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Saturday, July 28, 2012

The Lighting Must Be Different At Home


My hair predicted – correctly – that the weather this morning would be damp and warm with a good chance of frizz.

It has since then assumed all the texture and gloss of twine.

It’s another case of you-should‘ve-seen-me-when-I-left-the-house.

Sometimes I have whole weeks like that.

Today, for example: not only am I questioning what might’ve possibly happened to my hair between when I went to bed last night and when I awoke but I am also wondering about my wardrobe in general. Why, prior to my leaving the house this morning – and according to my mirror which has never lied to me before – I would've sworn to you that my outfit was fashionable, well suited to me, and ever-so-casually elegant.

This illusion promptly disappeared once I reached the office. What was I thinking? This doesn’t look good on me at all! And what is this? A blue sock and a black sock? A quick check tells me that my shirt is on right-side out, which is always a plus in the corporate environs, but the two-different-colored sock thing has me a little concerned.

Two different socks. Humph.

I’ve caught myself frowning at my feet more than once this morning, as if there’s a chance that my socks will notice my displeasure and do something about it. I doubt it, though, as I’ve been displeased with my footwear in the past and it’s come to naught.

Although, come to think of it, I did once have a pair of high heels turn unexpectedly into flats, which was both exciting and uncalled-for.

Perhaps I should stop being so heavy-handed with my feet and just leave them be before one of them decides to get ambitious and start branching out. Next thing you know, I’m cutting little sidecars into my shoes like Grandma did.

I may want to re-think my position on colored socks and their relation to reality…

Note to self: Buy feet something thoughtful but not too expensive. We can’t afford to lose these two so early in the game.

37 comments:

Paula Wooters said...

Mis-matched socks? I once gave a tour of a school to a group of 15 prospective parents, only to realize later my shirt was on inside-out. It was a moment of pride and wonder.

savannah said...

give them a pedicure, sugar! feets like that sort of pampering or so my size 8.5 tell me! xoxoxoxo

Geo. said...

Always keep an extra black sock with you, exchange it for blue when needed --next time vice versa.

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

It's those darn flourescent lights in the office.....when you get home you will look just fine again.

R. Jacob said...

On occasion I had been known to mismatch dark blue and black socks first thing in the morning. I solved that problem by throwing all my socks away and buying brand new black socks. Problem solved

Jeanie said...

Mis-matched socks are haute couture with the 10 year old crowd......usually in colors a little brighter than blue or black though.

Lisa Golden said...

Your humor is razor sharp this morning. The perfect breakfast companion.

I'm glad it's not just me with the wonky home mirror and lighting. Mine do lie to me.

fmcgmccllc said...

I recall sitting in the lobby on a sales call and looking down to discover I had 2 different shoes on.

Hannah Denski said...

Meow! I want to know how is it... that we feel all fashionably cool in the morning mirror, yet hopelessly unfashionable later... or is it really true that the mirrors lie?!

As far as socks go... I've given up on colours long time ago - especially when the washing machine keeps eating one of the pair... : ) x

sage said...

Okay, it's time that you get a new mirror. As for socks, I know a particular teenage girl that would think you're being fashionable wearing two different colors/patterns of socks... No, I haven't yet tried it yet, especially not with a suit! In my next life, I want a job I can report to in flip flops

vanilla said...

Oh, the perils of selecting wardrobe under artificial light, especially if blues and blacks are involved. Stop it.

Symdaddy said...

OK, so two different coloured sock do not, in any way,shape or form, mean the end of the world.

Having said that ... I don't think I'll ever talk to you again for such a fashion faux pas!

Joanne said...

Like Jeanie said. My ten year old granddaughter connives to have mismatched socks, while her older sisters tell her that is so not cool now.

joeh said...

I was often guilty of the sock thing...i never learned to not get dressed in the dark!

funny!


cranky old man

Leauxra said...

Mismatched socks? That is something I would notice. Mismatched shoes, on the other hand (or would that be foot), is something that I have done more than once. Usually, when some big corporate bigwig is in town.

You would think it would be noticeable, but I tend to not notice these things until lunchtime.

Eva Gallant said...

