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Tuesday, April 16, 2013

I've Never Fully Trusted My Feet, Now That I Think About It


My hair predicted – correctly – that the weather this morning would be damp and cold with a good chance of frizz and has since then assumed all the texture and gloss of twine.

It’s another case of you-should‘ve-seen-me-when-I-left-the-house.

Sometimes I have whole weeks like that.

Today, for example: not only am I questioning what might’ve possibly happened to my hair between when I went to bed last night and when I awoke but I am also wondering about my wardrobe in general. Why, prior to my leaving the house this morning – and according to my mirror which has never lied to me before – I would've sworn to you that my outfit was fashionable, well suited to me, and ever-so-casually elegant.

This illusion promptly disappeared once I reached the office. What was I thinking? This doesn’t look good on me at all! And what is this? A blue sock and a black sock? A quick check tells me that my shirt is on right-side out, which is always a plus in the corporate environs, but the two-different-colored sock thing has me a little concerned.

Two different socks. Humph.

I’ve caught myself frowning at my feet more than once this morning, as if there’s a chance that my socks will notice my displeasure and do something about it. I doubt it, though, as I’ve been displeased with my footwear in the past and it’s come to naught.

Although, come to think of it, I did once have a pair of high heels turn unexpectedly into flats, which was both exciting and uncalled-for.

Perhaps I should stop being so heavy-handed with my feet and just leave them be before one of them decides to get ambitious and start branching out. Next thing you know, I’ll be cutting little sidecars into my shoes like Grandma did...

I may want to re-think my position on colored socks and their relation to reality…

Note to self: Buy feet something thoughtful but not too expensive. We can’t afford to lose these two so early in the game.

38 comments:

Shelly said...

Actually, it's a hot fad now with the teenage set to wear two different colored socks. You're a trendsetter, you know.

Hilary said...

What Shelly said.. plus you'll have another identical pair at home.

"heavy-handed with my feet".. snort!

Pearl said...

Shelly, really? Ahh, why not. :-)

Hilary, :-) I'm glad you liked that.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
sigh... oohh tooo familiar! Attention, that's what's needed (I decided some decades ago). If only I could remember to pay attention.

Welcome to menopolysoxication! 8+}

Simply Suthern said...

Matching socks, Parallel Hair,
Right side out shirts, Zipped up flies!

It just corporates way of keeping individualism out of the office environments.

Lorna said...

You could put up a sign that says DIFFERENT COLORED SOCK DAY. Then everyone else will feel bad for not getting with the program. Of course you have to do it early early in the morning before all the rest of the office workers arrive.

Perpetua said...

The great thing about wearing odd socks is that you need never have to bother sorting them into matching pairs again. Just put them all loose into a drawer and play lucky dip every morning. :-)

terlee said...

AT least your hair seems to have some spirit--a bit of mischief and mayhem is always called for. Mine goes limp as an overcooked noodle by the end of the day.

And socks, poor dears. They'll use any means necessary to grab some attention...

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

Darned office dress codes...the nerve of corporate telling us our clothing has to be right side out. Next thing they'll be telling us we have to wear our bras on the inside of our shirts.

joeh said...

Black and blue socks are interchangable.

esbboston said...

I have caught my feet doing strange things too, or two, and wondered, who is in charge here?

jenny_o said...

You've had whole weeks of looking bad despite leaving the house looking fine?

Pffft. Not to brag, but I've been doing that since 1978.

fishducky said...

Have you considered painting your feet before you go to bed & eschewing (not CHEWING) socks altogether?

Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point said...

I once looked in the mirror and noticed my shirt was inside out, so I took it off, flipped it, put it back on and then realized I had it correct the first time. So I then repeated the process. It took me a long time to recover from this.

wellfedfred said...

We have the same feet and the same misleading mirror and yet we are separated by geography...

I have, well, had, a whole bunch of relatives who insisted that if you put on some item of clothing inside out, it was good luck if you didn't change it all day, and of course bad luck would be upon you if you did. Today that is just another excuse for not going to the gym, or joining one - can't risk the possibility that I might go out in an inside-out sweater and then have to change.

Geo. said...

All our clothes should be made out of blankets.

Ian Lidster said...

I once went to work with unmatching shoes. Similar but not from the same set. I would have been comforted by your socks predicament.

Jane Droll said...

it is such a relief when the weather gets warmer and there is no need for socks!

at least you were not wearing any clothing inside out. ugh. i have done that. NOT GOOD. particularly when someone else notices before you do!

Leenie said...

Yes, a trend setter. Your only gaff was not wearing socks so odd, unmatched and bright that you embarrassed your feet for being so unreliable and sneaky.

Daisy said...

Pearl, you always make me laugh. Thanks for the smiles again today. Hope you are having a great week!

Natalie said...

life is too short to wear matching socks anyway :)

Susan Kane said...

The sock drawer is a dark place where black and blue look alike. It's okay.

vanilla said...

"cut little sidecars" I remember those!

The Savage said...

Word, yo...

Douglas said...

That's just one of the hazards of dressing in the dark. Ever forget to pull up that zipper and wonder why those pants don't feel so snug anymore?

Gigi said...

The feet ARE a wily pair - you've really got to keep your eye on them or they will easily get out of hand.

Indigo Roth said...

Ah, Pearl, Pearl, how I have missed you darling. I was a shattered, burned-out wreck for all of March. But now I am returned. Did you save me some Easter chocolate like you promised? Roth x

Red said...

Men could be expected to make the sock gaffe, but never women! You will have to become comfortable in your own skin and enjoy life!

Kana said...

Sorry to URL dump, but this might explain some things:

http://loldamn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/funny-cow-lick-sleep-bed-morning-hair.jpg

Lo said...

forget socks. Get a couple of pair of those little hosier ankle high or footsie things...they are all the same color.....problem solved.

However, my problem if far from solved.....how in the hell do you get 29 readers to comment and make your blog life a giddy whirl?

Could it be the superior quality of your presentations? Damn, there's no help for me for that......

Absolutely lovely blog, Pearlie.

HermanTurnip said...

Heh, yeah...mismatched socks and me have a history, which typically stems from dressing in the dark as the cat swipes at my feet from underneath the bed.

River said...

These days I feel good if I remember to put socks on at all :)

You need to keep an eye on your feet or they will take you places you never expected to go.

chlost said...

It had to be the cats. You know that they were at home all day, snickering and chuckling between themselves about having tricked you into wearing those mismatched socks. And I am sure that they changed out your hair products as well. A little late April fools' perhaps....just like the weather.

Rose L said...

I have had the strange sock coupling.
In my drawer I once discovered I had 2 pairs of socks where one is black and one is brown! Must be a new style!!
My feet only request an occasional debriding and some sweet smellin' lotion.

Tempo said...

I've beaten this old one Pearl.. I only ever buy shot Black Socks.. It makes picking them easy, even in the dark and if you lose one...you dont even notice. I've got about 30 short black socks in all but knowing Socks I probably own an 'odd' number..

Mr. Charleston said...

I have always been amazed by women's ability to tell the weather by your hair. I can't tell a damned thing from mine, what's left of it. I only know that if it stands up by itself I need to wash it.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

Oh this gave me quite the morning chuckle. At least you didn't wear two different SHOES (like my boss did a few months back) LOL

Suldog said...

I want to know why some stains are visible only after you leave the house.