I've contributed to perhaps the best humor compilation I've ever read. Available now on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Now with More Facial-Hair Observance!


There will be a bit of re-posting from now until New Year's.  Just too much going on!  For instance, did you know that my first book, "I Was Raised to be A Lert" is now available on Smashwords?  Download it to your Nook, your iPad, your pc for just $3.99!  "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" will soon be available as well, and both will be accessible soon via Amazon!

I have a friend who can be relied upon to be honest with herself.

“I’ve got a feeling,” she said recently, rubbing her chin with the ends of her fingers, her eyes glazed and staring into the distance.

“About?”

“Hairs. I’m going to be sprouting hairs somewhere on my face, and soon. I can just tell.”

“What, you get a tingly feeling, or what?”

“Something like that,” she said. “Ya weirdo.”

“You’re the one predicting hair growth,” I observed.

“Hmm,” she said, as if to concede a point. “I’ve got a theory.”

I waited. Mary’s theories are the stuff of legend.

“Hair Fairies.”

“Excuse me?”

“Hair Fairies,” she repeated. Her fingers ceased their exploratory trek across her chin. “Like the opposite of a Tooth Fairy. See, she doesn’t show up to take hairs away, she stops by to drop them off.”

“On your face.”

“And yours,” she said.

I felt my chin. “I don’t feel any,” I said.

“Give it time," she said thoughtfully. "The Hair Fairy usually comes at night, while you're sleeping.” She paused. “We should make a pact.”

I waited.

She waited.

I sighed. “OK. A pact. Regarding?”

“Stray hairs. If you see any on me, you’ll tell me, just like the spinach-on-the-teeth thing. And if I see any on you, I’ll tell you. Deal?”

Who can pass up that kind of deal?


We'll just add that to my resume.

29 comments:

bill lisleman said...

I remember you pact with Mary but I don't recall the Hair Fairy which would be a good name for a salon.

Pat said...

I'm so looking forward to getting them via Amazon. I'm unadventurous and tend to stick to tried and trusted.

TexWisGirl said...

congrats on your books!

i need a friend like mary.

Pearl said...

Bill, always thinkin', aren't ya?! :-)

Pat, I'll let you know -- and it will be soon! Having the books available via download will be so convenient for those who no longer buy paper books...

TexWis, thank you! And yes: everyone needs a Mary. :-)

joeh said...

Give 'em back! THat friggin fairy stole them from the top of my head years ago!

Kim Kasch said...

My sis just got a kindle for Christmas and is looking for book ideas - now I've got some to pass on to her. :D

And the older we get the more we get to know the hair fairy, which is a good name for a salon - love that idea too..

Pearl said...

joeh, :-) nicely done, Joe.

Kim, that would be lovely. Thank you, Kim!

BECKY said...

Hey Pearl! This is funny. You wrote about facial hair and I wrote about chin hairs! Tomato, tomaaato! :)

Pearl said...

Becky, we are on the same hairy wavelength. :-)

jenny_o said...

Just wait awhile - it starts to balance out, with less and less hair on legs and underarms. Kinda like puberty in reverse.

It's good to have a friend like Mary who you can trust with these vital details!

Beach Bum said...

I have a theory about the Hair Fairy. While he or she may bring unwanted facial hair to women I believe it takes hair away from men. I swear up until I was 36 years old I had every indication I was spared from the bald gene the men in my family suffer from.

We are usually hit in our late twenties with my brothers being prim examples. Its crazy but almost overnight I lost a significant amount of hair and its been downhill ever since.

Esther Montgomery said...

It would be disconcerting if people started to study my chin instead of looking into my eyes.

Jono said...

I'll have to tell the missus about the hair fairy.

sage said...

Send that hair fairy my way... I have plenty of hair on my chin, the top of my head is a field that could us a lot of cultivation.

Pearl said...

I feel I've done a service here today. :-)

Craver Vii said...

I have a pal who has always been very hairy. This young man occasionally does that string thing to bifurcate his unibrow. It looks unnatural, and I wish he would just leave it alone.

I've had discussions with my wife about ladies with whiskers. She believes that if they shave them off, the hair will grow in thicker. I believe that's just myth. What say ye?

Macy said...

I had a friend who made sure she got every stray facial hair lasered. As she pointed out, there was no point plucking them, because one day she'd be too senile to remember.. This level of organization and preparation for old age has eluded me.

Daisy said...

Friends like Mary are hard to find! Congratulations on your books, Pearl! Wishing you much success.

Eva Gallant said...

So that's it! Damned Hair Fairy!

HermanTurnip said...

Are "Hair Fairies" related to "Fingernail Fairies", "BO Fairies", and "Impulse Purchase Fairies"? I hate all of these guys...

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

Hair Fairies........never heard of them now I have learnt something new......lol

Stephen Hayes said...

That Hair Fairy is a feisty one! Happy Holidays.

Cloudia said...

DEAL!

Friendly Aloha from Honolulu,
Comfort Spiral
~ > < } } ( ° >
> < } } ( ° >
> < 3 3 3 ( ' >


Geo. said...

I've met the hair fairy. Before an operation 7 years ago she came into my hospital room and shaved off all my body hair before security arrived and chased her out.

Shell Flower said...

Now that's a true friend.

I was wondering where all those damn hairs were coming from.

Rose L said...

Now that's a friend.

Suldog said...

Since you're one of the most prolific writers I know, your repeats might be ones I haven't seen before. Since you're one of the funniest writers I know, they're worthwhile either way.

Diane Tolley said...

Here's to the Hair Fairies in my life. The very regular, consistent, dependable, generous Hair Fairies. Sigh.

The Elephant's Child said...

We should all have friends like that.