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Thursday, April 19, 2012

If We Could Just Talk for A Moment…


It’s probably uncouth to mention, but I’m missing some people.

It’s troubling, really.  Seventy people, 70 readers in one day. 

I worry about them. 

Where have they gone? 

Is it because I once suggested that monkeys could be trained to light the cigarettes of the quadriplegic?

Is it because I’ve admitted to telling a begging man, “Touch me again, and I’ll scream”?

Maybe it was my concern that the neighborhood kids, loitering in the alley, were up to no good and were, feasibly, organizing a Bachmann for President collective.

Perhaps it’s because I’ve written too much about Mary lately.  This, I can understand, as too little Mary is almost as painful as too much Mary.

I’ll say no more about that.

It’s funny, you know.  When I started writing, I told myself it was because I wanted to get better at it.  I felt I had things to say, and a different way of saying them.

Slowly, however, it became something else.  I stayed up late, visiting other blogs.  I developed friendships, real friendships, with people who e-mailed me, people that I e-mailed back.  I bought books from fellow authors, attended readings.

I even obtained two stalkers: one who spouted capitalized nonsense, the other who purported to “know” things about me.

Me!  What, of interest, could someone know about me?

But 70 readers. 

I’ve scanned the papers for clues.  “Blog Followers Disappear – May Have Discovered Life Beyond Keyboard”. 

And so I’ll break with how I normally operate, and ask a question:  Is this typical?

What do you think?

98 comments:

Symdaddy said...

First again!

Mary lied, and so does your clock. According to GMT you were one minute late!

Tardy, very tardy!

Now ... let's see what you wrote...

Pearl said...

Sym, ya weirdo. :-)

Symdaddy said...

I ain't got 'em!

I swear! No...no! Put those scissors away ... don't snip that ...

You bully! That was my lucky piece of knicker elastic!!!

Leenie said...

I'd blame it on your blogger software or the internet or google or the Mayans or sunspots or climate change. Coming from a long time Reader and Pearl fan there ain't nothing typical or normal about how you operate.

Vicus Scurra said...

I have your readers. You can have them back for £1.50 each.

Vicus Scurra said...

And you can have all of mine for nothing.

Pearl said...

Sym,now THAT made me smile!

Leenie, I have to admit that I have been all kinds of perplexed, confused, befuddled. I like the idea of blaming the Mayans, though...

Willoughby said...

It's kind of strange that they all dropped out of sight at the same time, but I wouldn't worry about it. Blogland is fickle.

Pearl said...

Vicus Scurra, :-) I do enjoy your comments, you rascal.

Symdaddy said...

Wait a cotton pickin' minute ...

"I even obtained two stalkers: one who spouted capitalized nonsense, the other who purported to “know” things about me."

Does that mean I'm off the stalker list? After buying a ladder to look through your windows?

Dammit!

Pearl said...

Willoughby, love that word. And yes, it is, isn't it?

Silliyak said...

As someone with less than about 6 visitors,sporadic posts, less talent at expressing myself and coming up with subjects to write about, I cannot speak on this topic, but clearly they ain't here! The cats are always to be considered suspects in anything unexplained.

Pearl said...

Sym, while you're up there, could I get you to take a swipe or two at the windows?

Camille said...

Good grief - that's a chunk of humanity gone missing. I'll keep my eyes open for them. And just for the record...I've got the monkey. I've retrained him to open bottles of bourbon.

Pearl said...

silliyak, the cats! I'd forgotten about the cats!!

Pearl said...

camille, :-) The monkey was always clumsy with that lighter anyway. And would you see if he's got my banana bread recipe?

Symdaddy said...

I used to be a stalker, then I became a reader ... now I'm the window cleaner?

C'mon!!!

Symdaddy said...

Hey,how this for stalking?

5 comment on just ONE post!

Hehehehehehehe!

Look behind you!

Shelly said...

I'm wondering if they've disappeared into the bowels of Blogger. I'm missing some, too.

Hannah Denski said...

hm, you can afford to lose 70... I've measly 6!? Now, could you go in minus?? : D

Laurel's Quill said...

I should have your troubles...I'd be lucky to have 70..period.

mary i said...

You will never loose me. Hmmm yes maybe the cats...

Pearl said...

It struck me after I wrote this that I should be happy to even HAVE 70 readers, period. Consider, though, that I've posted every single day since June of 2008. If being around like that doesn't get ya some readers, I don't know what will!

