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Thursday, June 14, 2012

But I Don’t Wanna Get Up, Mom!


Funny.  While I sometimes hear imaginary music embedded in the static of my white-noise machine, I never  hear birds...

Chip-chip!  Chip-chip!

It may be just short of 5:00 a.m., but there’s no foolin’ someone as quick on the draw as I am.  There is a cardinal perched mere yards from my head. 

Chip-chip!  Chip-chip!

Who do you gotta complain to around here in order to get a full night’s sleep?  I refuse to open my eyes.

Chip-chip!  Chip-chip!

I open my eyes.

No bout a doubt it.  It’s dawn out there.

Not that I hadn’t noticed that before my eyes were open.  Since the handyman came to check on the air conditioner the day before I moved in, the blinds in the alcove that serves as my bedroom have remained in the “up” position.  Not for lack of grunting, mind you.  I’ve grunted, I’ve manipulated, I’ve even sworn at them, but the blinds remain impervious to my pleas and remain steadfastly un-blindered.

One of only two windows in the place and it’s next to the head of my bed.  Facing east. 

Chip-chip!  Chip-chip!

And now the bird.

The world belongs to the early-risers, they say; and having long admired them, it seems I’m on my way to becoming one. 

Whether I like it or not.

43 comments:

Symdaddy said...

Many times, after a hard days work, a posse of irate Thrushes, Starlings and Magpies, along with a handful of Seagulls and Pigeons, have demonstrated in front of my house, banners unfurled and posters flapping!

Why?

To demand that I don't get up so early in the morning as it disturbs THEIR sleep!

savannah said...

*sigh* i hate blinds, sugar, for that very reason! if someone pulls them up too tight, you damn near have to take the blasted things down to loosen them! bless his heart, think he even had a clue about the PITA he was causing? xoxoxoxo

Susan in the Boonies said...

It's like it's a conspiracy, and we've got it going on down here in the Boonies as well:
what with the light, and the birds making a such racket...

WHO CAN GET ANY SLEEP AROUND HERE?

R. Jacob said...

from the book "how to lower blinds in one easy lesson", you can see a little metal cylinder net to the pull string. That locks it in place. It is moveable. Move it to the left and pull the pull string to the left, gently, the blinds should lower.

I do make house calls.
; - )

ray

sage said...

I remember one night in particular, sleeping under a tarp on the Appalachian trail somewhere in Virginia and a damn whip-o-will started making his call at 3 AM. If I could have gotten my hands on that bird, I'd been eating roasted whip-o-will with my oatmeal. Hang in there! Funny post.

Lynn said...

When I used to stay with my late mother at her assisted living apartment it was bright like that. An outside light shining through the blinds, etc. I tried one of those sleeping masks, but didn't like it that touched my eyelashes. :)

Shelly said...

We're a pretty sunshiney group, us early risers~

CarrieBoo said...

I think there are about 1,000,000 birds living in my willow tree. It sure sounds like it at some ungodly hour of morning.

Pearl said...

I envy the early risers, the ones who do it because they want to...

haphazardlife said...

My early bird this morning was a crow. I'd much prefer a cardinal.

TexWisGirl said...

this new place is definitely testing you. :)

terlee said...

Hope Ray's "How To..." works. If not, get a screwdriver, jam it in the lock space and wiggle it around. Either the blind will break, or it will unlock. Do it at 5:00am and the commotion should take care of the bird, too.

(There should be a special room in Hell for the guy who invented blinds.)

Unknown Mami said...

I've become an early riser and it never seems to feel natural. Good luck with the transition.

Roses said...

Wildlife noises don't disturb my sleep. I didn't understand why, until a couple of years ago I went back to Trinidad for a couple of months. There are two different choruses the night: frogs singing so loudly you can hear them making a long-distance call back to England and then the day: birds, including parrots which are not known for their subtlety.

Maybe you should get a CD of frog song to sing you to sleep? That way the cardinal won't bug you in the morning.

Douglas said...

Odd... I go to sleep hearing the sounds of various bugs banging into my window trying to get to my bedside lamp. Mere birds cannot wake me up in the morning.

As for those blinds; less power, more finesse.

esbboston said...

"The world belongs to the early-risers", perhaps that's why I feel so at home on the moon.

jenny_o said...

Poke at those blinds with a long stick. That fixes a lot of things. In fact you could save the stick to poke at the birds, too :)

If that tactic fails, could you drape a bedsheet or pashima over the blind hardware or curtain rod?

