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Saturday, June 16, 2012

Summer Looks Different...


Let us begin by acknowledging that winter in Minneapolis looks different than summer in Minneapolis.

I’m not referring to the discarded bits of tongue left on random elementary school swings; nor do I refer to the piles of slush that line the alleys following a plowing, only to develop into a car-punishing obstacle course upon freezing.

No. That’s not it.

I submit to you, instead, the yearly, seasonal re-introduction of exposed flesh.

A woman got on the bus this morning wearing what was clearly a swimsuit cover-up.

And nothing else.

It was 7:30.

The criss-cross cut of the back showed off her impressive rear view, the deeply cut arm holes exposed the lack of mammary support. The bottoms of her buttocks hung ever-so-slightly lower than the hem of the off-white garment; and judging from the look on the face of the woman across the aisle from where she sat, there may not have been underwear involved.

All that for the price of a bus pass! What next? Espresso machines? Soft cuddly puppies to hold en route?

You know, we don’t often get that look around the neighborhood – at least not during the morning commute.  Say what you will, but large quantities of exposed, dimpled flesh before work – particularly when it’s not your own! – will go a long way towards pepping you up some, first thing. Here I’d been thinking it was going to be just another day when I am reminded, in one fell swoop, that we’re out of milk, that something on the grill would be nice, and that I still have Kathy’s “Charlotte’s Web”.

Summer’s too short – in all kinds of ways.

46 comments:

R. Jacob said...

a shopping list just from a badly worn outfit?
How long would it take to walk to work?

R. Jacob said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sage said...

Gee, For many people, grace is found in clothes. Obviously she hasn't learned that lesson yet. Enjoy summer.

Daisy said...

Sitting here in "June-uary" - shivering just thinking about it!

Silliyak said...

Just goes to show (so to speak) that there are many ways to die from exposure.

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

Maybe she was headed for a shopping trip at WallyMart.

Joanne said...

discarded bits of tongue left on random elementary school swings--a little too graphic for me. I was OK with the under dressed commuter.

Chantel said...

Oh my, this is one time when I'm rather glad you don't take pictures to go with your posts.

The "something on the grill" part of your list was slightly disturbing, my dear.

(still chuckling at Silliyak)

Beach Bum said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Beach Bum said...

I’m not referring to the discarded bits of tongue left on random elementary school swings...




During South Carolina's "blizzard of 1972" a couple of kids decided to test the idea of tongues on a flag pole at the local school. Being that the appearance of two snowflakes sends this fine southern state into a panic on par with feared Muslim terrorists working at the local convenience store the schools had been closed for hours.

As expected, the kids stuck their tongues on the flagpole and found they could not easily remove them. This apparent confirmation of the urban legend sent the watchers scurrying home in a panic.

The kids with their tongues now attached to the pole stood together alone for several minutes until body heat apparently melted the bond.

Joyful Things said...

Lack of underpants! I would not want to sit on that bus seat after she has vacated. There is a reason we wear underwear - we all do laundry and we all know what goes on. yuck. Maybe someone brave could wedge an old newspaper under her a$$ the next time she rides......

fmcgmccllc said...

No, no no no no.

Dr Max Tunguska said...

Eeek, your commute is nearly as scary as mine. In the summer we get the great unwashed. Those people wearing suits or jeans and a t-shirt or anything at all but have no knowledge of where the soap is.

TexWisGirl said...

oh dear.

Pat said...

The first time I visited US in 1970 I stared goggle-eyed at the scantily dressed females in the Mall of all places.
Not teen-age beauties but overly, well-cushioned ladies of all ages.
No false modesty there.

Ms Sparrow said...

Can stretched-to-the-max tube tops on 300-pounders be far behind?

fishducky said...

"Summer’s too short – in all kinds of ways." A beautifully phrased summary of your post!

esbboston said...

At the moment there are 1,163 foLLowers of your blog. I am pretty sure from a statistical view point that some of them are naked when they read your blog, simply because they live that way when they are home alone.

Happy Summertime To You and Your Shocked EyebaLLs

jenny_o said...

"Summer's too short..."

