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Thursday, April 18, 2013

So You’re NOT Going to Naked Yoga?


Willie has taken up yoga.

For someone who has not been to a class before, the man is surprisingly flexible.

And after years of practice, I find this natural lithe-ness of his to be, as I like to refer to it, “vexing”.

“The man’s like a freakin’ reed,” I gripe to Mary.  “Why should he be so flexible?”

She shrugs, I am sure of it, a nuance I am able to discern through years of intensive phone use.  “Maybe he’s been getting up at night, dropping into the splits while you sleep.”

We grin at each other, two disembodied chuckles.

“Get off my line,” I mutter darkly.

“Don’t call me again,” she threatens.

And so after his initial disappointment in finding that there will be no need for “yoga shoes”, Willie, being something of a clothes horse, has taken comfort in the need for sleeveless tees. 

He has dressed in a pair of basketball shorts, a dark sleeveless tee.  “We want to get everything tucked,” he says, bending forward and assuming Downward Facing Dog, “If ya know what I mean.

 “I’ve been in yoga for over five years,” I say.  “I know exactly what you mean.”

He looks up at me.  “Nudity in the studio?”

He sounds a little hopeful, if you ask me.

“This Thursday, for sure.”

He stands, squares his shoulders a bit, frowns.  “Seriously?  There’s nude yoga?”

I shouldn’t play with him, the neophyte, but is it really “playing” when somewhere, surely, there is nude yoga this Thursday?

“It’s a spring thing,” I say casually.  “You know.  Some New Age thing, I’m sure.”

“Ah,” he nods.  “Sure,” he says.  “That makes sense.”

I grin.  “So you’ll be there Thursday?”

He drops back down into Downward Facing Dog.  “Yep,” he says, smiling at me.  “Just as soon as I get back from Chicago.”

I frown at him.  “When are you going to Chicago?”

He grins.  “I’m not, ya goofy woman.”

27 comments:

Simply Suthern said...

After your stories of sweaty men in Yoga the naked Thursday just dont quite do it for me.

Shelly said...

I often run on an elevated track in my gym overlooking a yoga class on the first floor, populated at this particular time of day with retired professors, mainly men in their 60's and 70's.

The thought of nude yoga there has me scrambling for brain bleach.

Buttons said...

I am laughing so hard I have no idea if it was your story or the wonderful comment from Shelly. Either way :) :) :): B

Juli said...

I will also skip the sweaty men in the yoga studio, thanks. I have enough sweaty half naked men around here...

still working on getting youngest showered and dressed today... it is April vacation, ya know?

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

Oh yes - there is naked yoga - check the Internets. I found some recently, searching for free Rodney Yee yoga videos.
I swear I was searching for Rodney Yee yoga - not naked yoga.
There is pretty much naked EVERYTHING on the internets.

Jeanie said...

Not a pleasant image to dwell on....no ma'am, not at all.

Nessa Locke said...

I'm all for the tucking of things! Please, please, Willie, tuck all your things away! Use duct tape, if you must.

(I may never go to yoga now.)

The Savage said...

I use to could do the splits...

Daisy said...

Hahaha! I think he's on to you. :D

Lorna said...

Nude yoga is bad enough, but co-ed nude yoga makes me lose my appetite.

Pearl said...

I am thinking that it's best to not let one's eyes wander at Naked Yoga. :-)

Leenie said...

And that's why clothes were invented.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
Oh Yess. Something for everybody. Including a leg-pull or two! Nice one Willie!

YAM &`)

jenny_o said...

Hmmm ... sounds like Willie may be on to your nefarious ways ... and also that he may be a match for your verbal shenanigans. Maybe. He'd have to be pretty good to be an actual match.

Still chuckling at Nessa's comment :)

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

He's got your number.

Jane Droll said...

nude yoga! hurl! count me out! ;)

Daisy said...

I'm switching to Tai Chi!

Jacquelineand.... said...

Mental floss please!

Lin said...

Great, now I have this image of wrinkled body parts dangling. Thanks. Thanks a LOT. *ack*

Gigi said...

Great...know I now what will be in my dreams tonight. *sigh*

NotesFromAbroad said...

I like Joe.

But I will have bad dreams with that visual of downward facing dog .. nude ... :(

HermanTurnip said...

Nudity at work I can understand, but at the yoga studio? Disgusting! ;-)

River said...

Yoga is challenging enough, naked yoga? I don't think so!
I agree things need to be safely tucked out of sight.

Rose L said...

I could NEVER do naked Yoga. Some of those positions would open up too many bodily orifices, and I would feel very sorry for the person behind (or in some cases, in front) of me. If everyone wore covers over their eyes...maybe. But they would have to promise not to peek!

Elephant's Child said...

He knows you well doesn't he? And, as a person who is supple as a brick, I resent his litheness. Rather a lot.

Tempo said...

Nude Yoga would be bad enough in a room of beautiful bodies....but..

Linda O'Connell said...

Your honey is funny, too.