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Thursday, October 10, 2013

Our Little Liza Bean is Growing Up; or The Bail Money’s in the Flour Jar


Once again, the money I’ve been saving to remodel the bathroom will have to be used for reparations.

These things happen when a kitty turns eight.

A wee, striped cat of the (mostly) domesticated variety, once allowed to smoke on the bus because she had, indeed, “brought enough for everyone”, an animal already preparing this Thanksgiving’s Turrabster (a hamster stuffed into a rabbit stuffed into a turkey), Liza Bean Bitey, of the Minneapolis Biteys, turned eight Tuesday night.

This year’s celebratory pub slink – the cat-equivalent of the traditional pub crawl – had started from the alley.

It had been Monday night that Liza Bean had slid into the room, jumped to the couch where I was sitting, and sat... 

“I’m not sure I should come along this year,” I say.  “I’m more mature now, and –“

The cat holds up a silent paw, closes her eyes.  “Say no more, my good woman.  I’ll not hear another word.  If you think I’ll let you stay here, on a glorious Tuesday night, reading –“ she pauses, clears her tiny throat, a sound indicative of both her delicate constitution and her revulsion at my turning down a night on the town – “Sookie Stackhouse novels, you’ve failed, utterly failed, as both a cat person and a person in general.”

I stare at her face until she opens her eyes.

Cats hate that.

Her eyes shine like a teenager’s dreams.  “What?” she says.

“Guilt?” I say.  “You’re going to guilt me into getting drunk with you?”

She smiles.  “My dear, what better way to start the evening?”

I sigh.  “It’s a Tuesday night.  A school night.”

Liza Bean grins, two rows of gleaming, tiny teeth glint under the living room’s floor lamp.  She leaps to the coffee table, presses her face toward mine.

“No one has school tonight, Pearl,” she whispers.  “Besides, maybe in the morning – who knows? – maybe you have a slight fever in the morning – nothing serious, no! – but maybe you call in, stay home and make your favorite kitty that mouse-ends-and-bird-bit omelet we’ve been talking about?”

And now I’m smiling.

I do feel a bit feverish…

27 comments:

Shelly said...

I hope Dolly Gee gets to go and is not left home playing with her string...

joeh said...

I follow lots of blogs, I read them all. Yours is one of four or five which I always head for first.

Short, and always original and entertaining.

Daisy said...

Happy Birthday Lisa Bean!

Pearl said...

Shelly, I can't recall if Dolly was there or not... I'll have to check the pictures. :-)

joeh, that's so nice!! And "short" is, seriously, what I go for.

Pearl said...

Daisy, I shall let her know that you remembered her on her birthday. :-)

Indigo Roth said...

Hey Pearl! Belated etcs to the dear kitteh. I should slink more, tho honestly I'm not sure I'm built for it. Loom? Sure. Easy. Roth x

Delores said...

How can you resist a cat when 'her eyes shine like a teenagers dream'? You KNOW you want to go.

Pearl said...

Indigo, Loomers are also welcome!

Delores, it'll get ya every time.
:-)

The Geezers said...

Very nicely written....for a crazy cat lady.

Pearl said...

The Geezer, thank you. :-) Wait. What?

LOL

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
...(hic**#)... trust the fever was of temporary duration...

YAM xx

jenny_o said...

Will that omelet recipe make it to your "Family Recipes With Running Commentary" book, I wonder?

Plus, what joeh said. First and mandatory read, every day.

Pearl said...

Yam, oh, I was much better by noon. :-)

Jenny_o, that makes me smile. Thank you.

On another note, has anyone seen June Edwards? I don't know how to find her...

The Chicken's Consigliere said...

HB LB I sense there is more to this story. I agree with Josh and Jenny!

Jinksy said...

Mouse-ends-and-bird-bit omelet? No wonder you fell feverish! LOL

Joanne Noragon said...

Eight. Oh me oh my. Easy to have a good time with a kitty along.

Susan Kane said...

I bet you skipped school on a regular basis??

Elephant's Child said...

Mostly domesticated? Only when, and only as far as it suits her. Which is a lot of her charm.

Lo said...

BD greetings to Liza Bean.
I have recently been adopted by a cat who looks a lot like LB, but she doesn't drink, doesn't smoke and doesn't talk. I guess she is not of the Minneapolis Bities. She is hell on wheels though if you dangle a fether on a string in front of her......
I love you Pearl.

Rosemary Nickerson said...

I wonder how life would be in your house if a dog moved in????

vanilla said...

Pleased to offer good wishes on the birthday of Ms. Bitey!

River said...

Happy Birthday to Liza Bean and I say go ahead and celebrate, she only has one birthday per year.

HOOTIN ANNI said...

....and I missed out?!!!! I coulda gone and had some whip-snappin' fun too. That's why they call it TOOsday.

the walking man said...

A good remedy for that kind of fever is hair if the dog.

Daisy said...

I'm afraid that Liza Bean may be a bad influence on you, Pearl. :D

Diane Tolley said...

Happy B-Day to our Liza Bean! Of course she doesn't need my good wishes with eyes like those . . .

Jayne Martin said...

Bar-hopping with you and Liza Bean? Count me in! :)