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Thursday, June 6, 2013

My Friends. They Love Me.

I apologize for not posting yesterday.  Willie's father died late Monday night, and the house is in turmoil.  Until things settle down, please accept this repost from almost three years ago...


Many of the benefits to getting older lie in the realizations made, the if-this-then-that that go unnoticed when we are young and busy chasing our own (and others’) tails.

One recent realization has left me scratching my head, frowning in a way destined to further furrow my brow, wishing, actually, that I’d not made the connection that I am now about to inflict on you, and that realization is that I am, apparently, a relaxing influence on some of my friends.

Relaxing: this is how I like to think of it. The reality, truth to tell, is a bit more disturbing than that.

It’s not too late to stop reading, you know.

Ring-ring. Ring-ring.
Uh-oh. Now it is.

Ring-ring! Ring-ring!

“Hey!” I love that phones tell you who is calling before you answer it.

“Hey.”

Silence.

“What do you want?” My phone manner is legendary. In a performance review a number of years ago, my boss, who I loved dearly, told me, “The only negative comment I can make regarding your performance is that you sometimes come off as brusque. You need to work on being fuzzier.”

I reconsider having been what may have come off as “brusque” and rephrase so as to be in the fuzzy category. “What do you want, sweetheart?”

“Oh, nothing.”

Nothing? “Where are you? Sounds like you’re in a tin can. Are you in a tin can?”

There is laughter. “I just thought I’d call, see what’s up.”

Still with the same echo-y sound. I shut my eyes. I find this helps me think.

“You called me at work, wondering what I was doing?”

“Mm-hmm.”

I frown, then self-consciously try to rub said frown out of my forehead with my free hand. “Well,” I say, “Once again, my genius has been recognized. They’ve given me a summer house in Tuscany in lieu of a raise this year and a coupon for a free bagel with purchase of a coffee. Oh, and that statue I posed for last quarter will be unveiled after the dinner –“

And that’s when it hits me, as clear as the good ice cubes.

“Hey!” I shout.

“What?” There is laughter, then poorly muffled laughter, on the other end.

“Are you in the bathroom?! Seriously! Are you in the bathroom right now?!”

Attempts to muffle the laughter are abandoned. “What’s wrong with that? Your voice relaxes me.”

“Aeeeeggghhhh!” I am smiling. “OK. I’m hanging up now.”

Chuckles from the other end. “Nice talking to you!”

“Yeah,” I say. “Don’t forget to wash your hands.”

Click.



My jobs are many, my rewards few.

37 comments:

joeh said...

BBL
big belly laugh!

Actually SOLC

Serious out loud chuckle.

Roses said...

I laughed and laughed because I have called people from the sanctity of the smallest room.

hugs and hugs to you darling.
xxx

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari Om
heh heh heh heh hehh hehehheheh hehehhhehhhe

....okay I can't type now, your writing has relaxed me....

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

Best disinfect the phone.

Sioux said...

Pearl--I'm sorry for yours and Willie's loss.

Pearl said...

Oddly enough, my mother has the same effect on me...

And yes. Willie's father passed away Tuesday night, and there's been little time for writing. Who knew death was such a task-heavy event? I will get back to writing soon...

Shelly said...

I'm so sorry about your father-in-law. It's never easy, never.

And phoning in the bathroom? I still can't bring myself to do it. I can see the day coming, though...

Eva Gallant said...

That was hilarious!!

And so sorry for your family's loss.

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

Seems like the first time I read this, Pearlie, the actual friend's name was mentioned? The one who is, for lack of a better term, a-pooping? In other words: I know who it ii-is! Na-na-na-boo-boo!

On a serious note - again, I am soooo sorry for your loss.

Kathleen McCoy said...

Pearl, I'm so sorry for the loss that you and Willie are experiencing. It's amazing how labor-intensive a death is -- from dealing with so many decisions and tasks to dealing with one's own and another's grief. My thoughts are with you.

Buttons said...

Oh Pearl you make me laugh. In saying that I also have to say....
I am sorry for your loss Take care.. B

Powdered Toast Man said...

I'm not sure how to be fuzzier on the phone.

Teresa Evangeline/Bayou Summer said...

So sorry to hear of a death in your family. Best thoughts to you and yours...

sage said...

Thanks for the smiles and may your home be filled with grace during this time of grief.

Indigo Roth said...

Hey Pearl! Pffft! Tyrant! Washing hands, flushing, putting the seat down (and so on) and calling female friends from anywhere ELSE are all for girls. Pfft, I say again! Roth x

Leenie said...

My condolences. Pearl you are priceless. Even at a time like this you think of all your bloggy friends suffering from a lack of pearlpost. Thanks for the grin.

Simply Suthern said...

You and Willie are in my thoughts and Prayers

jabblog said...

Death takes up an awful lot of time and energy. It will ease. Take care.

jenny_o said...

A death in the family is exhausting on top of everything else - take care of yourself and Willie, dear Pearl.

As for calling from the loo ... not something I can do :)

Joanne Noragon said...

Life's left hooks. Each is practice for the next one. Hopefully the call won't catch you in the john. I know that's just awful, but where I went with this one.

fishducky said...

So sorry for your loss!

Gigi said...

Why, oh why, do people insist on calling while they are engaged in "other" activities?!

My condolences to you, Willy and the family. Sending hugs.

Daisy said...

So sorry to hear about Willy's father. My condolences to your family.

As for your phone call, I think I would rather not know where the call is coming from if it is coming from there!

Hugs to you, Pearl.

Elephant's Child said...

Your friends do indeed love you.
Sorry for Willies' and your loss.

Perpetua said...

So sorry to hear about Willie's father, Pearl. No need to apologise for not posingt something new. Blogging is not an obligation and sometimes the demands of life just take over.

mapstew said...

Sincere sympathy to you all from this side.

xxx

ellen abbott said...

My condolences.

Lin said...

Aw, bugger. Sorry about Willie's dad. ((hugs)) and sending love and prayers to you all.

HermanTurnip said...

I can't believe you're back to posting amazing material so soon after a tragedy. If there's anything we at Terrible Analogies can do, please let us know.

Hope you take some time this weekend to recover!

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

So sorry for your loss.

Your re-post is hilarious, and I appreciate you taking time to post it for us, but maybe you should take some time off from worrying about your blog for now. We can wait.

Bossy Betty said...

Pearl! So sorry to hear about WIllie's father.

You da bomb, Pearl. Funny Stuff.

Life is just full of highs and lows, isn't it?

Hang in there, Sister.

Daisy said...

My condolences also, to you and all the family. Take care.

Geo. said...

Please accept my condolences.

River said...

I'm so sorry to hear about Willie's father, I hope he didn't suffer.
I could never call anyone from a bathroom. I don't even take my phone in there.

Linda O'Connell said...

Take time for you and Willie. My condolences.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

I'm sorry for your loss.

Diane Tolley said...

But oh, the rewards when they come . . .

So sorry to hear about your loss. Thinking of you!