Really? Really, now? When you're exposed to stuff like that, I'd think that winter couldn't come fast enough!

savannah said...

these are the moments when i don't miss using public transportation, sugar! i mean, i don't really want to see all the bits of the public they seem to feel the need to share with the rest of us. . . xoxoxox

NotesFromAbroad said...

"discarded bits of tongue" did me in. I will be back later when I have collected myself and finish reading ... hahahahahahahahaaaa

SherilinR said...

maybe she literally lost her shirt in some betting endeavor gone wrong. maybe all she was left for her walk/bus ride of shame home was that flimsy piece of dingy, inadequate fabric.

Susan in the Boonies said...

LOL!!! So many timely reminders, all for a pound (or a century or two of pounds) of flesh.

And when you start the day like that? You know the day is only going to get better from there on out!

bill lisleman said...

I think I understand the milk and grilling connections but "Charlotte's Web" is mystifying.

Gigi said...

I would imagine after a sight like that you can only feel even more confident about your outfit for the rest of the day.

Indigo Roth said...

Hey Pearl! "There may not have been underwear involved"?! Thanks for helping my diet along; food now is simply not an option. Even pizza. Man, you're good. Indigo x

Shelly said...

I fear it shall not be a zombie apocalypse, but an apocalyspe of the underdressed and unwashed. That's where the real danger lies~

Sioux's Page said...

I thought you already wrote about the "soft puppies" when you note the deep armholes and lack of support...

Jayne Martin said...

Don't ya just want to walk up to those people and say, "Really?"

middle child said...

Agreeing with Delores here. She was most certainly on her way to Walmart!

Lynn said...

Oh my - and you can never unsee that!

Raymond Alexander Kukkee said...

Pearl, good thing you're a 'lert'.
I recommend you ' a -'vert' your eyeballs in future to prevent them from bleeding at 7:30 in the a.m. commute, or wear Kryptonite mirrored sunglasses lest you also suffer permanent psychological damage...":)

klahanie said...

Summer? What's that? Heck on a bus here in the 'summer', you might well see somebody dressed in a triple-lined sleeping bag.
Indeed Pearl, summer is the warmer part of the British winter!
Have a good one and on the buses here you get a cuppa' tea served to you by friendly strangers...

Eva Gallant said...

All that naked flesh can be scary sometimes! Especially at 7:30 in the morning!

chlost said...

Those bus rides do give you some great blog fodder. But really, is it worth seeing all of "that" in order to have a post?

Tempo said...

I'm thinking it was 'casual Friday' at a workplace near you...

ThreeOldKeys said...

i bet that woman is the sweetest and most generous soul in MN. in fact, i bet she'd give you the shirt off her back.

Roly Clu said...

LOL Great post :)

River said...

This reminds me I need to go bra shopping. Might as well pick up some knickers while I'm at the store too.

Roses said...

It's times like these where I know I'm turning into my grandmother: cover it all up damnit!

Summer here hasn't got going, so I've not seen the usual shirtless men and scantily clad women...yet. I just don't want to see it. But it sounds like you saw even more.

And I agree...please no pictures.

Juli said...

I want to ride your buses. All we get here is the occasional guy in a trench coat who smells of Aqua Velva and spray cheese.

NellieVaughn said...

Ha! I am always covered up. Even when I go swimming, I wear a nun's habit.

Lin said...

It isn't just Minneapolis. Went to the beach today in Michigan and saw a manly woman in shorts and a white sports bra. Wouldn't be so bad except it was a tad too tight so it gave him/her back boobs. Yeah, it was lovely. Yeah, summer!

Amy said...

Sounds like it would be wise to travel with a purse-sized bottle of Lysol. I wouldn't want to be the next one to sit on that seat!

Diane said...

You know, there are also 'poles' on a bus. Several of them. Just FYI . . .

Pat Tillett said...

HURL!!
That would be a bit much to see that early in the morning. Or anytime for that matter. There was this slightly crazy lady where I used to work. One weekend I saw her walking on the street. She was wearing sneakers and a full length body stocking. AND NOTHING ELSE... She wanted to talk to me and I kept making excuses that I had to go!