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Friday, November 1, 2013

That's a Lovely Free Chair You Have There

I must be stronger than I look.

This is something that I reflect upon whilst grappling with one end of a wardrobe.  Made somewhere around 1904, it’s better constructed, heavier, than most cars.  Roughly nine feet tall and four, maybe  feet wide, perhaps three feet deep, it once housed clothes, boots, a secret passage to Narnia.
Willie has retrofitted it to hold his CDs, all 1200 of them which are now lying, alphabetically, on the floor in another room.

All we have to do is move this wooden behemoth from one end of the house to the other.

I close my eyes, just for a moment.  The day has been an endurance test.  Still reeling from last night’s Halloween party, I’ve managed to feed and dress myself.  I have not, however, bothered retouching my hair (carefully wrapped/preserved from the night before) or makeup. 

Grunting, my mind starts running through all the items that have been moved.

You see, there’s a new couch.  And a La-Z-Boy.  And an entertainment center.

Not that we don’t have all those things.  We do.  They were free, they were old.  The couch in particular was a leather, Caucasian-tinted hand-me-down, a color many of my friends and relatives – especially in the mid-winter months – could not sit on without disappearing almost entirely. 

Was it just an hour ago, my hands then splinter-free, that we had taken a door off its hinges, wrestled a large, square club chair and ottoman down a flight of steps and out the front, where it was abandoned, a large sign - “FREE!” - taped to it?

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” Willie had said.  “I don’t like the idea of leaving it in the yard here.”

“RAwRRRrrr grrr ackle rawr,” I said.

Willie stared at me.  “You’re not the only one, you know.”

“GrrRarrrr acker rawr rawr,” I point out.

“Fine,” he said. 

A car slows down at this point. 

And then another car.

And another.

“Hmm!” Willie said, smiling.  “Looks like this is going to work anyway!  Look at all the people slowing down to get a look at it!”

And that was an hour ago.  Now, on the second floor, Willie and I tussle with the wardrobe.  Akin to moving an undrained waterbed, we are both sweating, both making interesting, perhaps feral noises.

“Just another few feet,” Willie says, “and this wave will be done.”

And the light bulb went off in my head.

And I begin to laugh.  I have to set my end down.

Willie smiles, rests, too.  “What’s so funny?”

“The cars!” I say.  “All those cars slowing down!”

Willie frowns.

I shake my head.  “They weren’t slowing down because of the awesome chair,” I say. 

And then he realizes, too.

The chair, by the way, is gone by morning.


Dawn@Lighten Up! said...

Ba Ha Ha Haaaaaaaaaa!!

Delores said...

If you don't want it anymore leave it on the curb....that is our mantra here as well....someone will take it...no matter what IT is. But oh yes....I don't think they were stopping to look at the awesome chair...they were looking at awesome Pearl.

Shelly said...

The tunnel bun is the absolute bomb. How much spray/product did it take to keep it in place?

And this, "The couch in particular was a leather, Caucasian-tinted hand-me-down, a color many of my friends and relatives – especially in the mid-winter months – could not sit on without disappearing almost entirely," made me laugh so hard and unexpectedly I am still recovering from it.

Indigo Roth said...

Loooooove the hair! <3

Simply Suthern said...

Cindy Lou Who

Leenie said...

I'm with Simply Southern. How often does one see Cindy Loo Who pushing furniture to the curb? Now all you have to do is put all 1200 CD's back in place--in alphabetical order.

joeh said...

If you squint real hard, there is a little surfer dude in that doo.

Launna said...

Haha... cute doo Pearl... ;-)

Pearl said...

This was from a party last weekend. That hair-do lasted for almost three full days. :-)

ellen abbott said...

hee hee. Pearl, ya gotta give me the name of your hairdresser.

and ya, the curb is like a portal to somewhere else.

vanilla said...

Woot! Woo!

Me-Me King said...

I drug an old sofa out one day and when I returned just minutes later with the cushions, it was gone! BTW, I'm digging your up-do!

jenny_o said...

I think that Hallowe'en party deserves a post of its very, very own.

Buttons said...

That is so weird I have that same wardrobe but I am jealous mine does NOT go to Narnia it goes to Barnia:)
I can see that hair would stop traffic. B

Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point said...

Not awesome chair. Awesome hair.

Joanne Noragon said...

That was some party! Will the do do the weekend.

Daisy said...

Hair worth stopping for! LOL!

Elephant's Child said...

Big, big smiles.

Sioux said...

It only lasted 3 days? From the amount of hairspray/product I imagine was involved, I was thinking it would last for 3 WEEKS.

Very chic. I think it's a 'do you should switch to. ;)

Gigi said...

Actually, I think there needs to be a tutorial on how to do that 'do!

ThreeOldKeys said...

hey pearl -- oh wait I think Hawaii 5-0 might be on.

yeah, gotta run. surf's up!

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM


YAM xx

River said...

To move a piece of furniture heavier than most cars you need a dolly (hand truck) and a couple of burly muscle men willing to take payment in beer. Sit back and watch them move it. Much less stressful.
That's an interesting hairdo, what costume goes with that?

Kymbo Whitford said...

Awesome is right..great Doo..

Rose L said...

LOL Now THAT'S a hairdo!!! Next time you go to Narnia, can I come, too???

Daisy said...

Ahahahaha! Oh Pearl, you really are a gem! :D Thank you for the laugh today, and that hairdo is absolutely AWESOME!!

HermanTurnip said...


Yeah, I'm guilty of picking up a pair if speakers that sported the infamous "Free!" sign on 'em. Unfortunately I didn't have your awesome do.

Judy said...

I would have slowed down, too!!!
And called a couple of male friends to help with the wardrobe...