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Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Fish Gonna Fry in the Kitchen, Beans Gonna Burn on the Grill; or, That Yellow Orb in the Sky – What is it?

Initially, my eyes had difficulty adjusting to the light.  I had been told this was common.

I was told that, in time, I would adapt.

Did you know it is summer in Minneapolis?  Glorious, sleeveless, knee-cap-exposing summer.  The sun is out, the homeless have returned after a six-month hiatus in warmer climes, and the sky is a brilliant and non-snowing blue.

I know this to be true because, once again, I am in the light.

That’s right, cats and kittens, I have been sprung from the Cave.

The Cave, aka The Darkside, aka The Second Reason Pearl Drinks!  Where pale-fleshed office lackeys huddle over keyboards littered with the crumbs of day-old bagels pilfered from Marketing meetings.  Where the hum of the ventilation system lures one into a dreamless semi-slumber; where a continual twilight leeches the color from one’s eyes and one’s fingertips grow sensitive and begin to pick up on the subtle electronic emissions of the life forms lurking within the soiled, smudged drawers of the contract employees.

The Cave! 

You come for the paycheck.  You stay for the sleep.

After two months of sacrificial offerings to Byron, Office Avenger, my petition has been granted.  I got the call to leave the corporate underbelly and be welcomed back into the pudgy arms of the office proper.

In other words, a  handful of people were let go and an open-air cubicle was free.

Hey.  Sometimes, that’s just how Byron works.

So here we are, a mere day after moving my computer, phone, papers, pens, and a bag of fast food napkins gleaned from a lifetime of office work.  I am back in the light, back where my post-lunch/pre-afternoon-commute naps are once again the subject of scrutiny, where my personal phone calls are both inappropriate and “monitored for quality control”.


And where the sun comes, rainbow-like, through the window of the office across the hall from me.  

37 comments:

Susan Williams said...

Praise the Lord, and pass the sunscreen.

Shelly said...

That Brady Bunch song, It's a Sunshine Day, keeps running through my mind. Sorry if it becomes an earworm, but I'm so glad you're back in the light.

I exposed my kneecaps today, too.

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

You are movin on up, sister, to the East side! To a dee-luxe cubicle - in the sky-eye-eye!

Pearl said...

Susan, I just may freckle. :-)

Shelly, aww, dang it, Shelly!! Now where's my pantsuit...

Dawn, the dee-luxe cubicle!! (Now with my very own chair!)

Indigo Roth said...

Knees?! *asthma*

Silliyak said...

and an intern?

joeh said...

Ditto Dawn!

Pearl said...

Indigo, we're quite wanton in the summer!

Silliyak, you combine exposed knees and interns, next thing you know, someone's calling HR...

joeh, great. :-) Back goes the ear worm...

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari Om
Okay - nobody did the scream yet.

YYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY.

My work is done. xxx

Willow said...

Hmm "calls monitered for quality control " I think I first heard that phrase used in the Watergate hearings ;)

Douglas said...

Ah... summer up nawth when yogurt skin is exposed to ultraviolet light and sizzles into a nice rosy red.

jenny_o said...

I think congratulations are in order. And also something decadent for dessert, to use up a few of those lifetime achievement napkins.

Really, I'm so glad you are back in the light. It bodes well.

Sioux said...

Your description of "The Cave" makes me think I should shut my mouth when I start complaining about my classroom--complete with two windows and a couple of chairs I've stolen and now claim as my own...

vanilla said...

Monitored personal calls is a fair tradeoff for sunlight in the workplace!

klahanie said...

Hey Pearl,

*Sigh of relief*....yes, I thought it's time to delight you with another one of my comments. Okay, maybe next time.

Speaking of caves, the British 'summer' is rather like living in a cave. That mysterious glowing orb in the sky aka the sun, would be most welcome here.

Wishing you well. And Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar, sends pawsitive thoughts.

Penny's alleged human and of course, your starstruck fan,

Gary :)

Jono said...

Now you'll have to wear sunglasses indoors like those cool Hollywood types. Maybe draw some smiley faces on your kneecaps, too.

Bossy Betty said...

Congrats! No more Mole Girl! (But you don't have to take the cape off just yet.)

Buttons said...

Oh my dear Pearl ENJOY the light in your open cubicle anyway you can:)You deserve the light. B

Joanne Noragon said...

Leave early in the morning, too. Fresh air, and no need to run for the bus, take a tumble and skin those bare knees.

Mark Koopmans said...

Classic!

When we were growing up in Ireland, we used to all grab our imaginary cameras and snap pictures of the sun when it *finally* showed its face :)

Z said...

When you've had enough of it for a couple of days, please may England borrow your summer. We'll give it back, promise - whether we want to or not.

BLissed-Out Grandma said...

Light! I've had offices with it and without it, and with is better!

Kana said...

The Byron works in mysterious ways; according to Office Policy. Praise the Policy! Praise and glory unto Byron, lord of the light! Let him lead you into bright cubicles, where the natural light might reach! Praise be!

TexWisGirl said...

yay! let the sun shine in!

jabblog said...

Sun? You have sun? And it stays for more than a couple of days? I am in awe . . .
I'm glad you're out of the cave but it sounds as though it plays havoc with your sleep pattern.

Pat Tillett said...

All that sunshine must be blinding! Is there an alternate summer use for snow blowers and snow shovels?

Gigi said...

Fabulous! I have a sliver of light from each of the offices across from my cubicle - if they were to disappear I fear I would wither up and die.

As for the "monitored" personal phone calls (via the nosy neighbors) - that I could do without.

Daisy said...

Wonderful news! Time for you to bask in the glow and catch a few rays! :D

Eva Gallant said...

"And the Lord said, 'Let there be light, and there was light!"

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

As I sit and read this it is cold and wet been raining non stop all day

Joanna Jenkins said...

The angels are singing for you Pearl!!! Congrats on the new digs.
xo jj

Elephant's Child said...

Yay.

River said...

Sunshine! And your own office again. sit back and bask in the sumptuousness.

the walking man said...

Now you're not used to the extra UV rays so remember to stash some PF 987 sunblock in with your napkins, sporks and hand sanitizer.

Linda O'Connell said...

Sunshine on your shoulders and maybe an intern for YOU?

Diane Tolley said...

That glorious golden orb is visiting in our climes today as well. Oh the joy! Welcome back to the light and warmth, oh, FORMER cave-dweller!

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

Pearl's on the loose...look out denizons of cubicle land...