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Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Does This Feel Like It Hurts to You?


If my body calls – and it might – I think you should ignore it.

Lord knows I have.

I work too hard. Have I mentioned that before? I’m willing to bet I have: I’ll bet I’ve written about it previously – seems I take a perverse pride in it – not to mention that I suspect I repeat myself.

There’s a price to pay when you work too much.

That’s right.

I’ve developed carpal body syndrome.

I mean, sure. It started in my wrists, of course. After a good 30 years of typing – 30 years more than this particular monkey was designed for – carpal tunnel was probably in my immediate future anyway.

But the whole dang body?

Mary and I cleaned a 5300 square-foot house in 20 hours this weekend. I can’t speak for her, but every muscle in my body is pissed at me right now; I’ve found bits of plaster in my hair; I’ve worn my right thumbnail down to the quick scratching paint off the wood floors; and to top it off the owner tells us to send him an invoice for the work done.

An invoice?

I don’t like the sound of that. Who sends invoices? Wasn’t I clear about my preference for cash money, under-the-table work?

You’d think I’d be exhausted. And you’d be right. But I’m almost too tired to sleep, although I have caught myself staring straight ahead for long periods of time without blinking.

Which is kind of like sleeping, right?

Tomorrow? Yoga.

Tonight? A little TV, a hot bath, the three beers in the fridge, and if I’m feeling really crazy I’ll tap into that last swig of cough syrup that’s been sitting in the medicine cabinet since December.

Woo!

40 comments:

Joshua said...

Show up at his place with an invoice and a bag to walk away with cash. Strap a bat to your back for effect.

Simply Suthern said...

He was prolly thinking, " Silly girl, Of course I want her to clean under the table".

Ya gotta be specific.

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

Make sure that invoice says `payable upon presentation in cash`. I don`t like the sounds of it either.

Shelly said...

I'd tack on an administrative fee, on the invoice, for having to prepare the invoice. And possibly another fee for a spa massage, mani, and pedi to recover.

If he owns a 5300 square-foot house, he can afford that.

BamaTrav said...

Prostitution is an easy way to get up front cash. xo

Vicus Scurra said...

I agree with everyone, with the exception of BamaTrav. He may be correct, but it is outside the sphere of my experience. I am not going to take up prostitution until I am at least 85.

Perpetua said...

That is a HUGE house, Pearl (at least by British standards). No wonder all of you aches. He can afford to pay you cash and a bonus!

Diane Henders said...

Ouch! I love your term "carpal body syndrome" - I've suffered from that occasionally, too, so it's nice to know it has a name. :-)

Hope the aches and pains diminish with a liberal application of beer.

bill lisleman said...

"carpal body syndrome" - I like that syndrome name, CBS. Just think people would go to CBS clinics to watch TV. Ah women seem to know their bodies much better than men. Parts of my body are starting to reject me and could be falling off soon.

Jinksy said...

Go steady on the cough syrup! LOL ♥

jenny_o said...

Yep, when you don't have the energy to blink, it's bad. May I borrow your CBS diagnosis? I've had days when that would come in handy. I recall after a weekend working at a function that every bone in my feet hurt so bad I couldn't sleep. Fun :)

I hope the guy turns out to be honest, and quick with the payment.

Scarlet Blue said...

Hmmm... I am also with you on the invoice situation *looks around furtively*
Sx

jabblog said...

Write the invoice then add 20% - I'm sure the owner won't quibble;-)

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

Oh I loathe those types with the "send me an invoice" after you've told them about your payment method. They need you so badly till it's time to pay you, then it's all "send me a bill. Maybe I'll pay you sometime this quarter. (But probably not.)"

Joanne Noragon said...

Too big, for sure, and I'll bet you didn't quote enough. Add a gratutity to the bill.

Marsha @Spots and Wrinkles said...

Pearl,
Girl, you simply have gotta' learn to go easy - you could hurt yourself at this stage of life! Oh, wait ... you already have? Well then, the best thing to do is to make up a really funny post about it. ...Oh, you already did that too! :)
(Me, I only have carpal-brain syndrome. It hurts less, but confuses the heck out of me.)

NotesFromAbroad said...

I don't know Pearl girl, you need a vacation.
Come South .. waaay south. It is hot and the men are all beautiful and we sleep late at my house.

If that doesn't work , then I can only suggest that you get the largest scary man you know to deliver the invoice .

love you

joeh said...

Drop the bill in his mail box, tell him you expect cash and remind him that "We know where you live."

Belle said...

Since you work two jobs I can imagine you would be sore. Wish you didn't have to do that. I used to clean houses and fell down the basement stairs once. Yep, I ached for a week.

sage said...

Somedays I feel bad about loving the smiles and grins you provide through your experiences. But keep them coming as I need a few laughs. Invoices for cleaning services, really?

Red said...

A hard days work! Some people just don't get it.I like Shelly's idea. Tack on admin fee, transportation equipment, supplies coffee...you get the drift. Rip this guy off. Post about ripping him off.

Birdie said...

You need to add a nap to that list. Naps are always lovely.

Leenie said...

That kind of work should net much, much more that the kind where people wear flashy clothes, tell everybody where to go and drive shiny cars--wait, those are clowns. Heck, floor scrubbing window washers should still get paid more than clowns.

Daisy said...

Ouch. I ache just reading that. Hope you feel better soon.

Stephen Hayes said...

Carpal body syndrome? I think I've got a wintery case of this.

HermanTurnip said...

Go on, get yer drank on! ;-)

Rose L said...

Let us know if you get paid. I would go to collect with a big long sword strapped across your back, face painted in war paint, and wearing a kilt. Confuse and worry him!

Linda O'Connell said...

Add a little extra to that invoice for massage therapy.

wellfedfred said...

I guess you can't threaten to put the dust, dirt and fingerprints back?

My body feels carpal these days, too.

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

Sorry, I really didn't mean to make light of your pain, but when you said you had "carpal body syndrome", I laughed out loud.

An invoice? Sounds pretty bizarre. Good luck.

Jacquelineand.... said...

Tack on an administrative fee and go get yourself a massage; you deserve it after that!

Lynn said...

Hmmm - I hope you get your money quickly. He sounds like a jerk.

River said...

I love "carpal body syndrome". I'm going to quote that at work on the day I finally have enough and quit.
Add a large tip to the invoice, but get the cash when you present it. Hope the hot bath helps.

The Jules said...

If he doesn't pay, do you get to go and dirty his house up?

Eva Gallant said...

Meeting your employer under the table could result in backaches!

savannah said...

i hope y'all have already collected your money! xoxoxoxo

Teresa Evangeline said...

He'd better come through with a bunch of cash or I'm coming down there and, together, we'll convince him to cough it up.

Ah, yes a cough syrup high.

Teresa Evangeline said...

On second thought, can we get Mary to come with us?

Pat said...

I'm sitting here aching and wondering if it is too late in the day to wallow in a hot bath and a stress relief Radox blend of rosemary and eucalyptus.
and all I did was food shop.

Janice said...

Hope the cat didn't drink the beers before you got home!