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

Before you go to bed put a few sunflower seeds on your windowsill (outside Pearl outside). I know treats will shut me up so maybe it will work on a cardinal. Or, you could just lay back and enjoy his little good morning song.

That gentleman's lady said...

When I was in boarding school, one year I lived in a room with six others. We'd be woken shortly after six thirty am by an extra large male rhesus macaque monkey that would sit on the window ledge above the head of my bed and grind his teeth in rage at us every single day.

Not one of my most favourite early risers.

fmcgmccllc said...

First thing I noticed when I got back to the new world was the birds in morning, don't wake me up though. Try some alcohol before bed.

Simply Suthern said...

I'm a 6:00 riser during the week and 7:00 on the weekends.

Just think, in 1 week the days will start getting shorter again so in about 3 months it will be dark still. You just gotta hang in there till then.

ThreeOldKeys said...

well it's a bird-noisy time of year, so hopefuly the tweety flitterers' twitterpated patter tapers.

wait til a woodpecker announces to the morning world that this is HIS territory, and raps incessantly on the edge of your window.

SF said...

Air conditioner?

Jono said...

Remember, it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird.

fishducky said...

I'm sending you an email with a poem on this subject.

Indigo Roth said...

And there's you with two perfectly good cats nearby! But blinds up?! You mean its LIGHT?! Good grief, I may burst into flames. Or sparkle lamely.

Eva Gallant said...

Now I feel guilty! I slept until 10:00 a.m. this morning! (I don't usually sleep later than 8, but the previous night I had less than 4 hours of sleep, so I had to catch up, I guess.) The beauty of being retired!

The Vegetable Assassin said...

I just bought some blackout curtains for my room since I was fed up being awoken at 3am last summer by the light and it's almost light again at that time now! Grrrr. They make a huge difference though. Don't do much for birds though, hmmmm.... :)

Gigi said...

Between the sun, the birds and the neighbor's security light that shines right in my eyes (after Hubby "fixes" the shade), it's a wonder I get any sleep at all.

NotesFromAbroad said...

I used to never get up early unless it was for a flight somewhere or to get a child up and out to school. I did get up when there was something Important happening. But I never liked it.
Now, for some strange reason, I wake up at 9:30 am every day .. I will try to keep this habit, as my husband ( the one that gets up at 7:30 every day) says that All the Good Stuff happens early :)
Personally, I think All the Good Stuff happens late at night ;-)

Joanne said...

The window I leave open faces north, and those little chip-chippers start too early for me from that direction, too.

Crystal Pistol said...

I'm notoriously grumpy in the morning. I'm not a fan of mornings.

Joyful Things said...

You need that fly back so it can show you how to work the blinds!

Ms Sparrow said...

Just be glad it't not a gobbling turkey--or a herd of shrieking blue jays!

vanilla said...

If that cardinal has its way, you will, indeed, become an early bird.
Welcome to the club!

HermanTurnip said...

I'm by no means a morning person. Or an evening person. I'm more of a "give me a grip of caffeine and I'll make it through brunch" kinda guy...

River said...

For nine months of our Australian year I love the early mornings, and yes, I do mean pre-dawn. If I don't have to get up for work, I'll lie in bed listening to the birds waking up, or I'll be reading in bed with a cup of coffee beside me, if it's summer I might be out on the front porch enjoying the cool before the sun gets up. From mid-June to about mid-September though, it's just a tad too frosty to feel comfortable out of bed before 8am.

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

When do birds sleep? Certainly not in the early morning when I am trying to get my forty winks. The tweets are nice, the chip-chips are not.

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

One of my favorite bird calls, the cardinal tweet.
Not at 5 a.m., though.

the walking man said...

Well at least you have a believable excuse that will last for the three week Minnesota summer when they catch you asleep at your desk. Though I suggest you take a fifth of hootch in and get the intern all tired and noddy so she is asleep at her desk too.

Jenn Jilks said...

I love rising at 5 am! I love my birds.
Love your posts!
Greetings from Cottage Country!

NellieVaughn said...

There's an owl outside of my bedroom window that has kept me from getting more than four hours of sleep for two years. It's trying to tell me something, but I don't speak it's language.

Pat Tillett said...

I guess the birds up your way have a speech impediment. The ones around for "chirp-chirp." Or maybe it's the other way around...