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Wednesday, November 14, 2012

One Never Really Finishes the Laundry, Anyway


Dolly Gee Squeakers has burrowed her way into a tunnel of pants, socks, and tee-shirts.

Like many of us, Dolly, a long-hair Siamese/badger mix, a cat with a penchant for souvenir ashtrays and menthol cigarettes, has parts of the house she prefers. 

And she prefers the bathroom.

Don’t get me wrong: bathrooms are a perfectly acceptable place to hang out.  I myself have had occasion, on weekend evenings that do not invite close examination, to spend time in a bathroom.  A bathroom is a quiet place, a place with running water and various half-spent tubes of lipstick, a place of over-the-counter medications and, if you’re lucky, a particularly well-thumbed copy of the book of Mysterious Events and Fantastical Creatures.

Did you know that the Jersey Devil has been sighted in recent times in the Pine Barrens of New Jersey?

If you spent any time in this particular bathroom, you would.

“Dolly.”

“Hmmm?”  The cat is up to her olfactory senses in the rich evocative smells of a used towel, and she looks up, her bright blue eyes slightly crossed.

Liza Bean Bitey, of the Minneapolis Biteys, a symmetrically stripe puss currently locked in a lawsuit with Donald Trump over a threat she may or may not have made the last time she was in New York City, saunters past the open bathroom door, pauses and backs up. 

“She’s been rolling in a pile of underwear and trousers for the past hour.  I suggest someone“ – and here she clears her throat delicately – “either do another load or put them back in the hamper.”  Liza Bean grins, emerald eyes shining.  “You’d think she never smelt the laundry before.”

Dolly Gee lies flat on her back in the middle of the laundry, arms and legs akimbo, the least seaworthy of canoes. She smiles in that silent kitty way of hers. 

Maybe I’ll leave the pile a little longer. 

40 comments:

Shelly said...

Love your writin', Pearlie-

Pearl said...

Thanks, Shelly. :-) There's just so much material out there!

Susan Williams said...

Kitty olfactory bliss is nothing to sneeze at.

Your yoga outfit, on the other hand....

Leenie said...

Sometimes you just have to let your roommates have their weirdness. It makes life easier for both of you.

Pearl said...

Susan, :-) I sweat like nobody's business!

Leenie, ain't that the truth! (Doesn't hurt that the little buggers are cuddly...)

Jacquelineand.... said...

You sweat catnip? I swear......Blue, Connelly and Harry got one whiff of this post and flopped over on their backs with glazed eyes before darting outside on a Cheetos mission.

Oh, did I say sweat? I meant perspire, or 'glow'.

Meri said...

I like Liza Bean Bitey's style.

Daisy said...

I most love the Lisa Bean and Dolly Gee stories. And the bus stories and the office stories....But most of all, the Lisa Bean and Dolly Gee stories.

Pat said...

I agree with Daisy:)

Pearl said...

Jacqueline, yeah, you should SEE me glow. :-) At yoga, I glow like a man...

Meri, Liza Bean is irrepressible.

Daisy, you've made me very happy. :-)

Pat, and you, too! Thank you. (And I shall pass this along to the kitties.)

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

The Kittehs like the stinky stuff. Our Rockie used to stuff his head into my husbands running shoes. Talk about where 'angels fear to tread'.

fishducky said...

What's so strange about rolling in laundry? My husband & I do it all the time!

Pearl said...

Delores, very nice. :-)

fishducky, I got a big grin for you, baby!

Joanne Noragon said...

Dolly Gee is a pure blood cat!

Inspector Clouseau said...

Pearl:

I'll tell ya. I am so happy that you write a piece every single day, because when I remember and find the time to visit you, just glancing at your blog instantly generates a smile, even before I start to read your current piece, because I know that I am about to enjoy myself.

I've been writing a blog for 4-1/2 years now, and my colleagues keep telling me that I need to learn how to lighten-up and write to entertain as well as inform. I only wish that I had your talent.

Better yet, give some thought to joining the Institute for Applied Common Sense.

Hope all is well.

R. Jacob said...

no doggies? can t-bone pay a visit?

Eva Gallant said...

I hope Liza Bean wins big against the Donald! He needs to be brought down a peg or two.

Al Penwasser said...

I hang out in the bathroom all the time.
Also in the Mens Room.
But, I'd better not catch anybody peeping.

wellfedfred said...

"weekend evenings that do not invite close examination"-- oh, yes. Best. Thank you.

sage said...

Your cats are entirely too pampered. One day when cats take over the world (maybe they have and I just haven't gotten the memo) I am going to blame you!

Interestingly, the ad below the comment box is for purple high heels

Stephen Hayes said...

Anyone who's in a lawsuit with Donald Trump has my support, even a kitty.

jenny_o said...

The worst is when the cat rolls in something actually putrid and then comes and wants some lovin'. And by putrid I am not referring to dirty laundry, no, I mean like a visitor's untouchable sneakers or the mop that went smelly because someone forgot to rinse and dry it in the heat of the summer ...

Love the line "the least seaworthy of canoes" - perfect description :)

Can't wait for your kitteh book!

jenny_o said...

P. S. Good luck to Liza Bean against the Donald.

Lin said...

Dolly Gee apparently doesn't have a teenage boy in her home. She wouldn't find the laundry half as enticing if she did.

Indigo Roth said...

Hey Pearl! You know, I've just realised that cats aren't like dogs. And a good thing too; there's only one thing they do like rolling in, and you wouldn't want it on your bed. Indigo =)

Antares Cryptos said...

Can't take credit for this:
"He shall overcomb"

Jenn Jilks said...

I love your writing!
Cheers from Cottage Country!

Geo. said...

Most considerate of you to pile laundry where Dolly could loll unhampered.

NotesFromAbroad said...

Thank you Pearl !!
I just sat down to read your blog and was reminded that I have towels in the dryer !
besitos, C

Juli said...

Mr. Chewey will sleep in anything. Even Tony's sweat drenched t-shirt from running his over-sized booty on the treadmill for an hour.

Even I want a stick to pick that sucker up...

HermanTurnip said...

We know full well how quickly a basket of fresh laundry can sprout cats. It's a phenomena that we've grown accustomed to. Fighting it only ends in tears and shed cat hair.

Amanda said...

Seems like it would be cruel to something she enjoys so much!

Linda O'Connell said...

you must be saving a fortune in catnip.

Jimmy said...

After rolling in the laundry I have actually seen our little Dachshund Dixie walk into the living room wearing my wifes panties, and properly also mind you Ha Ha

Cloudia said...

ah the bathroom-sanctuary!

glad you love the Joisey Devil as I do, dear Pearl (Momi = Pearl in Hawaiian)


Aloha from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral

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Glen said...

Yep I'd leave it another day - as long as you can still climb to the toilet all is well :-)

River said...

Yes, leave the laundry for another day or two. Keep the kitties happy.

Molly said...

Someone left me a comment recently agreeing [I think] that feeling obligated [as in NaBloPoMo] to post a blog a day for a month, especially if desperation reduced one to "cat updates" was not for us. I found myself nodding vigorously, being a recent drop out from this year's effort.

But then I came here and am still wiping my tears!

You have redefined "cat updates" for me. I'll eagerly read one every day if they are this hilarious...

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

Your book about the cats is gonna be dy-no-mite!

Rose L said...

My cat loves to lie on her back, sprawled out like a half-deflated beachball.