Shelly said...

70's a substantial number to drop off- unless they're riding one of those ice floes out there...

I was wondering, too, because the comments on mine have dropped off. I checked my armpits...no smell...so now I'm looking for an "interesting" button I can click to make my posts more interesting.

Perhaps I can take a picture of myself standing on my head playing the banjo...that might generate some comments...or not.

Pearl said...

Sym, you amuse me muchly.

Shelly, yeah, it's weird. And I would pop over repeatedly to see a picture of you playing banjo on your head...

Hannah, I know. I sound ridiculous, don't I? I just had to write about it today, though, it was on my mind. I personally think I should have THOUSANDS of readers, but I've never been accused of having an anemic ego...

Laurel, I've become aware, particularly after writing/posting, that the complaint may come across as "My limo driver chews gum while he drives!" but it's weird, when you get used to seeing a certain number of readers, to have that large a chunk fall off. Where did they go? What did I say?!

esbboston said...

I was thinking about leaving aLL day yesterday as weLL, so maybe it was a seismic event, planets misaligned, problems with vitamin B-12 uptake, stock market dip, the sudden potential shortage of Nylon-12 for the auto industry, just not sure.

Hah! Me leave? ...never... you be wonderfuLLy funny.

I know that blogger is totaLLy unreliable at teLLing and or displaying your eXact number of followers, depending on which place you see the number, but seventy does seem like a bit much.

I was thinking of leaving you something in my wiLL the neXt time I have it revised, anything in particular you would like? My pineapple plantation? My old cameras? My collection of Iain M Banks? (No siLLy, my book collection by Iain M Banks, not my secret stash of kidnapped people, total of 7 so far, named Iain M Banks who live in my basement -slave labor- besides, someone else is getting them.)

CarrieBoo said...

I think it's the weather, now we're into breeding season. They'll be back!

The other day I noticed that most of my readers (I didn't even know I had any) come from Russia. What does this mean!

BamaTrav said...

I think blogger is dying. Can I be your NEWEST stalker?

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

They aren't over here. Guaranteed. I tend to lose a few every once in a while. Not 70 all at once though. That's a bunch. Just hang in .. maybe blogger has the hiccups again and they'll all be back tomorrow.

Hannah Denski said...

It's a brilliant post... you inspire me to write one on 'how to follow me'instructions... perhaps that'll help my blog... :)

Ms Sparrow said...

Gadzooks! It doesn't seem possible that 70 followers disappeared at once! Something is afoot with Blogger. You shouldn't bedevil yourself too much--they will come home eventually.

Andrea SunnyDays said...

They could be living down by the river. It happens.

SherilinR said...

that's pretty dang strange! makes me wonder if something was written about you on another site that encouraged its readers to ditch you for some unimaginable reason. and apparently those lemmings just do what they're told.
or maybe it's a well organized practical joke or internet anti-pearl flashmob.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Swine flu. That's the theory I'm working with...

NYEMT said...

Too many reposts? Just throwing that out there. (I but jest - I know how hard it is to comeup with new material on a daily basis...one reason I've never blogged.) Your readers are easily distracted, apparently. Have you considered the possibility that they may all actually secretly BE cats? Or squirrels? Some other blog has attracted their attention for a moment, and they wandered off to- Ooooh...shiny! :)

bill lisleman said...

I wish I could say they are reading my blog instead. I believe FB and G+ have taken many readers off the blog road. Really you offer cats, bus rides, Mary, drum beats, bar scenes, I-pod lists, cold Northern views, and just funny stuff. It's blog theme park with free admission.
I'll give you a shout-out in my Friday post but you already more readers than me so I'm not sure it would help much.

Lucy said...

Seems to me you could drop a few hundred readers and still have a million left. Expect it's a blip. Even among the comments there are exclamation marks where there should be pictures representing people so the vanished may return. On the other hand - do you check who your followers are? If Blogger has had a purge of unpalatable people, that might account for it.

jenny_o said...

In my opinion you haven't written a thing to cause a mass exodus. I suspect Blogger - if it can eliminate whole chunks of comments (which I read happened on another blog), couldn't it make followers disappear too?

Technology, tsk - totally unreliable in my experience. (Although, consider the source - computers have been known to go wonky for no apparent reason when I am within a five foot range.)

terlee said...

