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Friday, October 26, 2012

No Curling Iron for You!


All I wanted to do was fix my hair.

And you wouldn’t let me. 

Thursday morning’s weather was a scandalous mixture of cold rain and gusty winds with just the right hint of snow.  Frankly, it was marvelous.  For too long have we endured summer, people, and I for one will not stand idly by while warm air and sunshine continues to intrude on the natural progression of the seasonal –

Aw, rats.

OK.  It wasn’t marvelous.  It’s the end of October, for cryin’ out loud.  The bus stop was cold and wet; let’s not candy-coat it.

It’s not all pickled herring and lefse here in the Land of Sky Blue Waters.

And so while I am not entirely offended by the definitive entry of what we optimistically refer to as a “shift in temperatures”, I am rather insulted by what it did to my hair.

Fuzz.  I have a head full of fuzz.

Fortunately, I’d foreseen this turn of events and had purchased a second-hand-store curling iron some months back.  Direct from the 80s (I believe it was once seen on the set of Dynasty), the poor little monster takes a good 15 minutes to warm up.

And so I turn it on, leave it in the women’s bathroom, and go back to my desk.

Twenty minutes later, I am back.  I cannot, in good conscience, inflict today’s hair on the people around me.  They are blameless and should not be punished.

But someone has unplugged it.

Frowning, I plug it back in, go back to my desk – only to return 20 minutes later and find that it’s been unplugged again.

Cold.  And of no use to anyone.

And so I plug it back in.

This time, of course, I am detained by, of all things, work, and am unable to return to my curling iron for almost an hour.

Someone has, of course, unplugged it.

“You should hang out in the bathroom,” Tamra says.  “Catch whoever is doing this.”

I make a face at her.  “Bathroom skulker,” I say.  I shake my head.  “Too sordid.”

She looks at me with the measured coolness that is Tamra.  “It doesn’t look that bad.”

I stare at her, petulant. 

“Oh go back to your desk,” she grumbles good-naturedly. 

And so I wink at her, wander off, back to my cubicle, back to trapping my wiry, wayward hair behind my ears and frightening small interns with the Ghost of Hair Present.

All I wanted to do was fix my hair.

26 comments:

purplestarr said...

I use a hair straightener at my desk at work... in fact I just plugged it in. No worries about anyone unplugging it... but I do have a corner cube so its a little easier to do sneaky things like that and flossing my teeth.

Pearl said...

purplestarr, that's an excellent idea: both the iron at the desk AND the flossing. :-) You can never floss enough.

George Turnbull said...

Get your hair cut like mine, Pearl.

Landing strip straight down the middle!

Pearl said...

George, as attractive as it is on you, I'm gonna play this out, see how long I have hair. :-)

Shelly said...

Someone is either very conservatory of electric power at your office, or has a fear of things hot.

I, too, tend to little grooming things at breaks. I am constantly digging blindly in my purse for lipstick and other makeup or brushes. Sometimes, though, when I'm talking and pulling, I don't always pull out what I think it is. I've learned to look carefully in my purse before I snatch it out in front of others.

Pearl said...

Shelly, ah, the contents of a woman's purse. Who knows what lurks?

Leenie said...

Glad my part of the the world isn't the only place where the slings and arrows of rotten weather take humans down on mass quantities. Misery loves company.

Maybe a tazer sort of curling iron you could carry in a holster?

vanilla said...

"All I wanted to do was fix my hair."
Or set the place on fire. ;-)

Pearl said...

Leenie, we've entered the "test of fortitude" portion of our existence. It's probably good for us, right? :-)

vanilla, no! no no no. The whole lousy bathroom is entirely inflammable! Whoever this person is, could they not just let this rather luke-warm iron of a curling iron rest on the countertop?!

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

There is always someone who thinks they know best....you need a wee sign that says 'returning in 20 minutes...this damn thing had better be hot'.

TexWisGirl said...

the dance of the curling iron.

Pearl said...

Delores, I like that very much.

TexWis, isn't it, though? Have to admit I was tempted to lurk a bit, see who felt that adults could not be trusted with something so dangerous as a curling iron set on a countertop...

esbboston said...

Have you been to Starbuck Minnesota to see the world's largest lefse?

Pearl said...

esb, the world's largest lefse?! No. And I love lefse...

Chantel said...

Ah love, you've found the first item for your Christmas list! For $20 at Target, your secret Santa can make your day with a brand-spank-me-new cordless curing iron...

Boo hiss at the women who wake up with great hair.

Slyde said...

This sounds like the dialog i have with my wife just about every morning :)

jabblog said...

Sheesh (not a word I commonly use!) buy a scarf or a snood - or even, in desperation, a hair net . . . ;-)

Geo. said...

Try being half Portuguese. I am a ulotrichous man who only found happiness when I got a job that required a hat. Curling irons unplug spontaneously when I am near. Your report from 2000 miles away is a record.

Jacquelineand.... said...

There's a reason I'm rooting for the return of women's hats...

Gigi said...

Really? October makes your hair frizz? Mine loves October and will only lie flat during that month. The rest of the time it is one, hot mess. I kid you not.

jenny_o said...

This is what post-it notes were made for : "If this curling iron is still plugged in at x time (give yourself at least 30 minutes) you may unplug it - and not one second before"

Brian Miller said...

i am sure your hair does not look too bad...couldnt you just plug it in at your desk to get warm? i am a man...i know little of hair thing...my mohawk stands or it doesnt...

Rose L said...

I can imagine someone seeing the curling iron and thinking "who left his plugged in. Not very safe." as she unplugs it. Probably a different person entered after you plugged it back in and thought the same thing...and so it went. You should have left a threatening PostIt note by the iron!!!

The Elephant's Child said...

Interns should be frightened so it was all for the best. Really it was.

River said...

Hair Schmair; what I want to know is, what the heck is a Leftse?

Eva Gallant said...

I'm with River--what the hell is a Leftse????