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Sunday, July 22, 2012

One Adam 12, One Adam 12; or The Cat Wants to Borrow What, Now?

The cat lies in the shaded cool of the ferns, her eyes dreamily half-lidded. An hysteria of sparrows, commuting from one yard to the next, pass overhead, just feet from curved-claw death.

Liza Bean Bitey (of the Minneapolis Biteys) yawns elaborately, a show of white teeth and curled, pink tongue.

“Silly birds,” she pronounces.

Liza Bean blinks lazily against the dappled sunshine, a study in nonchalance.

Apropos of nothing and seemingly directed into the air: “Will the car be available this evening?”

I set my book down, stare at her until she meets my eye.

She is smiling. Times are tough, and her habit of returning the car with a full tank of gas does not go unnoticed.

And she has noticed this.


Liza Bean Bitey (of the Minneapolis Biteys) rolls on to her side, stretches luxuriously; and, in what all the world would perceive to be a casual manner, licks the inside elbow of an extended front leg.

“Why,” she repeats, the word rolling around in her mouth. “A child’s question,” she pronounces.

I sigh. “What time do you need it,” I deadpan.

She smiles. “Ten-ish?”

“Ten-ish?” It’s my turn to repeat. “That’s a little late, don’t you think, for a Sunday night?”

Liza Bean first widens – then narrows – her eyes. “Such manners,” she murmurs.

“Fine,” I say, retrieving my book, first-hand narratives from the Great Age of sailing. “Don’t wake me when you come back.”

She smiles. “Mmm,” she says, in a tone of voice to which I cannot ascribe an emotion.

Liza Bean stands, stretches, sticking one hind leg out stiffly behind her, then the other. “You know,” she says thoughtfully, “it’s been ages since we had a drink together. You busy after work Monday? Outside of yoga?”

I shake my head in the negative. “What do you have in mind?”

“Welllll,” she says, “I’ve not been to Psycho Suzi’s since they moved it to the river. I hear delightful things.” She pauses. “My treat.”

Now it is my turn to widen, then narrow, my eyes.

Liza Bean holds up a paw. “I’ll hear no more about it,” she says with a small, dismissive wave. “After yoga it is.”


If anyone is looking for me later, I’ll be at the bar.

With a cat.


Boom Boom Larew said...

Hmmm.... shades of Indigo Roth on this one! Are there any badgers lurking about at that bar?

Barbara Blundell said...
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Barbara Blundell said...
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Barbara Blundell said...

Apologies for the belt and braces job !!

Barbara Blundell said...

Sorry ! have made a pigs ear of this ! The first comment said ' beware ! think she is softening you up into renting one of the upstairs bars for a feline orgy and sleep over '
the second comment said the same

Anonymous said...

Perfect, now that's a cat with a pedigree.

Sioux said...


"...a hysteria of sparrows." What a brilliant phrase (unless I'm giving you undue credit in this case--perhaps a group of sparrows is a "hysteria" much like a "gaggle of geese"?

I cannot wait to hear what happened at the bar.

Joanne said...

I love a bored cat who's really up to somethng.

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

Liza Bean - always up to something. Perhaps she's planning a trip to Ohio? To lounge on the top of the rag-top with my pussy-cats? ;)
Tell her to re-consider. That car is still in the shop. Oh wait - all my cars are still in the shop. haha. :)

Indigo Roth said...

Excuse me, Pearl...

*hisses* BoomBoom! You got it the wrong way round! Pearl was doing this long before me! *coughs*

Sorry. "She smiles. 'Mmm,' she says, in a tone of voice to which I cannot ascribe an emotion."

I love this, the very essence of cat.

Indigo x

Anonymous said...

That's the best way to go to a bar...."with a cat".

Laurel's Quill said...

Okay Sweetie..you have to get new friends...everyone knows that cats don't like hard liquor.

jenny_o said...

Beware a cat's invitation - they never give without wanting something bigger in return :)

Fragrant Liar said...

Psycho Suzi's? That's no place for a cat. Or A Lert.

bill lisleman said...

Nothing like a good cat bar except maybe your mode of transport to the bar. You don't drive a Jaguar by any chance do you?

Eva Gallant said...

Would love to meet you two at Psycho Suzies...If it were not so far away!

Symdaddy said...

Deja Vu!

This is the very article that I dreamt ('dreamed' for you Americans) that you would post!

Weird or what?

Gigi said...

My life is so boring. Now I'm thinking that I need to go to a bar with a cat...what's Liza Bean doing next weekend?

Jayne Martin said...

You had me at "an hysteria of sparrows." One of my very favorites of yours and there have been so many. How I'd love to toss back a few with you and Ms. Liza Bean some time.

HermanTurnip said...

Hey, if Liza is buying, put down for a Grasshopper! I'll spring for the tip.

Daisy said...

Where does a cat keep her money to treat you? I smell a plot and bet you end of with the bar tab.

River said...

How nice of Liza Bean to invite you out! although maybe she's just keeping you on side to ensure continued borrowings of the car....

Simply Suthern said...

A lady walks into a bar with a cat...........