I once walked through the parking garage on my way to the office with the back of my flared skirt tucked into my pany hose. Thank goodness a kind lady caught me as I entered the parking garage elevator, so I was able to correct the problem before I entered the building!

Vapid Vixen said...

I've had mornings where I got to work only to realize I forgot to put underwear on. Spent my lunch break running to Target.

bill lisleman said...

apparently many women buy their feet colorful polish. some can even afford jewelry
I don't think male feet are as high maintenance but being that you are a woman you are stuck with female feet. all the best

klahanie said...

Hey Pearl,
As promised, the 'eagerly anticipated' comment from me has finally arrived.
You do realise that missing socks which ends up in having mismatched socks, is one of life's huge mysteries, along with missing pens and combs. Although, in my case, forget the comb! :)
Your starstruck fan and author of "My Previous Book", Gary

Stephen Hayes said...

I've never thought about colored socks and their relation to reality. Must ponder this....

NotesFromAbroad said...

Honey, I simplified my life way back.

Summer - no socks
Winter - black socks

I feel so free .. really.

Gigi said...

My mirror lies to me on a daily basis. When I leave the house in the morning I am looking very fashionable; by the time I arrive at the office less than thirty minutes later I look dowdy.

I definitely need a new, honest mirror. Any idea where I can find one?

The Elephant's Child said...

I avoid my mirror for fear it will tell me the truth.
Someone I once worked for came to work in odd shoes one day - both grey, but markedly different.

Raymond Alexander Kukkee said...

Pearl, remember with the two mismatched socks, you can beam with pride. Tell'em you have another pair just like it at home. Spares. Luxurious spares.... ":)

Raymond Alexander Kukkee said...

Pearl, remember with the two mismatched socks, you can beam with pride. Tell'em you have another pair just like it at home. Spares. Luxurious spares.... ":)

Raymond Alexander Kukkee said...

Pearl, remember with the two mismatched socks, you can beam with pride. Tell'em you have another pair just like it at home. Spares. Luxurious spares.... ":)

jenny_o said...

Goodness knows I'm trying to concentrate on the subject at hand but I just keep returning to your line: "...I did once have a pair of high heels turn unexpectedly into flats, which was both exciting and uncalled-for." Hilarious!

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

Both my hubby and my grandson Blain were mismatched socks often why because they can only find one of each sock so they were them and go with the arugument that once their feet are in their shoes no one should notice their socks don't match............lol

River said...

As I see it, you have three options.
1. give up socks altogether.
2. buy socks in one colour only.
3. mix up all your socks and declare your feet are free-spirited.

Linda O'Connell said...

"Side cars..." Thank you for the wonderful image of my late mom ;) Black and blue socks you can hide, not a black and navy shoe as I once wore.

Douglas said...

Two things:

1. My mirror lies to me all the time. For instance, it keeps reflecting the image of me at 19.

2. A tip: keep a spare set of socks at work.

3. (bonus tip!) Neatly fold (or roll up) socks in matching pairs (keep flashlight handy for color matching) when putting them away.

4. (bonus bonus tip!) Make sure your pants are long enough to cover your socks.

Pat said...

At least you are used to the city and can blend in.
I have to go up to London and wondering how I can be comfortable,
appropriate and not a total bumpkin.

Macy said...

Socks in July????
Heads back to earlier posts to see if Pearl really has moved to Scotland...

Indigo Roth said...

Hey Pearl!

"Buy feet something thoughtful but not too expensive. We can’t afford to lose these two so early in the game."

This, I believe, is Wisdom.

Roth x

Pat Tillett said...

Now I may not have the best memory, but I'm pretty sure you took at least one of your fellow bus riders to task for wearing socks that did not match. Perhaps, you are starting to follow the morning heard?

Amy said...

Oh, sorry about those heels. I once tested my powers of mental telepathy to curse all heels as I have wide,clumsy feet and cannot tollerate them for more than five minutes. It's good to know it worked! (huffs on knuckles)

Susan in the Boonies said...

I'll never forget the Wednesday evening at church when I was sitting with my mother, and I noticed that not only had she used purple eyeliner instead of eyebrow pencil on her eyebrows, but she also had on two mismatched tennis shoes.

There is more to this story than you want to hear.

Please, my darling Pearl, pay attention to your attire.