I've contributed to perhaps the best humor compilation I've ever read. Available now on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

In Maryna’s Bedroom; or And Then We Split Another Bottle of Wine


Maryna very much wants to give me some of her jewelry.

“You like?  Peek.  You peek what speak to you.”

I look into Maryna’s jewelry box, a pirate’s treasure of dangling, sparkling earrings and necklaces most accurately referred to as “statement pieces”.

This appeals to me, as I have many statements to make.

“You like?”  She holds up a pair of earrings the shape of a psychedelic spider web.

I take them from her.  “These are way too heavy for this old broad.”

“No,” she says.  “Never say.”  Her Ukrainian accent gives every utterance a sorrowful, downward inflection, attaches a weighty solemnity to the most mundane of situations.  “You are beautiful woman, not old broad.”  She narrows her eyes, almond-shaped and black as midnight. “They are too heavy.  You are right.”  She takes them back.

“Here, you take.”  She passes me a string of chains, a large, blood-red dahlia attached to them.  “Poot on.  Go to mirror.”  She places a helpful hand to the small of my back as I turn to go to the mirror at the other end of the room.  I pull the necklace over my head.

“Adjust.  Like thees.”  I turn to see her pantomime moving the flower to rest on the clavicle, a jaunty burst of color near the jaw.

I adjust the necklace.

Maryna grins.  “Eet’s you, baby.”

I grin back.  “I always leave here with jewelry,” I say.  “Why is that?”

She shrugs, inscrutably Eastern European.  “Ees life,” she says.  “And sometimes ees jewelry eenwolved.”


54 comments:

jenny_o said...

That's what everyone needs - a friend to show us how to love ourselves.

jenny_o said...

Shoot! Forgot the most important part! ... WOW photo!

fmcgmccllc said...

Lookin good girl.

Pearl said...

It was suggested to me that my blog lacks photos, although I have to look at this one and wonder why I felt it needed to be taken from 10,000 feet...

Buttons said...

“Eet’s you, baby.” love your pic:) B

haphazardlife said...

Everyone needs a red dahlia on one's clavicle. Nice to see you!

joeh said...

I love Myrna, but any post about Myrna should have her say "Ees peese of sheet" at least once!

joeh said...

Maryna...sorry

jenny_o said...

I may be in the minority here, I don't know ... I come here to read. Anyone who believes a picture is worth a thousand words hasn't read your words. There are more mental images generated by one of your posts than any picture could provide.

My two cents.

Sorry, I seem to be taking up more room than I paid for here today ...

fishducky said...

It's you!!

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

It's always good when jewellery is inwolved.

Pearl said...

:-) I agree that Maryna's saying "peece of sheet" is worth hearing. She's adorable.

And no worries -- I won't all of a sudden turn into a photo blog (not that there's anything wrong with that!). I'm here to write. I just knew that if I write about a new necklace that people are going to wonder why I didn't show it!

It's all about inwolvement. :-)

Pat said...

If your tresses had been on the other side revealing the scarlet flower - would that have been too much? I can't decide.

Shelly said...

I am like a crow in that I love things that are shiny and can be carried away, and I also love statement pieces. Do you think Maryna would let me peek, too?

Love the dahlia- looks fab on you.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari Om
Oh yeah baby - it's called accent - all three; viz
Maryna
Necklace
Photo

Nothing wrong with a bit of accent. Works for me! YAM xxx

jenny_o said...

Works for me too, Yamini! (although I am happy with Pearl's reassurance :))

*jenny_o exits the Bus of Pearl and disappears in a cloud of diesel fumes*

Lorna said...

What a pretty woman!

Jackie said...

Sweet friend, you have...
Lovely photo of you.
Hugs,
J.

Perpetua said...

Gorgeous photo, lovely jewellery and such a sweet story.

Daisy said...

Maryna sounds like a real sweetheart, and she's right, it is you! You look lovely! :)

Susan Kane said...

One cannot refuse free jewelry given by a gypsy-sounding friend. Wonderful.

