guides her out the door.  “Merry Christmas!” the man says.  “Merry Christmas,” she says.  She steps away from him, reaches out her hand to me.  I take it.

“Merry Christmas,” I say, and tears come to both of our eyes.

“And a Happy New Year,” she whispers.


Indigo Roth said...

And, d'you know what? They named their little girl Pearl.

vanilla said...

Still a great story. Nothing like a sympathetic stranger for the too-early-to-tell news for acquaintances. Pearl is good people.

jenny_o said...

This was lovely and still is. Tears all around!

Perpetua said...

So sorry about the wrists, Pearl, but thank you for this touchingly beautiful story. Happy Christmas.

Dawn@Lighten Up! said...

loved it again, Pearlie! Merry Christmas!!

Sioux said...

BOTH wrists? Did Mary push you in an Elaine Benes "get-out-of-here" moment?

The second serving of this post was sweet. I remember it from when you originally offered it up, but it's a story about such a cute couple, I enjoyed it again.

Hopefully someone will spoil you while your wrists heal. Someone needs to dip chips into your Hidden Valley Torte and feed you, so you can sustain your strength...

Anonymous said...

Brought tears to my eyes the first time...dang if it didn't do it again. I do hope your wrists heal quickly Pearl...you had such trouble the last time. Healing thoughts headed your way.

Merlesworld said...

Just think you were the very first to know.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari Om
Oh the joy...'tis the season. ...and for Love of Pete, Pearl, rest them wristies over the festivies!!!

Huge hugs and Love with the capital 'ell', YAM xxx

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

What a place to deposit their joy! You took care of it in a special way here.

Gigi said...

I think this is one of my very, very favorites and yes, it always brings a tear to my eye.

Merry Christmas, Pearl! Hopefully Santa will bring you pain relief.

Elephant's Child said...

Mistiness of the eyes here.
Look after your important self - and Happy Christmas.

Launna said...

Awe this is sweet Pearl, I loved it :)

The Geezers said...

Very nice piece. I'm glad you reprised it.

And I hope your wrists heal up nicely.

Linda O'Connell said...

Get that wrist action going soon. Healing thoughts. I accosted the first person I saw and showed her my granddaughter's ultra sound on the parking lot. I get it!

Daisy said...

Hope your wrist(s) are soon in good condition again Pearl

This is a marvelous story - that child is 2 yrs old now. Wonder how they all are. May happiness invade their lives always.

Merry Christmas to all!

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

Ok I hope your wrists are ok and I like that pool smell you get from bleach at times. Well it is Christmas Eve here and I had to venture out to the shops this morning but not going out again today. I hope you have a bloody great Christmas

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

A very special five floor ride. I bet they will never forget you,

Have a wonderful Christmas, Pearl.

River said...

I remember this and it made me smile just as much now as it did then.
Hope the wrists recover soon. Look after them.

the walking man said...

So two Saturdays ago my son was finishing up his final electronics project with a robot competition. My wife went and as she wandered around the halls f the university she bumped into my sons professor who introduced himself asked who her kid was ...you know the usual formalities.

Then he says "So are you excited?"

Wife: "Sort of robots are interesting"

Prof: "No about the baby"

Wife: "John has acted like this robot was his baby?"

Prof: "OOPS I think I may have let the cat out of the bag."

Wife: "Are you saying Dao (his wife) is pregnant?"

Prof: "Oh you didn't know?"

Wife "nope but don't worry about it, he didn't tell us until 8/7/08 that he was getting married on 08/08/08."

Prof: "Well the competition is out this way."

Silliyak said...

I heard this and at some point thought of you and your dad's love of drumming. http://youtu.be/4UOp4ZZZJDQ

Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point said...

That is a fantastic little tale. Happy holidays! Hope your wrists feel better soon.

Diane Tolley said...

I want to know exactly what you were doing (while cleaning) that injured both of your wrists. I may need the information some day . . .
Seriously, though, get well soon. We've had a taste of what life would be like without Pearl. Not good. Not good at all!

maurcheen said...

Damn you Pearl but you made this man's eyes moist!

Nollaig Shona a chara! :¬)


Geo. said...

Best wishes mon cher flâneuse!

Daisy said...

Aw, tears here too. :) Merry Christmas to you and yours, Pearl. I hope you had a wonderful day today.

sage said...

We're pregnant, that's a miracle isn't it! Wonder how he handled it :)