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Sunday, August 11, 2013

Sorry - You've Got Something In Your Hair

One of the benefits of my hands and arms not being fully operational (what with the tendonitis and all) has been that the condition has left me plenty of room for quiet, reflective moments, time on the couch spent mulling over such monumental matters as people who refer to cucumbers as “pickles”; the increasing popularity of large wooden plugs in the pendulous, distended earlobes of the young; and the fact that I’ve inherited a scalp with so little oil production that I can easily go a week without washing my hair.

“I don’t understand this,” Mary says.  “I can’t go more than two days.”

“Have you tried?”

“Look, I think I know my head.”

“Do you, Mary?  Do we ever know our own heads?”

My own head comes near the current end of a genetic line of women with thick, dry hair.  The truth is that it doesn’t get oily, it gets dusty; and brush as we might, we run the risk of finding, say, the odd bit of lint stuck in there.

If I had a dollar for every time someone reached for my head saying “Hold still a second, you’ve got something in your hair…” I’d have enough money for, well, several really good hairnets. 

“A guy on the bus once pulled a live bug out of my hair,” I tell Mary.  “Do you know how embarrassing that is?”

“That’s what you get for having thick hair,” she taunts.  It’s an ongoing thing between us:  she envies my thick, bugful hair and I envy her great-looking legs, despite the increasingly bad knees.

We each envy what the other has, despite neither of us having anything to do with its possession beyond upkeep. 

“Hmm,” I say.

“Well, hey,” she offers, “at least they’re checking you out, huh?” 

It is quiet as we stare at each other.  “What kind?” she says.

“What kind?”

Her blue eyes have that twinkle in them, the one that lights her face from the inside, particularly when she’s messing with me.  “The bug that he pulled from your hair.  What kind was it?” 

What kind of bug?  Why I oughta…

She laughs as I lean forward, perchance to slug her one, but I am too late. 

She’s already out of range.

The knees aren’t out of those legs yet.


And I really should wash my hair.

28 comments:

Eva Gallant said...

I love the friendship between you and Mary. It's heart-warming!

Slick said...

Mullet The Minion (my owner) has had issues of late, and if she sleeps with me, I have to wash cat spit and cat hair out of my hair.

joeh said...

I wash my hair daily, and I don't mean hair in its plural form.

Saimi said...

I'm with Mary, My hair has what your lacks, Oil cells in abundance. I don't dare go with out washing my hair daily - and yes on an occasional camping trip I don't have to worry about picking the bugs out, they slide out themselves just fine.

Ray Denzel said...

why it was only this morning that I pulled a lady bug from the hair of my daughter (tv screen goes fuzzy as we flash back to an hour ago)....

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari Om
...darn, I knew I forgot something in the shower tonight....

sage said...

I envy those with great hair, people never pull bugs out of mine--I'd feel the darn thing walk on scalp first...

jenny_o said...

Somedays I feel like a car getting an oil change - wash out the natural oil (overabundance at the scalp region) and add in fake oil/conditioner (scarcity at the bottom half of the strands). It's a delicate balancing act and makes me extremely moody if I get it wrong. Well, that's my story, anyway.

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

I used to have hair that needed washing every day and what a pain. Now I complain about my thinning hair that is now 3/4 hair product. Yeah, dusting is OK with me.

Ebendy said...

Washing the hair often its great way of living healthy, i do always. Great post.Hope you pass by my page to read about addiction..

Indigo Roth said...

Dammit, now I'm thinking about ladies' knees! Bang goes sleep again. Why, I oughta...

Daisy said...

So what kind of bug was it? :D

*running and ducking*

Linda O'Connell said...

Ewww, I teach weelittle ones, so please don't say "bugs" and "hair" in the same sentence :)

Inspector Clouseau said...

It's a good thing that hair-oil production is not a choice you made in life. Otherwise, some folks might choose to criticize it.... :)

Launna said...

I am one of those people that has thick dry hair... I usually wash it twice a week... I know so many of my friends that have to wash it daily... I am grateful that it is thick and that it does not need to be washed daily...

Jennifer A. Jilks said...

You are funny.
I had the granddaughter painting today. "Gramma, you've got paint in your hair!"
No wonder. She was painting the cardboard, her hands, toes, here sister!
Cheers from Cottage Country!

Daisy said...

Mine has become thinner with age but washing my scalp is soothing.
Daisy's Barbara

... Daisy's hair is just fine tho missing her groomer who has been on holiday. Tomorrow Daisy's eyes will again be visible!

Gigi said...

Hair...the perfect topic to post about - since we all have complaints about our own, or lack thereof.

Elephant's Child said...

I am an every day washer/oil changer. And I also collect bugs. And bits and pieces from the garden. And on one sad day (while in the shower) a spider. Which bit me.
I would like Mary's legs though.

Rene Foran said...

Bugsy Mop and Red Badknees
I smell a caper coming on...

Merlesworld said...

To have thick dry hair I think you are lucky mine is thin and oily and i'm always washing it I would not mind the odd bug if I had nice thick hair.
Merle..........

Al Penwasser said...

When I saw "You've got something in your hair" and your friend Mary, I thought you were going to go with the "hair gel" bit in "There's Something About Mary."
Oh, the things which go through my mind.

HermanTurnip said...

Hearing the words "there's something in your hair" fills me with dread. What could be so disconcerting that a total stranger would mention it to me? The mind begins to reel. Is it a snake? A wasp? Spider? My brain instantly starts going through the worst-case-scenario.

River said...

I have dry hair that is kind of medium, not thick or thin, I wash it every third day in winter and almost daily in summer because my head sweats so much. And I keep it shorter these days because the good conditioner isn't cheap.

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

If I do not wash my hair each day I should not leave the house as it is that oily it looks terrible......

joeh said...

Got "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" on my nook today. I am not a cat person (I don't love them, but I respect them) but I love your stories in the unique "Pearl" style.

Kellie @ Delightfully Ludicrous said...

LOL! Very smart of her to get out of the way, I'm thinking.

Juliette said...

Hair washing is good for the soul!

Loved this :)