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Wednesday, October 9, 2013

And Don’t Forget to Tune in Tomorrow When Pearl Makes Pithy Observations re: Migrating Geese

Just like that, and in a fashion true to Minnesota and her inconsistencies, the weather has made me a liar.

I spoke yesterday – to anyone who would listen, frankly – about my feelings regarding the turning of the seasons, of the darkening skies, of the fact that the time we will spend naked between now and, say, May, has dwindled dramatically.

The temperature at the bus stop yesterday, after all, was 44 degrees.  Enough to get anyone excited.

Today’s rather non-autumnal temperature?

74.

It is here, by the way, that I should interject with a dramatic retelling of the blizzard of Some Much Earlier Year, wherein people, caught unaware by the storm, were forced to take refuge in the interior of oxen and those trapped in houses by unbudge-able doors were compelled to ration their chewing tobaccy, harsh times calling for harsh measures.

Shh.  You hear that? 

Someone has begun to hum The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.

It is a fact of life in these here parts that we are contractually obligated to discuss the weather (you’ll find it sandwiched there between the lines specifying that Cream of Mushroom soups must be in the pantry at all times and the part about all carbonated beverages being referred to as “pop”).

Look: when you’re subjected to a hundred-degree temperature differential in the course of a year, you’re allowed a certain amount of weather-related obsession.


Not to mention that, you know, it’s part of the contract.  

32 comments:

Shelly said...

Well, then it worked. I did my best to funnel some of our 90+ degree heat up there to you (or perhaps it's just some of the overflow of hot air from Congress making its way to you).

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
mmmmm - is it the balm before the storm then?... YAM xx

Daisy said...

It is in the Ohioan's contract to talk about the weather too. Some days it seems the entire nightly newscast is about it. :D And yes, the temperatures this fall have been a little wacky here too. I'm OK with the milder temps though. I'm in no big rush for the winter chill.

Simply Suthern said...

I wouldnt know how to start a conversation if it wernt for the weather.

Leenie said...

Yes, but you re READY. No MN blizzard will catch you bootless. That warm weather is just there to psych out the newbies.

Indigo Roth said...

And you know, NOBODY reads the small-print:

"In any given week, every Minnesotan may be required to wear bikini, jeans, or thermal leggins. All of them on the same day, if required."

Pearl said...

Shelly, LOL.

Yamini, very nice. The "balm" before the storm. Why I oughta...

Daisy, I don't mind the cold -- it's just how LONG it's cold. But these 70-degree days are lovely. All those jackets that don't get worn at any other time come out...

Simply, :-) And we're having an awful lot of it this year, aren't we?

Leenie, true dat! Just watch: there will be some pathetic creature on the bus this January in high heels. I only hope to be there when it happens...

Pearl said...

Indigo, I'm wearing all those things right now!

joeh said...

A cupboard without mushroom soup is an empty cupboard.

Rosemary Nickerson said...

Yup...up and out at 8 am, jacket, scarf, gloves, boots. By noon my shirt is sticking to my back and I've left a trail of clothes abandoned along my route thru the day. At 4pm I'm looking for additional layers and by 6 I'm shivering and looking blue around the edges. Autumn weather--gotta love it.

Pearl said...

joeh, I believe I have two as we speak...

Rosemary, you've pretty much described it! Am actually thinking of picking up another scarf. :-)

The Geezers said...

You've pegged the Minnesota zeitgeist for sure. Even on a beautiful day, the local TV news affliliates can be guaranteed to spend 10 minutes or so of a 30 minutes broadcast reminding you that there is weather outside.

I've never noticed any other culture where this is so prevalent.

My trick knee is telling me it will be an early, and long, winter, I'm afraid.

BLissed-Out Grandma said...

Conversation starters: Hot enough fer ya? And: Cold enough fer ya?

Robbie Grey said...

Sabina accuses me of being obsessed with weather because I keep track of highs, lows, and conditions in a little notebook by the 'puter. Hey, I like to know if I need a sweater.

Busy Bee Suz said...

74*? What I wouldn't give for 74*! For us wayyyy down south, that is Christmas day...and yeah, we love it. Doors/windows wide open. Of course, it only lasts a minute, but it's a great minute.
Wait, did you say you Pop cream of mushroom soup? You Minnasotians are weird.
:)

fishducky said...

I'm reminded of the comedian who said he had figured out why our cities are where they are. His theory: Our forefathers were gathered in a place where the temps go from absolute zero in winter to 500 degrees in summer. Someone would say, "OK, then. We're all agreed. Let's build a city HERE!!"

jenny_o said...

Our weather is changeable too, but on an hourly basis. The saying here is - if you don't like the weather, wait five minutes and it'll change. But at least that way everyone is happy some of the time!

Delores said...

I've already stocked up on the mushroom soup...no chewin' baccie though.

Christine said...

Each morning I send the kids off to school based on the weather the day before. It's a little game we like to play called, "Will I Freeze or Sweat Today?" Can't tell you how many times I've insisted they wear pants and sweatshirts because it was FREEZING the day before. Then, of course, they yell at me the moment school is out for how ridiculously HOT they are.
And mushroom soup rocks.

Buttons said...

Christine is a wise wise Mom:) B

Judy said...

The good thing about living in Centigrade is that the temperature extremes are closer together than in Farhenheit...

Elephant's Child said...

Making big fat liars (and whingers) out of us is what the weather does best.

Debbie said...

ooohhhhh, hehe....i thought it had something to do with menopause!!

but if not the weather, what would we talk about while waiting on line at the food store??

Jocelyn said...

I just decided this week I have to stop watching the weather forecast on the news because those well-intentioned bumblers are attempting to predict the unpredictable.

The Chicken's Consigliere said...

Yup,you are definitely entitled to talk about the weather. Yikes. I've seen some bad storms in my day, but haven't seen 20 foot drifts since the "big storm of 78", which is the one we like to talk about around here. You have a menu of storms to talk about.

HermanTurnip said...

Where you discuss the weather, it's customary around my parent's household to discuss why we're not having any more children. Ah...good times!

Jayne Martin said...

In California we have no weather. So on days like today, when it was cloudy with light showers we all stay indoors because we don't know how to behave.

River said...

Cream of Mushroom soups must be in the pantry at all times? ah geez, all I have is a tin of tomato soup. Hope I don't get fined. I'd be very happy with 74 degrees. All year round.

Linda O'Connell said...

The weather has been changing. 20 years ago I wore sweatshirts on
the pumpkin patch field trip. Today, lightweight shirt. My daughter was stranded in freak South Dakota blizzard last weekend.I say stock the pantry so I can carb up.

wellfedfred said...

Wait, migrating geese? I wish the damn plant-nibbling honkin s**t machines would migrate. They used to pass the East End of Long Island (a pretty stop on the Atlantic Flyway) spring and fall, and the great Vees in the sky were lovely to behold. Then they decided it wasn't worth the trouble to keep going to Canada and they colonized ponds and marshes. They are now our most useless land-based residents, next to druggy trust fund babies, that is. Oh, please, turn your attention to the geese and let 'em know what's what. Unless, of course, you find them charming little lawn-poisoners, in which case radio silence would be appreciated.

Launna said...

I am not looking forward to winter... but I am loving the fall. This weather is great for walking/jogging... my clothes don't stick to me and I get cooled of easier:)

Diane Tolley said...

We have the same contract! I'm stocked with mushroom soup. Let it snow!