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Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Lean to the Left! Lean to the Right! Stand Up Sit Down Fight Fight Fight!; or Oooooh, I Won’t be Doing Any of That…


I took part in a three-hour yoga/boot camp charity event Sunday, an experience for which I paid $20.

The heat was hot; the bending was terrific; and at one point I hopped between the rungs of a ladder placed on the floor, rather energetically, I might add, to the pounding rhythmic strains of a group I shall never be able to identify.

We did it for the homeless.

The lousy homeless!

So I’ve told you all of that only to tell you this:  It is two days later, and I cannot stand up. 

Or sit down.   

Or flex anything beyond lifting aspirin to my lips. 

I exaggerate only slightly.

It’s fascinating, being muscle-sore from one end to the other.  There is particular fun to be had when I must walk from, say, my desk to the printer.  It is what I have come to see as a Great Exertion to lift myself up out of the chair, a move now requiring the use of both arms and the expulsion of a soft – but feminine!—grunting noise.

Once up, there is the challenge of forward ambulation, something that requires far more effort – and more feminine grunting! – than the side-to-side hobble I’ve been forced to adopt.

As you can imagine, it’s quite a look I’ve cultivated for myself.

The last time I was this sore was the 108 Sun Salutations Amy and I did last New Year’s.  The thinking, I believe, is that after 108 Sun Salutations, you can do anything.  Unfortunately, after raising one’s arms up over one’s head 108 times, this is not true, as I discovered the very next day when I attempted to raise them again to brush my hair.  I eventually accomplish this by laying my head on the brush and moving it back and forth until the tangles were out. 

You can just imagine how my lipstick looked that day.

Sunday’s efforts were for a good cause, however, and I really shouldn’t complain.  A lovely chunk of change was raised for people who may never know about it, and that is, perhaps, as it should be.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve printed out a number of documents I need to go pick up.

I wonder if anyone would notice if I just fell off my chair and rolled to the printer?

30 comments:

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

Just roll yourself over in the chair...

Shelly said...

As long as you can still grunt femininely, you're going to be OK.

Good for you, Pearlie-

Pearl said...

Delores, you're taking all the fun out of technical Friday (us being "off" the next four days!). :-) Honestly, I hadn't thought of just rolling over there. Funny...

Shelly, I am quite the feminine grunter. :-) It's a gift.

Saimi said...

HA!!! Yeah, as our Spanish foreign exchange used to say about his H.S. weight class,

"Saimi my muscles are sick."

No Pep, your muscles are sore.

Saimi, you must understand me, my muscles are SICK...

Hope your muscles get better soon Pearl! I feel your pain!

Pat said...

I don't feel your pain - fortuitously - but sympathise deeply.

Pearl said...

Saimi, :-) My muscles are sick!

Pat, and yet no one comes to roll me down the hall to the printer. :-)

TexWisGirl said...

thanks for the laughs!

Simply Suthern said...

Nothing messes up a booty camp like throwing yoga in the mix.

Geo. said...

Enjoyable post! I love the hair-brushing trick. Yoga,boot camp and charity strike me as separate and distinct enthusiasms. Combining them would make anybody sore.

fishducky said...

I thought that was how EVERYONE brushed their hair! I'm thinking of motorizing my computer chair!! How did you manage to brush your teeth?

Kana said...

I feel ya, buddy - http://raginanchor.blogspot.com/2011/04/my-new-extreme-sport-sitting-down.html - I wish I'd known about the hair-dragging secret to hair brushing! You're a visionary.

Jenny Woolf said...

I thought yoga was supposed to be all spiritual, I'm disillusioned now you tell me it was like a boot camp. Hope you feel better soon!

Eva Gallant said...

Sounds like you'd have been better off had you given the yoga boot camp the boot!

Janice said...

OMG you made me remember so many things. Playing badmitton all day when I was a teenager and not being able to brush my teeth the next morning. But the grunting noises is the best of all. Pearl, there are no FEMININE grunting noises. And just get used to it, you've reached that 'certain age' and will forever more be known to make "those old lady noises".

Susan Williams said...

I love your description of how you finally managed to brush your hair. Made me laugh!
Enjoy those aspirin, the health you are maintaining, you disciplined girl, you!
No, I will not feel your muscle.

Susan Williams said...

I love your description of how you finally managed to brush your hair. Made me laugh!
Enjoy those aspirin, the health you are maintaining, you disciplined girl, you!
No, I will not feel your muscle.

Leenie said...

But, Hey! You qualify for a Jazzy Schmazzy--quality mobility at the lowest price--soak the taxpayers if you qualify for medicare Power chair. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

jenny_o said...

Which is why I never go faster than a semi-brisk walk, so there are never those painful "days after".

Of course, lack of exercise might cause me to have fewer days, period, so perhaps I'm not really on the right track with that.

Good on ya for the charitable yoga event! You should be fully recovered by Christmas.

Stephen Hayes said...

Your post reminds me of the many times in college when I was so hung over that I brushed my teeth holding the brush steady and moving my head back and forth. Happy Thanksgiving.

Friko said...

Who said money was all you had to give?
Without blood, sweat and tears it’s not even a sacrifice!

Gigi said...

And this is why my exercise consists of turning the page as I'm reading. On a really good day, if I'm "really" feeling it, I might even lick my finger first.

NotesFromAbroad said...

Pearl, please please please, before you do any rolling, make sure someone takes photos.
I have to see it .
Love, C, who does not exercise. I grew up in the South, I know better.

Susan Kane said...

Do you have a fishing pole handy?

vanilla said...

Oh! Oooh! Ouch!

Doing good for someone until it hurts, yet feels so good.

Joanne Noragon said...

Will this be a lesson to you? I doubt it.

Elizabeth Rose Stanton said...

I'm sore and exhausted just reading this. Now my fingers hurt from typing
;) Glad your efforts (and pain) were all for a good cause. Happy T-day!

Linda O'Connell said...

Ow! I ache from reading about YOUR exercise. A good deed though for sure.

Red said...

A video of this would have been awesome! However your heart is in the right place to help with the homeless.

Diane Tolley said...

I feel your pain! In college, I had to run one mile. Me. Who had never run more than 50 feet in her life. I was so stiff and sore, I had only two positions. Prone. Or standing. There was nothing in between. I don't know how I got from the one to the other. Going up and down stairs was accomplished by doing it sideways. It was a miserable week.
On a different note, That is how I always brush my hair. It saves time while I'm brushing my teeth . . .

River said...

Just let the hair do its own thing for a day or three. Start a trend.