I've been included in a Minnesota anthology "Under Purple Skies", now available on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Friday, January 18, 2013

A Little Color Wouldn't Hurt



Having lived successfully through a turbulent childhood, the 80s/90s/and yesterday, a motorcycle “club” (never say “gang”), and motherhood, I can safely say that I am not an addictive personality.

You’ll have to take my word for it.

That said, however, I’m going to have to take a long lunch today and run to Target. I may not be back as soon as you think I should, but please don’t worry. You’ll have to trust me on this. Something’s come up, something you don’t know about me, and something that I cannot hide from you for too much longer.

Maybe I should just tell you now.

You see, I’ve forgotten my lipstick.

Go ahead. Scoff. Shoot, if it wasn’t me, I’d be scoffing with you! But it is me, and I feel my pain.

Shhhhhh. Listen. Do you hear that? That’s the sound of my lips chapping.

My mother was a lipstick kind of gal. Not in a gaudy way – never! That would not do. But a quick trip to the grocery store? “Just a little color…” she’d mutter while applying her lipstick, trailing off as she peered earnestly into the mirror. A brush through the hair, a “little color” and she was gone, looking good and getting it done.

One got the feeling, watching her, that that “little color” was done not for her but for others.

Me?

Hardly!

While it is true that I have a healthy ego (actually masking the fear that everyone else is attending some fabulous party that I’ve not been invited to for reasons known only to them) and often feel that people are looking at me in silent judgment, the lipstick is not necessarily to add a dash of color for others on this bleak and humidity-wrapped April day.

I apply lipstick, all day, several times a day, because I like it.

I’m used to it.

I’m just used to it! OK? That’s all! OK? I’m just used to it! I like it! I mean, I could stop but it doesn’t affect my life or anything! It’s not like I’m leaving work just to –

Oooooh.

27 comments:

Shelly said...

You and me both, my friend. They'll have to pry the mascara and lipstick from my cold, dead hands one day, because that's the only way I'll give them up~

Buttons Thoughts said...

Do you think there is a lipsticks anonymous? I don't mean anything by it just a question, no pressure. OK :) B

Anonymous said...

Burt's Bees tinted lip balm. The one in the brown tube. In Rose.

Oh my.

Unknown said...

I have reached the age that "a little colour" is not enough. I'm with Haphazard on the Berts Bees, but I NEED Colour with a capital C so my lips don't fade into my face and make me look like a zombie. As addictions go, Pearl, yours isn't soooo bad. Still, an addiction is a heavy burden in any case. We're pulling for you :)
Rosemary

Anonymous said...

Relax...it's harmless.

Pearl said...

I appreciate the words of encouragement. :-)

Diane Henders said...

But I bet you could quit any time you wanted to... :-)

The Cranky said...

They have a 12 step programme for that.

esbboston said...

Its phenominimumal: I was scoffing eVen before you instructed me to do so, so yes, go ahead and join us ...

joeh said...

As a man you would think I could not identify with this addiction, but I can...Of course I do not use lipstick, but I just feel naked without my nylon stockings...shhh, don't tell.

jenny_o said...

See, this is why I never started wearing lipstick in the first place - too much effort required to keep replacing it. Along with the fact that it makes me look like a clown. That too.

Run along to the store. We won't tell.

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

Eyeliner, I can't be without eyeliner. Sans eyeliner, I think I look like one of the walking dead. I feel there is no need to frighten little children and small dogs with my naked eyes. Your lipstick addiction is understandable.

Chantel said...

Ah love, you just need to switch to the 12 hour wear kind! About the eleventh time someone thought my poor babies heads were covered in bruises--I realized my constant kissing was going to land me in the slammer if I didn't change something. You put the color on once, it lasts all day--smooching, food, and coffee cannot compete! :) XOX

Anonymous said...

Speaking of addictions, I have a friend who's addicted to brake fluid, but he claims he can stop any time!

River said...

Face it Pearl, you need help. Join Lipsticks Anonymous immediately and 'fess up.
My lips have natural colour, so I don't bother with lipstick, but I do use a sunscreen chapstick in summer and a dark chocolate&cherry flavoured gloss in winter to prevent dryness. But not every day. Sometimes I just forget.

Macy said...

See I had it drummed into me it was eyes or lips. So it's mascara and liquid eyeliner that I can't be seen in public without....
Where does old make up go by the way?? Think of all the times you reapply the stuff, and an hour or so later it's all gone... where????

Unknown said...

Everyone has their own thing young one. Personally, I never leave the house without some Oil of Olay and a canned ham.

Nancy/BLissed-Out Grandma said...

It's always something. I once left work to buy earrings. I almost skipped a funeral when I realized I'd left home without eye makeup. But lipstick? Until I retired, I used to carry two or three colors in my purse so I'd never be caught without. I blame my Scandinavian coloring; without makeup I disappear.

vanilla said...

Beloved Beautiful is appalled at the very notion of going into public with a naked face. Won't happen.

Marsha Young said...

Pearl,
Sorry to alert you, dear, but you must be told - you may have developed a tough case of labiaphobiatus - a condition that can get you into a LOT more trouble than just chapping.
Still, you make me LOL, so I am not going to report you to the lip police. I'm just that way.

Gigi said...

Well, if you are confessing, I suppose I must as well...I, too, am addicted. But, I've found that the 12 hour lip color keeps the addiction in check...to a point.

Connie said...

Well, you know, they say the first step in solving your problem is admitting that you have one... :-)

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

Oh, yeah, not just lipstick, but a clear flavored gloss on TOP of it, too... and it tastes and smells like strawberries!

Al Penwasser said...

I've tried, but I can never pull off the lipstick look.
It clashes with my pearls and corduroys.

Jo-Anne's Ramblings said...

I am a lipstick girl too, and have a few different shades mostly I wear shades of read but I have also brown which I wear when wearing brown and pink which I wear when wearing pink. I have tried lipgloss but I just not a gloss type of girl

Linda O'Connell said...

I too am an addict. I am defined by my defined lips and smart mouth.

Pat said...

A bit of stress and I lick my lips and boy are they sore just now and me fresh out of lip salve.
However I have discoverd that Clinique Chubby Stick which I have in stock is just the job.