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Tuesday, April 30, 2013

A Purpose-Driven Life; or It Really Wasn't A Spider

Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.  That's what I have.  In both wrists.  Please enjoy this post from a little over one year ago today while I keep my traitorous little wrists immobile.


“I need your help,” I say.

“Mmmm,” she muses.  “And so the tables turn and now I am the master.”  I  hear her close her eyes, rub the tips of her little fingers together. “Speak freely, neophyte.  There are no stupid questions.  Just stupid answers.”

I consider the many ways this conversation train has already jumped the tracks but chug on.  There will be time for playing into Mary’s soft, freckled hands another phone call. 

“How can people leave a public bathroom knowing full well that they just dropped, say, a paper towel on the floor and not be bothered to pick it up?  What’s it mean?  Is it, like, hey, someone else can pick this up?”

Mary chuckles. 

I narrow my eyes at her, something I am certain she can pick up over the phone.  “Heeeey.”

“You crabby today?” she says.

“No.  Yes.  No.  Shut up.”

Mary chuckles again, a bit indulgently, if you ask me.  “How did this come up?”

I shake my head, the memory still vivid.  “Well I was in the bathroom, and I look down and someone’s pulled off this huge entanglement of black threads from something and just left it on the floor.  I thought it was a spider.”

“And you picked it up and threw it away, is that where we’re going with this?”

I nod. 

“Have you considered,” she says, “that because you and I clean houses that you may actually be feeling protective of those in the janitorial services?”

I had not considered this connection.  “I hadn’t really thought of that,” I grumble, “although this explains why I’ve been shopping for a shirt with my name embroidered on it.”

“Do you rinse out the sinks?”

I nod.  “And wipe down the counters.”

“Do you push down the overflowing paper towel baskets?”

I frown.  “Somebody’s got to.”

“Tsk, tsk,” she says.  “You know people put hypodermic needles in there, don’t you?”


Mary’s laughs.  “And LSD, man!  There’s liquid LSD hidden in the trashcans, man!”

“I should be so lucky,” I mutter, a small smile forming.

“You know, I’m fresh outta LSD,” she says.  “But I can pop by with a pair of Jon’s work socks.  A whiff or two and that’ll dilate yer pupils.”

I smile.

“You feel better now?”

I nod.  “I’m gonna keep doing it, you know.  I’m going to keep picking up.”

Mary sighs.  “That’s why we’re here,” she says.  


Shelly said...

I think there are people who love me for no other reason than I always leave a bathroom cleaner than when I first entered.

Sending a gentle wrist massage to you. CTS is the pits.

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

Hope the bracelet holders heal soon.

Diane Tolley said...

Oh, man! I do it too! Can I join your club? I have every other Tuesday off . . .

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

Noooo! Not carpal tunnel! How will we get our Daily Pearl?
feel better, my friend.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
I'm a picker-upperer and washerer-downer and stickerer of posters in the common rooms to the effect of "DO YOU DO THIS AT HOME????" and "WHAT DID YOUR LAST SLAVE DIE OF????"

Too much d'ya think?

That's why you got RSI/CTS - all that rubbin' an' scrubbin' an' bloggin'

No wait. Ignore that last bit...

Love ya. Heal well. Soon. YAM xx

Lulu LaBonne said...

Us picker-uppers are holding up the universe. Sorry to hear about the carpel tunnels, my work gives me a rigid neck.

haphazardlife said...

I don't clean houses, and yet I do the same thing in the washroom at work. People are disgusting.

Geo. said...

Hope wrist rest relieves your CTS, Pearl. I hate to think of you in pain.

vanilla said...

I cannot for the life of me figure out what is so darned difficult about putting detritus into receptacle designed for it. Streets, roads, restrooms, wherever.

jenny_o said...

Some people are just too big and important to pick up THEIR OWN TRASH. Or maybe they think they'll get cooties from THEIR OWN TRASH, which would be hilarious except it's so annoying :)

I hope your carpal tunnel subsides with rest. Take care of yourself.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Hope you heal fast.
I get kind of sick of picking up after others. If everyone could just pull their OWN weight, you know?

Perpetua said...

Oh, Pearl, I do hope rest helps those wrists of yours feel better. Carpal Tunnel can be really nasty. :-(

I enjoy all your posts, but your phone conversations with Mary are right at the top of my favourites list. I'm another who rams down the paper towels and mops up the spills. I just can't bear the mess.....

Kana said...

Gosh - seems hard, being a good person. Better give that miss for another decade...

She made you feel better in spite of yourself, didn't she? You two are so cute.

Indigo Roth said...

I have no idea what it is, but I'm not touching it. So there.

Daisy said...

I'm sorry to hear about your wrists! I hope you feel better soon.

I think Mary is a good friend to have around. :-)

Lin said...

I used to clean up after the folks at work and then they began to see me as their maid. I don't do it anymore--I let them deal with their own mess now. Ick.

Hope you are feeling better soon!

Linda O'Connell said...

I too, pick up the fallen clothes off racks, wads of towels on floors. People are gross. Hope your hands feel better soon and you do not have to have surgery. My daughter had to on both wrists. Take it easy.

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

I think the reason my brother asks me to dog sit has something to do with the fact that I clean up while there, I do hate a dirty bathroom

Elephant's Child said...

Your poor, poor hands. I do hope they heal quickly - and preferably without surgery.

The Savage said...

Here's to healing quickly...

River said...

I hope the wrists feel better very soon. According to Dr Sheldon Cooper the saying of "Ack" is followed by the eating of ice cream. You have ice cream, right?
I do the picking up, wiping down and squashing of the waste paper towel basket too. If I have a day off, I come back to twice as much. Clearly no one else does it when I'm not there. I don't understand how people can just toss another wad of towel on top of the overflowing basket and not think to squash it all down. which I did with my shod foot, by the way, I wasn't shoving my hands in there, no way.