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Tuesday, March 5, 2013

I'll Be Awake Around Noon - Talk to Me Then


“Did you have a good weekend? You all ready for work?”

Well, no. As a matter of fact, I’m not.

I would love to tell you that I am. Ready for work, that is. But the truth is, I am woefully unprepared.

I meant to be. I meant to be ready. But there was watching movies I'd already seen on Friday night. And then there was the washing and folding bonanza that was Saturday. There was the writing, the cooking, the refrigerator detailing, the transporting of the cats to their tap-dancing lessons.

Would you believe I completely forgot to leave time to get worked up about being a productive member of corporate America?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m one punctual and competent SOB; but I’m no good at that “You all ready for work?” question. It just doesn’t seem that there’s a good answer to it.

Small talk is not my forte.

I should work on having prepared answers.

“Work? I’m at work?”

or

“Ready for work? Oh, now, yeah. I can’t remember what they called it, but the doctors said that I can continue with my regular routine as long as I use a hand sanitizer and don't – oh, shoot – have you seen my face mask?”

or

“Yep! All ready for work! Say, could you cover for me for a couple hours this afternoon? The police – well, the less you know the better; but now that they’ve got the court order they’re going to take that sample whether I like it or not.”

It’s so important to have a good attitude, don’t you think?

Happy Tuesday, everyone.

37 comments:

Optimistic Existentialist said...

YES a good attitude is everything. "Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're right". ~Henry Ford.

joeh said...

I get all ready to go to work and then remember I'm retired.

I have to work on that.

NotesFromAbroad said...

I get excited about Mondays because my favorite bakery has a new delivery of scones ...does that count ?
Otherwise, for some people ( like us) Monday is just like Tuesday which is just like Thursday and Friday. Actually .. for us , every day is Saturday and Sunday.
Go ahead, hate me.

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

I always went to work but I was NEVER ready for it.

Leenie said...

Work? I’m at work?

Powdered Toast Man said...

What dance school do your cats attend? We might have run into each other.

klahanie said...

Hey Pearl,

Every so often, I come over to your site and leave one of my highly collectable comments. I reckon this aint one of them.

I'm always ready for work, Pearl. In fact, I reckon weekends get in the way of work. Monday is the bestest type day of the week! And a happy Tuesday to you, you lovely lady, you! :)

Your adoring, starstruck fan,

Gary!

Daisy said...

It's noon here Pearl...WAKE UP!!
Did you feed the cats?

Lin said...

The question is: Are we ever really ready for work?

I took today off due to "snow." :)

jenny_o said...

Yes, who ever invented that line anyway? Along with, how are you today. Nobody really wants to hear if you're not fine, but if you say "fine" they think you're ready for whatever they're about to hand you :)

Taking the cats to tap-dancing lessons - hilarious!

Geo. said...

I'd judge your attitude about work one of the healthiest I've heard.

Hilary said...

Clearly, you are always ready to blog. Lucky for us. :)

Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point said...

When asked "Are you ready for work?" I like to respond with "I hate you and your family."

Douglas said...

My usual answer to that question was a growl followed by a withering stare. Or... maniacal laughter.

Joanne Noragon said...

I like what I am doing at work right now so much I have often stay past noon, having arrived at nine thirty.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

That is one of those small-talk kinds of questions that always give me pause--do I answer truthfully, flippantly or politely? (But always with an adverb)

The Jules said...

"Nearly ready. Just need to do my lunges."

*luuuuuuuuuunge*

Shelly said...

I need to work on my Monday attitude. And my Tuesday attitude. Probably all seven of them, truth be told...

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

Ah, yes. I love to hear "Ready for work?" from people just about as much as I love to hear "Smile!"
How would you like a nice throat-punch, sir?
Grrr.

Kana said...

It's slightly blasphemous, but I have discovered what I choose to think of as the karmic opposite of TGIF - DCIOT, or Dear Christ It's Only Tuesday. It expresses the fatigue that living through Monday wrought upon you, as you straggle back in and see the bulk of the week still stretched out before you.

DCIOT, Pearl!

Pearl said...

Oh, what a funny lot you are. (YOu hear that? That was said with my English accent. Guv.)

I'm no good at small talk. I think people mean it when they say "How are you?" Took me decades to realize that the answer, unless you cannot control the bleeding, is "Fine, thanks. And you?"

fishducky said...

I would probably never be ready for work, even if I had a job!

Daisy said...

I'm always ready for home, but very rarely ready for work. Nobody ever asks if I'm ready for home though. And yes, a good attitude really helps. Ha!

Glen said...

I totally wasn't ready for Monday either -- Today wasn't so bad though because I took it off for a sofa birthday -- getting older just needs a bit of a run up

Linda O'Connell said...

Monday is a real kicker. By the way, are you taking cold meds?

bill lisleman said...

who has time for small talk? There's work to be done. Now if they asked you a big talk type question being that you're a Mom and have cats I'm sure you would have dispense with a quick answer.

Gigi said...

"Are you ready for work?" Hmmm...sounds like a trick question to me. Because I'm pretty sure my answer will always be "No. Now go away."

lime said...

i'm so with you on the stupidity of that question. i figure if you didn't punch the twit who asked you're as ready as you need to be.

The Elephant's Child said...

A woman I worked with always answered the 'how are you?' question both honestly and in detail. Which frequently caused me to laugh until I wept (discretely) as I observed peoples' reactions.

Red said...

Yes, some brains kick in around noon and some brains are early birders. Not enough is known about this topic. I liked the theme in this story.

HermanTurnip said...

I keep wishing, and hoping, and praying that I'll win the lottery and escape this persistent need to work, to slave, to kowtow. I swear, some day, when I do win the lotto, I'm going to drop out in the most bizarre way possible...perhaps hire a band to play me out as I tell the boss to where to stick it.

Now, if only I could bring myself to buy a ticket...

David Macaulay said...

wow you still fold - remarkable - always good to catch up with your blog Pearl

Eva Gallant said...

That, and "I have to meet with my parole officer on Mondays."

Rose L said...

Another line you could use:
"Work?? You mean I am not retired yet??"

River said...

A better question might be "Is work ready for Pearl?"
I was always ready when I worked in a shoe factory, I LOVED that job.
My years in customer service? Not so much.

klahanie said...

Gosh Pearl,

Your best English accent reminded me of a female version of Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins! " Room 'ere for everyone. Gather around." Cringe.

And Pearl, lucky you, you get a second comment from me. See, your life just gets better.....

Gary!

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

I'm reading about Monday on Thursday sometimes for me Monday comes around all to fast......