I've contributed to perhaps the best humor compilation I've ever read. Available now on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Monday, May 20, 2013

Stories Told Whilst Drinking

Connectivity issues brought the whole lousy thing to a halt this weekend.  Please enjoy this recollection from Vin while I catch up...




It’s Saturday night, a warm summer night, and a light breeze has the leaves dancing.  The temperature has dropped dramatically since the 102 degrees reached just yesterday, and the keg of Lonely Blonde on the corner of the deck sits in an iced garbage can swathed in a quilted blue blanket, perfectly cold. 

Kathy has turned 40, and her backyard is full of people, beer, plates of food, cigarettes, coolers, and bug spray.

Her kitchen is full of food.

It’s got to be, what?, 11:00, 11:30?, and while the dining room table is fully occupied and the kitchen houses a half-dozen people circling the cocktail wienies, the majority of the party is outside on the deck, a dozen or so chairs making the leap on to the lawn.  Groups arrange themselves in large, looping circles, expanding and shifting as people speak/shout/laugh with those next to and across from them. 

We’ve been talking about our favorite ages.  I have just declined reliving any particular age, citing how difficult life can be in the first place, but Vin is fondly recalling his early 30s.

“ – and so I’m running cars in and out of London.  Got a lad out of Frankfurt – great German bloke, masses of curls framing a massive square head.  Eric, his name was,” Vin takes a drag off his cigarette. “Eric.”

I nod appreciatively.

“He says to me, he says come on over, I’ve got three cars for you.  I take the train –“  and here Vin speaks of Ipswich and Callais.

I am lost until he arrives in Frankfurt.

Eric picks him up at the station.

“And right away, everything goes sideways,” Vin says.  “Eric thinks I’m going to give him this great envelope of money before I get the papers for the cars, and yet it seems there’s been a bit of trouble.  You see, I have to have these papers in order to sell them, and yet the possibility has arisen that these cars won’t pass inspection, won’t qualify.”  Vin leans back in his chair.  “I tell him, Eric, you get those papers, I’ll give you the money.  It won’t be happening the other way ‘round.”

I nod.  I am picturing myself in Frankfurt, picture pine trees and sidewalks without knowing anything about the city.

“So he finally agrees, he’ll take care of everything.  He puts me up in a hotel – nice place, it was – and says, I’m going to take care of it.  I’ll be right back.”  Vin grins, takes a drag of his cigarette.  “Two days he’s gone!  Two days!  I’ll be right back, he says.”  He shakes his head.

“Well what did you do?”

Vinnie shrugs.  “What can you do in Frankfurt?  I got bloody drunk, didn’t I?” 

“That’s awesome.”  James has been leaning forward, his elbows on his knees, listening intently. “Seriously, that’s awesome.  That’s when you’re really living, right?  When you don’t know where life is going.”

Vin stands up, takes a drag from his cigarette.  “Well it’s all awesome, isn’t it?”   He holds up his empty cup, heads toward the keg.  “There’s no telling what might happen next.”

16 comments:

Indigo Roth said...

Hey Pearl! A lovely memoir, but part two is required! More party, I say, MORE! Roth x

Indigo Roth said...

Ooooh, first place again! Never a desirable quality in a man, of course, but SCORE!

Shelly said...

Doggone it, now I've got to go Google Frankfurt. Inquiring minds want to know...

Daisy said...

I'm going to a deck party this afternoon. Will think of you, and be open for surprises!

Optimistic Existentialist said...

You always have such a gift for pulling us in :-)

Pearl said...

Indigo, oh, you know you're always first in my book!

Shelly, honestly, I've no idea what Frankfurt must look like...

Daisy, don't you love deck parties?!

Optimistic, You shoulda bin there. :-) Good times!

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari Om
Keep your ideal of Frankfurt Pearl, it can do no harm.

&*{

Meanwhile, kitchen parties that extend to the garden hold many great memories from all over the world. Through you, I get to experience the US side. Cheers - or should that be PROST! YAMxx

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

I can't stand stories that end nowhere on the way to the beer keg.

jenny_o said...

It's true, you never know what might happen, in the next second, even. Life is a mystery waiting to unfold.

Geo. said...

Great yard-party description! People don't throw those much when they get too far over forty. I miss them.

Austan said...

I miss those big parties. The stories you'd hear, the people you'd meet! Great recreation. Pearl.

Esther Montgomery said...

Yesterday, I realised I am a year younger than I thought. Should I be pleased because it's added a year to my life or sad because I've missed and imaginary birthday?

the walking man said...

Yes James not knowing what coming is really living...until that train runs you over.

Daisy said...

Sounds like it was a fun time! :)

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

Sounds like a fun time was had.......and a funny time as well.......

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

I have always wanted to disappear like that--just for a couple of days.