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Monday, August 5, 2013

I'll Be Awake by Noon -- Talk to Me Then

“Did you have a good weekend? You all ready for work?”

Well, no. As a matter of fact, I’m not.

I would love to tell you that I am. Ready for work, that is. But the truth is, I am woefully unprepared.

I meant to be. I meant to be ready. But there was watching movies I'd already seen on Friday night. And then there was the washing and folding bonanza that was Saturday. There was the writing, the cooking, the refrigerator detailing, the transporting of the cats to their tap-dancing lessons.

Would you believe I completely forgot to leave time to get worked up about being a productive member of corporate America?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m one punctual and competent SOB; but I’m no good at that “You all ready for work?” question. It just doesn’t seem that there’s a good answer to it.

Small talk is not my forte.

I should work on having prepared answers.

“Work? I’m at work?”

or

“Ready for work? Oh, now, yeah. I can’t remember what they called it, but the doctors said that I can continue with my regular routine as long as I use a hand sanitizer and don't – oh, shoot – have you seen my face mask?”

or

“Yep! All ready for work! Say, could you cover for me for a couple hours this afternoon? The police – well, the less you know the better; but now that they’ve got the court order they’re going to take that sample whether I like it or not.”

It’s so important to have a good attitude, don’t you think?



Happy Monday, everyone.

28 comments:

Silliyak said...

Don'y mean to pry, but I have always assumed that, if it were true, you'd be a DOB. But of course you're not. Us SOB's have an image to protect after all.

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

We just need to fix that sentence. Let's put "to drink?" in place of "for work?"
"You all ready to drink?" is a sentence I could answer - and I think I speak for you here, too, Pearlie - with a resounding
"Yes! Yes I am!"
:) Happy Monday.

Pearl said...

Silliyak, I was also a paper boy at one time. :-)

Dawn, AH! Amazing how re-framing a question affects the enthusiasm of the answer!!

vanilla said...

Indeed it is; and you have one great attitude!

Simply Suthern said...

There is a hole in your story. Nobody's going to believe for one minute that Liza Bean takes Tap Dancing.

Maybe around questions but there is no school for that.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari Om
...and top of the morning to you too, m'dear!! A little shuffle, a little shiffle, give the lips 'red truffle' and the collar a riffle. You'll be aces, kiddo! They're all so busy trying to work out their own answers you'll have 'em all fooled.

&*> YAM xx

Leenie said...

Anyone who has spent her weekend detailing a refrigerator and transporting cats to their tap-dancing lessons should get a pass for the first few hours on Monday. Maybe later.

Shelly said...

Monday morning small talk- don't see much of a use for it. Although if it was talk about the cat's dancing lessons, I'd be a willing participant.

Slick said...

We work Tuesday thru Friday most weeks. I won't have my Monday until tomorrow.

It will be much longer before I will be "happy" or "ready". I will, however, fake my way through it.

Can I please use those lines you posted? I can give you full credit for them or keep it on the down-low in case there is blame.

jenny_o said...

This is like "how are you" in that no one wants to know the real answer. "Fake it 'til you make it" is the best advice I ever heard :)

P. S. So if tap-dancing is on the weekends, when is ballet?

Mitchell is Moving said...

Retiring early makes Monday just another day. I now dread Saturdays.

goatman said...

Would you believe the phrase "would you believe" has been floating up from my mushy brain lately?
Maxwell, get outta my brain; . . . and you , quit encouraging him.

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

Our only problems with Monday mornings was that they always seemed to start earlier than any other day of the week. (Had absolutely nothing to do with the weekends' activities.) With retirement, however, any day can start whenever the heck we want it to start. For some unexplained reason, it's usually even earlier than prior to retirement. A cruel little joke of nature: when circumstances allow us to sleep in, our bodies rarely allows it.

Joanne Noragon said...

The first one is shortest and most Mondayish.

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

You all ready for work? NO!! I'm going home.

Jono said...

The whole first 3/4 of this could be me. Scary, ain't it?

River said...

What Susan Flett-Swiderski said. I'm not retired just yet, but I am still sleeping my way through six months of accumulated leave. and giving serious thought to not going back.

Eva Gallant said...

We need video of those tap-dancing lessons!!

Jayne Martin said...

The only good response to the question, "Are you ready for work?" is a pie in the face.

HermanTurnip said...

Whenever I'm at a concert and the guy up stage yells, "Are you ready to rock?!" I always shout back, "No, give us a few more minutes!"

Yeah, I'm lame that way.

Merlesworld said...

In all that one thing caught me tap dancing cats now that I want to see please post photo.
Merle.......

sage said...

Happy Monday, I hope it ended up being a good one

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

I so seldom had a good attitude when I went to work on Monday. Friday, at about 4pm, I started to perk up. I always thought that the best half hour of the week was my ride home from work on Friday. I loved the anticipation of two great days, and even if they didn't turn out the way I hoped, there was still that great half hour.

Pat Tillett said...

Monday Monday, can't trust that day,

I love being old and retired. Sometimes, I have no idea exactly which day it is.

Elephant's Child said...

Love, love, love your attitude(s).

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

This was funny.............

the walking man said...

"How can i be ready for something I know nothing about---werk? What does that word mean?"

Daisy said...

Being ready for work is way over-rated, I think. I'd much rather be surprised. My question is, "Is work ready for me?" :-)

Hope you are having a good week, Pearl.