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Thursday, June 13, 2013

More Bus Action; or, I May Never Buy Another Car

I can hear her, over my iPod.

“Does this go all the way to Northtown?”

I’ve written this in lower case, but the reader should not take that to mean the question was asked with an “indoor voice” but rather that to begin this post in CAPS would be to paint one’s self into a font-ish corner.

The bus driver answers her in a tone that is not – and should not – be audible from where I am sitting.

“OK!” the woman says, holding a phone to her ear.  “I just gotta go all the way to Northtown!”

I take out my little book and write this down:  Bus commuter’s gotta go all the way to Northtown.

And I wait.  No point putting the book away at this point.

We long-time bloggers know a story when it’s hollered at us.

“Hello!  HELLO!”

Ah, there we are.  Didn’t have to wait long.

“That apartment still open?  What?  WHAT?  Yeah, I’m on the bus now.”

From my seat eight full rows behind her, all of this is very clear.

Across the aisle from me, a young woman with a blue streak in her hair looks up from her iPhone.

“I should prolly tell you somethin’, though.  I mean, when you run the background check, well, I’m charged with a felony.”

Blue Streak and I look at each other.

“But it’s just a CHARGE, not a conviction.  I mean, it’s not anything you can hold against me.  You have to show me the apartment.”

Several more heads pop up to inspect the back of the head of The Person Without Boundaries.

“It wasn’t even mine!  It was my boyfriend’s.  IT WAS LESS THAN A GRAM!”

It is at this point that I laugh out loud.  I mean, come on!  Whatever it was, Potential Landlord, it was less than a gram!

Blue Streak grins at me. 

“Yes. YES YOU DO!”  There is a slight pause as the woman on the phone listens.  “Two dogs.  TWO DOGS.  Look.  I’m gonna be there in 30 minutes.  I’ll see when when I see you.”

She turns her phone off, and for the next five minutes stares out the window, silently.

And I de-bus.

But even now, two days later, I wonder:  Did she get the apartment?



37 comments:

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

One dog, maybe, two dogs, probably not. And, oh yes, that little felony, it was her ex-boyfriend's stuff. Didn't she say ex-boyfriend, no well, she, she assumed the landlord knew.

Don't we all love to share?

Pearl said...

:-) Over-sharing in public venues. I'll never understand it, but I do profit from it. :-)

Simply Suthern said...

Well you don't have to worry about being on that jury now that you're in her inner circle of confidants.

Meeling said...

"person without boundaries" ...so very many of these souls wandering about. I will never understand them, but the material they give you, is well worth it!!

Sioux said...

Pearl--With commuters like her, and those two cool cats of yours, you'll never run out of writing material.

vanilla said...

You certainly do make the most of public over-sharing. Your fun is our fun!

Pearl said...

Simply, that and I used to be a court reporter -- and those are NEVER chosen!

Meeling, it's a double-edged sword, isn't it?

Sioux, exactly! :-)

Pearl said...

vanilla, the weirdest things happen sometimes, and I think to myself, "I must tell the others!" :-)

terlee said...

Attitude, Dope and Dogs...there's a reality show waiting to happen.

Simply Suthern said...

Wonder if knowing a court reporter counts?

There is the possibility that the dogs are there to protect the whole grams that aint actually hers either.

jenny_o said...

These people need a Cone of Silence in the worst way. Or the rest of us do.

Perpetua said...

Pearl, weren't you the teensiest bit tempted to stay on the bus and follow her, just to know how it all turned out?

Wonderful writing. :-)

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
ayoh! Landlord maybe has to show it but he certainly don't have to let it!!

What a great snippet from the kaleidoscope called life. &> YAM xx

Shelly said...

Who needs to pay for entertainment like movies when we can just sit in a public venue and listen to people's unedited overshares?

Judy said...

Well, she hadn't been convicted...

Indigo Roth said...

I remember sitting net to a chap who bought something on his phone while using the train, and bellowed his name, VISA number, expiry date and security code out for the whole train to hear. I wonder if he made it home, let alone whether he got the apartment ;)

Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point said...

I had a similar situation once with a potential landlord. I tried to argue that I had only stolen $100 from that bank not thousands. Landlords are such sticklers.

Joan said...

Mmmmm, I wonder too.
The all caps reminded me of an email I received from one of my employers this week. He had written the clients name in all caps, her name was in the middle of a sentence. I emailed back to him and asked if there was a reason for that, was he implying something.
He replied back... "haha. I copied and pasted her name from the spreadsheet. It's funny how ALL CAPS gives a different tone to an email."
It does! I thought there was something he knew that I didn't know. lol

in the coop said...

Never buy a car. Buses don't come out here to the country, so I can't see these things in my everyday life. I commute vicariously through you.

Leenie said...

In a selfish way I want you to keep riding the BUS so we can all continue to enjoy the magic.

George Turnbull said...

I have just got to ride that bus of yours of yours day Pearlchen

Kana said...

You'll know if she starts regularly using your public-chariot to get "all the way" to Northtown, I guess! Love it when the question doesn't have to go unanswered...unless, On No!, there is another bus that does a direct to Northtown...then we may never know!

Joanne Noragon said...

Maybe if you tell us a little more about Northtown we could judge her chances. But since you didn't....

Gigi said...

A font-ish corner...I loved that for some reason.

As for this person? Well, as amusing as she was I definitely don't think I want her living next door to me.

Amanda said...

Ahh, the elusive "indoor voice!" It just drives me nuts when people don't know how to use that wonderful indoor voice.

Thanks for sharing!

klahanie said...

Human, Pearl,

Every so often, I come over and leave one of my highly treasured, much loved comments.

It seems your bus experiences, Pearl, are very similar to my human's. We wonder if you actually live on a bus.

Pawsitive wishes,

Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar! :)

Elephant's Child said...

Thank you so much Pearl. Conversations like this are the reason I love travelling on the bus. Even when it gets a little scary and more than a little smelly. I really, really wish I had asked the woman who had padlocked bananas into a cat cage for the whole story. I think I will regret that until I die...

Stef said...

That's crazy bananas. She sounds guilty. I would convict her.

W.C.Camp said...

You're smart to carry a notebook. Great story but sadly I doubt she would get the apartment if I was the manager. W.C.C.

Rose L said...

There have been so many conversations in public places which I (and others)have overheard. They should have been done in private and much quieter as well. One girl was sharing info about her boyfriends performance in the bedroom the night before--too much information!

Tez said...

I live in a complex of four units that share a little visitor parking area. One of my neighbours has relatives who live outside the city and she loves walking about the carpark to talk to them on her mobile phone (cell). The trouble is she thinks she has to shout to be heard and the further away they live the louder she shouts. She is always shocked when I ask about specific things of the person she has been speaking to and says, "How do you know about that?" She cracks me up :-)

River said...

If I was that landlord I might have over-looked the gram, but asked for extra references and insisted on monthly inspection checks. And I would have asked to see the dogs to see what size they are. And if I got a better applicant for the apartment...well.....but people have to live somewhere, maybe she needs that fresh start.
I listened to a bus conversation myself this morning and thought of you.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

It's a weird thing how the people with the most appalling private lives feel the need to make their lives SO PUBLIC. My sister's the same way.

Eva Gallant said...

I'm sure she did--after all it was less than a gram and it wasn't even hers!

Diane Tolley said...

Action like this is almost never available in private transportation. Just FYI.

Daisy said...

You find a lot of unfinished stories on your bus rides! I guess you'll have to write your own ending. :)

Pat Tillett said...

Public transportation is great fodder for your stories! Don't ever drive to work...