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Monday, October 7, 2013

The Third Round Involves Answering Using Helium Balloons

I’ve got a great idea for a game show, one I’ve patterned on my life and the lives of the people around me. I’m quite sure that this is, as we say in Minnesota, a “big wiener”, so we should probably hug and say our good-byes now, as I expect I’ll soon be hounded by TV execs and find myself at parties sipping tiny margaritas out of Johnny Depp’s navel...

I'm sorry. Where was I?

Oh, yes. The game show.

You ready? Here it comes.

The show is called “They Never Saw It Coming”. The premise is that of the people in the room, at least one of them is lying to you – can you tell which one? Each segment of the show has a definite, solid clue in it as to what you should do or who you can trust. The whole show lies in observation, with each level or segment taking you to the “center” where you are given a change to win Big Money based on a question that should be answerable from the previous situations/questions.

It starts out easy, of course. All you have to do is observe. Look at that man’s shifty eyes! Why does he seem nervous? And why does that woman laugh at everything you say? You’re not that funny. Check your purse – is your wallet still in it?

So what would be an example of an easy first round?

“Excuse me, ma’am? Do you have fifty cents? My kids are hungry, and I want to take them to McDonald’s.”

Now why is this an easy question?

Because no man should be approaching me to feed his kids, especially at McDonald’s. Offer the man an apple and walk away. Next question.

You’ve received a call from the mechanic working on your car. He needs your credit card as it seems that part of your problem is that you are low on blinker fluid and you’re going to need your head gasket rotated. Oh, and you see that? Under the hood and behind that pulley there? Those reluctors are ready to go out and MAN are they tough to replace. Very sensitive instruments, those.

So what do you do?

If you wish to proceed to the next round, you tell him you’ll be by to pick up your car within the hour. Everyone knows that the problem is with the lug-nut gap. Besides, when's the last time you cleaned your windshield? That's going to affect performance as well.

It’ll take work, of course; but I think I’m on to a winner.

Now who wants to play “They Never Saw It Coming”?

23 comments:

Shelly said...

Wait. Now something tells me the emails I've been receiving from former first lady Madame Bellachamp of Nigeria promising me 1.76 million pounds in return for $20,000 to get her collection of gold plated 17th century shoes out of the local pawn shop may not be all it seems?

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari Om
oohh ooohh me me me I wanna play - Folk hate it when I call their bluff - this would legitimise me.

Wait a minute though. I recall a game show when I was younger called Call My Bluff..... Don't give up. You're definitely onto something here. &*> YAM xx

Delores said...

Blinker fluid you say? I'm in...I think I might actually be good at this game.

joeh said...

I would be very bad at this game, I believe everything. BTW you should not allow your cats to smoke in the house.

Joanne Noragon said...

I play this game with a vicious delight. I wait until you have gone down to the last detail, then go back to the beginning of the argument and start explaining your lapse in logic. Or intelligence. Or, I just drive the car away, or hang up on you. I'm not from Minnesota, so I don't always have to be nice.

Buttons said...

Johnny Depp (drool) sorry Pearl did you say something?:) B

Douglas said...

In the Navy, one quickly learns to disbelieve virtually anything said by a shipmate... it usually only takes a couple of requests to run to engineering to get some relative bearing grease or an order to recharge the sound powered phones.

Busy Bee Suz said...

Everyone knows you can't get anything for 50 cents at McDonalds.

I Just had my blinker fluid replaced last week...whew, that was a close one.

Sign me up.

Geo. said...

Does Johnny Depp not have enough cups in his house? What about toasts? You'd have to lift him up and clink him against other peoples' drinks. This would attract tv viewers too!

Daisy said...

Sounds like a winner to me! I'll be saying I knew her when... :D

jenny_o said...

I think all voters should have to get at least to the fifth level in order to cast their ballots.

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

I think this game is played more often than Angry Birds, Pearl.

Elephant's Child said...

I do like jenny_o's suggestion. Fun - and a community service rolled into one. You are on a winner here - until the politicians find out about it...

Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point said...

I get my blinker fluid changed every 3 months. I do like a smooth blink.

HermanTurnip said...

It's those damned reluctors and the zoozits that are always causing me problems at the mechanics...

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

An interesting game idea but I would have thought what a contestant wouldn't see coming is the ice down the back of their pants when they get the answer wrong.......

Rose L said...

Hmmmm...I probably would not do too well as I like to think people are mostly good. Thus I have been duped far too many times.
Oh, and did you know that we are running out of helium?

Indigo Roth said...

I've been sent a water bill, and it's clearly from your new show. Standing Charge? Usage Charge? I mean, there's even a Cover Charge for putting lids on all the sewer manholes. Pffft I say, pffft!

River said...

Oh no! Count me out. I'm completely clueless with body language, the entire world could be lying straight in my face and I wouldn't know. Do I get a booby prize for that?

Chicken said...

I'm in. If I win, can I drink tiny margaritas, too? Just in a glass, though. I'm not as adventurous as you.

Mitchell is Moving said...

I think I'd be good at this. Another thing about the guy who wants to take his kids to McDonalds... 50 cents? Try $20!

Forget those tiny margaritas. Johnny Depp's naval lint doesn't taste any better than anyone else's. I've tried.

Linda O'Connell said...

Oh Johnny Depp's navel...and those reluctors...you can spin a yarn.

Pat Tillett said...

I'd love to play this game, because I've learned a lot because of my first wife.