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Sunday, October 7, 2012

I Believe a Strongly Worded Rebuke May be in Order


I’m not naming names here – particularly since that would run counter to my desire to remain blame-free – but for the third day in a row, someone has forgotten to make my bed.

The bedspread is heaped at its foot, the sheet still thrown back as if I’ve just left, and there is an open book on my pillow.

This is not how it looks in the magazines.

It’s difficult, isn’t it, working full-time and trying to maintain a place. I’ve sold the day by the hour, the nights are for writing, the weekends for friends and family.

People think I’m funny – for a variety of reasons that don’t bear close inspection – but I’ve been known to take vacation days just to stay home and rearrange furniture.

My floors, for example. When were they last scrubbed? I’m thinking that if you cannot recall the last time you scrubbed your floors, it’s been a long time indeed. My kitchen floor is dotted with tiny, chalk outlines of the items that have fallen and died there.

And what of my closet? The floor of it is no longer visible, and if we push through my wardrobe far enough, you’ll see that there’s an upright-walking goat back there, just beyond the trees.

People don’t just make that stuff up, you know.

Ah, well, autumn is here; and that’s what it’s for: a seasonally enforced buckling down, a reminder that winter lurks and is thinking, casually, of killing you.

You’ll, of course, want to tidy up for it.

32 comments:

savannah said...

i really hate it when the servants don't show up, sugar! what's even more important, they need to get my winter things out and ready for me. whatever will we do, sugar? *pouting* xoxoxoxo

Paula Wooters said...

Clean? Organize? Two dirty words too many!

Chef Files said...

Surely, this the only reason why men get married?

Teresa Evangeline said...

What a great post! I enjoyed every word. Fabulosity.

fmcgmccllc said...

Mostly the autumn thing is all my fault as the only clean clothes in my house are summery cottons and linens. As soon as I get the sweaters washed it will warm back up.

fishducky said...

A word of warning--DO NOT keep your computer in the bedroom. You do not want to take a chance on not being able to find it & depriving your readers of your brilliance!!

Vapid Vixen said...

I second Fishducky's comment!!!!!

Geo. said...

An engaging meditation, Pearl. I don't think it's civilized to make the bed the same day you get up.

Linda O'Connell said...

The one and only day that I don't make the bed I get company. Chalk outilnes on the floor...lol.

esbboston said...

I am thinking of halfing and having salmon today. But I don't know if I wiLL be pleasantly surprised when I get out of bed and go in the kitchen to find an already prepared non-salmon meal. I hear beeping of a microwave oven and the gentle snores of Cooper and it is time to venture forth bravely into a coldest day of the year since June 21st house. Wish me lunch, ooh, I heard a rattle of a utensil on a pan, someone is cooking for me. Oh, typo, that should have been Wish me luck. Ah, Cooper is awake, our journey begins ....

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

A clean house is overrated. Unless you happen to have one, in which case you might really enjoy it. I wouldn't know. :-)

Twisted Scottish Bastard said...

I've never understood the reason to "make the bed". It's going to get rumpled again that evening, so why bother. AND it makes all the lovely trapped smells disappear.

Love the tiny chalked outlines.

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

There's more important things in life than a nicely made bed.

middle child said...

All well said. You are LIVING in the time you are alloted. I only caution you that given what you have said here, in the spring you may find a semi-melted snowman in the back of your garage!

Juli said...

I asked for bacon this morning. 30 minutes later I wake to find everyone has eaten but me, and there is no bacon.

Ingrates.

I went back to my unmade bed for another two hours.

When I woke, two of the men were gone, and there was still no bacon.

Stephen Hayes said...

I'm not sure I'd go so far as to say Winter wants to kill us, but it does make us consider what's important. Great post.

Indigo Roth said...

Hey Pearl! Winter is going to casually kill me? Well, I wish it'd said something. Or sent a postcard. This lack of consideration may be the unanticipated death of me. Roth x

Eva Gallant said...

I think bed-making is highly over-rated.

sophanne said...

I seem to have misplaced a clever comments but wanted to let you know that your words made me laugh and smile wryly this evening. Winter is coming t kill you, best to tidy up. Maybe it's because I took a day off to vacuum tomorrow.

NotesFromAbroad said...

Oh, fiddle dee dee ...
That just proves you need a larger closet.
And a maid.
If the maid doesn't sound good to you, then put on a couple of pairs of fluffy socks and slide around the floors ... there ... no dust. Be sure you have good music on.
I make the bed. I do the laundry.
I think that is quite enough work for anyone.
Don't worry sweetheart, times will change, remember what my aunt said .. when someone said to her, she spent all her time playing with her children instead of picking up around the house... She said, the children will grow up and move away ... the dust can wait.
love you.

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

I used to be a real stickler for beds being made every day, house thoroughly cleaned every week, blah, blah. Operative words there are USED TO BE. Super post. I especially like the image of tiny chalk outlines on your kitchen floor.

Rose L said...

No one ever makes my bed either.

jenny_o said...

Sounds like you have your priorities right - feed the body, feed the mind, feed the soul.

I love this, and not just because my place looks the same, and for the same reasons :)

You'll get a round tuit eventually!

The Elephant's Child said...

jenny_o is right about your priorities - you have the important ones correct.
My home also looks that way - and I don't even leave it to go to work anymore. Or very often anyway. And at the end of the day I want to have bigger regrets on my death bed than housework omissions.

Tempo said...

Being a bachelor myself I clean the floors every month whether they need it or not.

River said...

I'm going to stand up and proudly say that I make my bed every morning that I'm not stripping it to wash the sheets. Simply because I hate getting into an unmade bed.
I never tidy up for winter though, rooms filled with clutter seem warmer somehow. It's summer I tidy up for. Uncluttered surfaces, clean, open floor spaces, they seem cooler.

Pat said...

I like the bed to have good airing so pull everything back, open French windows and put the pillows on the balcny. Which is fine most days except when I forget and find the heating on and the bedroom as I left it.

Almost Precious said...

Sad isn't it ? How come that little old shoemaker was lucky enough to have elves come in at night to make shoes for him but those elves can't be bothered to swing by and make up someones rumpled bed?

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

I finally got my HOUSE in order. Now I have to take care of the dang garage.

Diane said...

I confess that I make my bed every day. If it looks lumpy, it's because my Husby is still in there . . . snoring.

Roshni AaMom said...

Your cleaning staff is shockingly slack!

Heidrun Khokhar, KleinsteMotte said...

Time to find those snow boots and parkas.
Housework at any time can be a bore but seasonal changes help inspire the need to get on with it.