Craver Vii said...

“Eet’s you, baby.”

I'm totally into visual arts, so I've gotta say that it's a great photo. I like the way your hair caught the light.

If I was as gifted with words as you are, maybe I would post less pictures, too. This blog is always a fun place to visit.

Lisa Golden said...

Gorgeous. You, the necklace, your friendship, the storytelling.

vanilla said...

Pretty accent for a pretty lady. Eet ees you!

bill lisleman said...

You are very good at writing accents. Maryna takes very good care of you. nice pic

The Savage said...

Ti Ochen Kraseevaya.

If you don't know I'll translate the phonetic Russian to Red Neck.

Yer Purdy.

goatman said...


Ees that da blood red dahlia?

Geo. said...

Exquisite dahlia, looks real! I like the smile very much too --there's a delightful mischief in it.

Sioux said...

Pearl--email me an address--any old address--so I can send you the "soft green" scarf. (I hope you meant soft in color; it's a warm scarf.)

Also, fringe or no fringe?

Joanne Noragon said...

Ees beautiful cupboard behind you, too. Marnya knows how to keep house. Reminds me of my great grandmother's house. Makes you feel good to be around.

Suldog said...

She's right - eet's you. Very lovely. So is the piece of jewelry :-)

Roshni AaMom said...

You're looking great, Pearl! And, any post with Maryna (heck!Any of your friends) in it, is a real treat!

Gigi said...

A picture or two, along with the words, is always treasured...just like good friends.

Indigo Roth said...

Hey PearlyGirl! Words? Good! Pictures? Good! "It's all about balance, innit?" And by the way, that's a lovely photo. Tho I didn't notice the flower x Roth

Leenie said...

Love the photo but I'm with jenny-o. Who needs photos when your words are worth a thousand pictures. Everyone should have a friend like Maryna.

HermanTurnip said...

I wish I had friends like that, but instead of jewelry they routinely gave me Mocha Frappuccinos.

chlost said...

A coworker of mine is from Ukraine. You have the accent down perfectly. Love eet. Please feel free to use photos as long as they don't usurp the thousand words.

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

I fell over at "You Beautiful woman, not old broad". She certainly has a way with words.

You buy?

Rose L said...

I didn't know you were so young!
Jewelry can cause a personality change.

Pat Tillett said...

Granny used to tell me mom that it's "all about the accessories."
Love the photo Pearl!

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

Bloody great photo

Elephant's Child said...

Oooh. What a friend to have. And I hope the wine was most excellent too.

River said...

Maryna is right, the dahlia is "you".
I've had earrings that have become too heavy, I take them off the fixings and attach them to chains to be worn as pendants. Works for single earrings that have lost their partners too.

George Turnbull said...

Ah Pearlchen, you always tell 'em so well.

But what I want to know is what happened to the old broad and who's that little cracker in the piccy?

jabblog said...

. . . and every time you wear that necklace - or even look at it - you'll be reminded of your lovely, funny friend.

Jack Sparrow said...

The first time I have read your blog and I have to say I was enthralled. The imagery is perfect. The photo is such a good one of you. Pretty lady. x

Deborah said...

A selfie? Pearl! I kinda love it.

Linda O'Connell said...

Pretty Pearl, pretty necklace, too. I knew a waitress who was given antique (good) jewelry as a tip by an old woman who came in weekly. She was in her right mind, the old woman, not the waitress.

BamaTrav said...

That's a good looking woman!

Daisy said...

Like! Ees goot!

Casey Freeland said...

What a sweet lady. I want her to give me jewelry and other than my wedding band, I don't even wear any.

And great writing the accent, by the way.

Cheers,

Casey

savannah said...

always a pleasure to read you, sugar, and a delight to see your smiling face! love the necklace! xoxoxox

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

ah. I love Maryna, almost as much as I love Mary.
Did frugal Pearl go and get herself a smart-phone? Whoo Hoo!

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Very sweet. Maryna and you always make me smile. That's a gorgeous picture too.

xoRobyn