I've been included in a Minnesota anthology "Under Purple Skies", now available on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Monday, January 28, 2013

We'll Move Down South


A hangover and a nice, steady snowfall kept me busy yesterday.  Please accept this re-post from 2010.  


The escalators just inside The City Center weren’t running this morning.

I don’t need them, of course, having been walking on my own since the tender age of 11 months, but the sight of the non-escalating escalators gave me pause.

stop.

Hammer time
.

Since childhood, deserted streets have been my friends. Do I see zombies? I do not. I see freedom. This may shock you, but I’ve got a pretty sturdy little imagination on me and it absolutely loves scenarios like this…

I pause to survey the scene.

It is 6:45 a.m. and that whole end-of-the-world thing that we've been hearing so much about has finally happened.

I am, of course, on time for work.

I move in my usual direction, like a cow leaving the milk barn and heading to pasture, in search of coffee. Nine years I’ve been doing this. Something’s not right, and it’s not just the non-escalating stairs.

It is then that I realize that there’s no line at the Starbucks.

Dizzy with pleasure, I walk in like I own the joint. “’Mornin’, Joe,” I say to the coffee dispenser. I help myself to a cup, jauntily throwing a quarter in the tip jar. “There ya go,” I mutter. “Although I’m still unclear as to why I tip you...”

Lawlessly, I cram my pockets full of Splenda packets.

I take a seat, prop my feet up on the table in front of me. I am making lazy plans to head out to a Winnebago dealership and drive one south when it occurs to me that the escalator has started up...

I shake my head, the daydream ruined, and my eyes focus on the moving stairs. In reality, I have not gotten my coffee yet, and there is a man in a blue workman’s style uniform in front of me.

“Mornin’,” Pete says. You can tell it’s Pete because that’s what his shirt says.

“Got the steps moving again, I see,” I say.

He nods, almost bashfully. I smile at him to show him I mean no harm and proceed toward the Starbucks.

And I feel cheated when I see that there’s a line.

28 comments:

Shelly said...

If an apocalypse, be it cat or zombie, should ever happen, y'all are welcome down here in the south, where the temps are in the high 80's today and I am in sandals.

Come on down in that Winnebago. We've got some good Starbucks, too.

Shelly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Geo. said...

Yes, "...leaving the milk barn and heading to pasture." Very good work simile, Pearl!

Simply Suthern said...

Cats aint already Zombies?

Pearl said...

Shelly, sandals? Sand---? What's this now? Why do you torture me so??

Geo., thank you, and MOO.

Simply, I would ask them, but they ARE touchy li'l creatures. :-)

jabblog said...

Waking up from daydreams is such a shock . . .

jenny_o said...

You've got a "pretty sturdy little imagination"? I never realized that, so, yes, I am terribly shocked.

:)

Marsha Young said...

Well, good for you for waking up before the stairs started. Otherwise, you might have found yourself face down about half-way up.

Thank goodness for the coffee jolt, just before the stairs jolted, too! Somehow your subconscious just knew the whole "no line thing" was too good to be true. Have a great day - once your head feels better.

Unknown said...

You are actually at work by 6:45????? What time do you catch the bus, and are they even running then, asks she who doesn't hit the dirt running before 9.

vanilla said...

Once again your "sturdy little imagination" trumps reality.

Pearl said...

What can I say? I'm an early-riser -- and I tend to make stuff up. :-)

SparkleFarkel said...

"(I Feel Cheated) When I See That There's a Line"--> Hm. Put to a twangy tune, I bet it could make No. 1 on the Country songs billboard!

P.S. Get well soon.

Pearl said...

:-) Hangover has been defeated. Yay, me!

esbboston said...

If you move south it would make it much easier for us to do lunch. I have figured out which Vietnamese restaurant puts more meat in their phở. Today I am just finishing up cooking a batch of modi-fried gumbo. I added buffalo, pork sausage, red bell pepper, purple onion, cabbage, and jalapeno pepper. Mmmm ... oopz, I feel the need to hide, there are sirens going off in the neighborhood. Hide OR eat gumbo? Tough choice ...

Susan Kane said...

No line at Starbucks? Now THAT would tell me that this was a dream all by itself.

Connie said...

Oh well. The dream was nice for a bit. :-)

Pearl said...

Mmmmm. Modi-fried gumbo...

Unknown said...

Hangover, eh?! And, this being a Monday...what else could go wrong?! :D

darsden said...

Hope you are feeling better Pearl!

Belle said...

I love this story. It feels kind of weird when things don't look normal. One time all the lights in our city went out. Driving into the city felt scary!

Gigi said...

Pearlie girl! Got my book today - totally made Monday suck just a little less!

That sturdy little imagination is gonna take you places, I'll bet.

stephen Hayes said...

I love your sturdy imagination.

esbboston said...

&^)

Jo-Anne's Ramblings said...

Another great post that I had not read before.

Amber Star said...

Yes Pearl,
It was 78 degrees here today. I feel so cheated out of our little winter. We did get snow on Christmas Day, and a few nights in the upper 20s, but shoot...I have on shorts and sandals. It is 11pm and it is still 72F.

Commander Zaius said...

No line at Starbuck? I've got one for you along the same idea.

Since I work night shift I am almost always groggy, it comes with the territory but every now and then I have to get some coffee on the way to work to crank up my two-cycle mind.

Stopped by McDonalds, but their machine was dead so I rushed down to the local Starbucks. As I was driving up I saw every internal and external light on and figured it was still open. The fact that there wasn't any line was icing on the cake.

Waited at the drive-thru for ten freaking minutes until I realized they were in fact already closed.

That Janie Girl said...

Hammertime. You crack me up.

Pat Tillett said...

According to our weather standards out here in southern California, you have an apocalypse every winter...
You are made of tougher stock than I.
Leave it to good old Pete to screw up your morning imagination fest.