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Monday, June 24, 2013

Wherein I Reach for the Remote in Self Defense

I suspect I’m more than a bit hormonal.

One suspects this about one’s self when television commercials create a knot in your throat.

As a pregnant woman, ever so many years ago, the urging by a phone company that I “reach out and touch someone” had left me nodding in agreement, sobbing. 

That was also a Winter Olympics year.  Commercials of the USA hockey team's victory four years previously over the heavily favored Russians in the Winter Olympics played regularly, and the Star Spangled Banner created such an intense feeling of patriotism in me that I would rise from my seat and place my hand over my heart.

I was so damn proud to be an American I could hardly stand myself.

“You okay?” Donny would say.

“I’m – I’m – I’m just so proud,” I would sob.

“I wonder if that’s normal,” he would say, frowning. 

Of course, they do this on purpose, these advertisers, these twisters of carefully inserted, carefully crafted heartstrings.  I know this, I rail against this, and I have, again, fallen prey to this.

But what has brought this on?  Why am I grinning, somewhat sadly, at the TV?

A dog food commercial, for cryin’ out loud. 

Dogs!

I’ve never owned a dog, but there they are on the screen:  dogs, leaping for Frisbees; dogs, lying on their backs, pink bellies guilelessly exposed; dogs grinning at their owners; dogs at the window, focused on the longed-for reappearance of a master…

Waaaaaaaah!

Lousy dogs. 


Hello.  My name is Pearl. It’s Monday; I am suspiciously hormonal, and if I pass a telephone booth, a flag, or a puppy, I just may cry.

34 comments:

Shelly said...

Being in the same state, I'll salute, tear up, or hug a puppy with you, my friend.

Simply Suthern said...

I hear hormones can be a pain.

The wife would cry while watching cheerleading competitions on TV when she was pregnant with our daughter.

Hope you feel better soon.

Pearl said...

Shelly, I think that would actually be fun, in a hormonal way. :-)

Simply, I can see where these things could create real problems!

Eva Gallant said...

I got so hormonal I had to cut out caffeine! I found it really exacerbated the situation. Hope this too passes!

Jeanie said...

I think that for now you just have to roll with the hormanal flow. At least, so far, they are just leading you into sappy feelings and not murder.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
Can you see me? #-} You know what I'm talking about!! What is more I know what YOU are talking about...

Once I was mortified that tears would roll unbidden but now, who cares?!

At least I am glad you found somesentimental space for a woofster. I can't imagine how you'll be when the Bitey-bitz ad comes on... 8(

Camille said...

Yup, I remember those days. But now it seems all my remaining estrogen has packed itself up and left behind wrinkles, bags and mostly tear-free eyes.

Although I have noticed my eyes can still puddle up a it when examining my upper lip and chin for yet more rogue hairs....just a little something for you to look forward to years from now Pearl.

Elizabeth Rose Stanton said...

I hope you navigate through your day without encountering said items. *snif*

Indigo Roth said...

Woof x

jenny_o said...

I hear you! And while the hormones surely had a part to play at one time, I found that when I could no longer blame THEM, I still had times of more or less tendency to tear up. Prolonged stress will do it every time for me.

Um ... did that cheer you up or make you want to cry more? Sorry ... here, have one of the abundance of tissues I always carry just in case one of MY triggers presents itself ...

Susan Williams said...

Oh, just you wait till you see the commercial my daughter will be singing on!
First: it's an earworm of a song.
Second: it's going to make you laugh out loud!
And then maybe shed a tear, for days gone by.
And because, through me, you sort of know that little girl who's singing in the background with such a delightful little voice.

Happy to contribute to your madness, I remain, your pal,

Sooze

Mitchell is Moving said...

Maybe I'm hormonal, too. Those telephone booths get me every time.

Joanne Noragon said...

My GPS got hormonal a couple days ago. We finally got a street name out of her and figured it out. My granddaughter said Sara had PMS (we call her Sara).

Mr. Charleston said...

Geez. You mean all this patriotic "real" American stuff is hormonal? Dang, and all this time I thought it was lead paint!

Kana said...

Ohh, buddy. It just means there's still a real "you" in there. TV is crazy for the 100% artificially manufactured heartstrings, and even though they KNOW that, all they do with that information is say, "Wow, so we've emotionally jaundiced several generations of the American populace by over-stimulating them and forcing them to generate callouses over their emotive centers? Well, we'll just have to kick it up a notch, then. We will FORCE them to care."

I grew up watching TV, but at around sixteen my circumstances changed and TV sort of dropped out of my life. I was left in a room with one on at about 19, and rode an emotional rollercoaster that left me shaking, weeping and furious. It was a psychological coughsneeze of a whole bunch of negative emotions, and I hated it; I'd lost my childhood TV callouses, and their heavy-handed puppeteering of my heartstrings was a psychological attack.

I still don't have TV - I stream shows, as and when I want to, without commercials - because my little heart can't take it. Kudos to you for being able to take it at all!

Elephant's Child said...

I really, really didn't need to start wondering whether my leaky eyeballs are hormonal. If they are, my hormones are permanently on overload...

Gigi said...

So, basically, you are telling me that the advertisers are making me cry on purpose? Obviously, they don't have to live with me or they'd be doing their jobs differently.

Austan said...

Don't worry, Pearl. When the hormonal flows stop you won't cry at things anymore. You'll rage about how stupid and useless and manipulative they are. :)

Lin said...

Oh, I'm bad, but not that bad. I will admit, though, to sobbing...and I mean SOBBING while watching Little House on the Prairie reruns when I was pregnant with my first child.

Yeah...but they were really, REALLY good episodes....

HermanTurnip said...

Don't worry, I feel the same why whenever I see a jacked up truck on 20" rims with "Metal Mulisha" stickers on the back windows and plastic truck nutz swinging freely from the rear bumper. "Damn, it's good to be an American!" I say to myself as I wipe a patriotic tear from my eye...

Sioux said...

I have sniffled over Hallmark commercials.

But they were really, really schmaltzy ones...

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

I often get all emotional and teary over different commercials I like those types even if they do something make me feel silly getting all teary over it........

River said...

My hormones packed up and left many years ago, but the emotional tears linger on. I have many movies and books that make me cry. I find it quite cleansing to have a good bawl.

Kymbo Whitford said...

but puppies grow up... My lil puppy has turned into a horse and he's still only 18 months old.. A few days of having MAX over to stay would cure you of the desire to cuddle a puppy. He'd cuddle you all right...with enthusiasm and often but the drool...Oh the drool!

Linda O'Connell said...

They don't call them raging hormomones for nothing. Just wait until they disappear and you get a new "attitude" change. I missed you! Glad to have ny computer up and running again. Cute picture at the bottom of your page.

Tez said...

It's those sneaky hormones telling you to go forth and multiply. Bloody things! Ignore them and enjoy the sobbing - it clears the sinus build up :-)

the walking man said...

I have an 80 pound Rot/Pit mix that would be more than happy to slobber those tears away.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

I'm not even hormonal yet I still get emotional at the Humane Society commercial where they play that song "In the Arms of an Angel" LOL.

jabblog said...


I'm just a cry-baby . . .

goatman said...


We typically mute the commercials -- radio or TV.
I wonder if anyone else does this?

Daisy said...

Oh dear. I know the feeling. Hugs and a box of tissues to you, Pearl.

Rosemary Nickerson said...

Tears are a good release. Better than shouting and throwing things.

Pat Tillett said...

This is one of the many reasons why I'm so darn happy to be male!

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

They sure know how to pull at the heart strings don't they?