Funny how we're sure it's our fault, something we've done, or said. I only had 8 followers to start with, and lost one the other day. I suddenly began wondering why, and reviewed my posts trying to understand. Then I came to my senses. Does it really matter?? I started my blog for myself; the fact I have any followers is cool.

And hey, Carrieboo? When I checked my stats the other day, I also had more hits from Russia than anywhere else. What does it mean? That's stranger to me than losing some fickle followers. (And try to say that three times, really fast!)

Joyful Things said...

I try to read your blog every day. But sometimes I have to go out. Are your 70 readers missing from the "stats" that blogger puts out? Sometimes I have 6 comments but their stats say I had 4 viewers. How does that work? Maybe their statistician was in the same remedial math class as I.

Gerry Snape said...

Ahhh...Pearl...what joy in your post! I love your take on the blogger world in this one!
I'm a bit of a paranoial person myself...is that really how you spell it?!! Well, teenagers beware and loitering gents take cover....the important other in my life smiles benignly and carries on!!

Sioux said...

Maybe they're weary of being just one of thousands. (You're a follower hog! ;)

Jono said...

I'm just so awestruck that you would care what I think! Half the time I don't even care what I think. That's because my thoughts often die of loneliness!
To answer your question (my opinion) is that life beyond the keyboard only exists for six months in Minnesota. Then it gets cold again. So why it is possible that they all went outside, it is likely a glitch.

Raymond Alexander Kukkee said...

Maybe it's because you insist on sharing their dessert? Do you scream for dessert in public places? If it's not that, it's because you're from Minnesota. That must be it. ":)

Lola Rouge ...the mom said...

No worries Pearlie, us bloggers serve a fickle audience. I love this stuff! I'll bring a few with me and before ya know real life will get boring and they will join the larger population of folk who live with the keyboard not beyond it.

fishducky said...

No way are you ever going to lose me, kiddo. I am far too fascinated with the life of Miss Liza Bean Bitey (of the Minneapolis Biteys)!!!

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

I am hurting for some validation and love too. Everyone is off being special. Mama said I was special and we all can't be special that would negate the point of being seperate but MORE equal.

Bachmann for President collective in your alley? I say pack a bag and light the house on fire to cover your escape. It's your only hope.

Craver Vii said...

That's a shocking drop, Pearl. Let's see what I can find out for you. (keypad clicking in background)

Speaking of uncouth, I chuckled at your saying, "Touch me again and I'll scream!" I think I heard a line like that on M.A.S.H., and it was interpreted as an invitation. Ewww...

Aah! Got it! (still clicking) Well, the good news is that you did not lose 70 readers... only 2. Here's what happened. One of them has a sickly computer and will return. The other lost his mind, and doesn't even know what day it is. The other 68 are lemmings... you don't want them. Problem solved. I'll bill you. ;-)

TS Hendrik said...

I spent about 4 months going back and forth between 298 followers and 301. Every time I crossed over, someone else unfollowed. Like some kind of cruel magic trick.

Drake said...

Cal sent me!
You now have a dragon following you!

Perpetua said...

My answer to every problem is "Blame Blogger." I think it's about to implode and missing followers are just the tip of the iceberg. Be afraid, be very afraid.....

laughingmom said...

I would blame blogger - they keep changing stuff around...UNLESS have you considered that perhaps Liza Bean has started her own blog and lured over those missing followers???

Gene Pool Diva said...

I'm cracking up, but I can't compete with the plethora of awesome comments. Your posts are great Pearl. Hey wait, maybe it was Dawn. Dawn says shes at EBWW, but she might have been bribed with buttercream icing.

Eva Gallant said...

Perhaps they contracted a blogger virus? Certainly it was nothing you did!

NotesFromAbroad said...

I barely even have 70 followers and not long ago, I noticed some left ... why ? why ? was it something I said or didn't say ? Am I really that boring ?
Pearl, I know it was nothing you said or the subject or anything like that ... it was Them... and Blogger. I almost quit blogging the other day , I would have stopped following Myself !
Love you, love your blog, C .. way down here at the bottom of the world.

The Elephant's Child said...

I know that our friends on WordPress are having trouble with blogger making their life difficult so I am suspecting thst rather than you losing people, blogger stole them. Sometimes blogger will not let them comment, and does not show new posts in their reader and ....

Dr. Kathy McCoy said...

I should think you would have gained 70 more followers with all those wonderful, quirky ideas, Pearl! I can't help but think it may be a Blogger glitch. That seems like a lot to lose overnight. I once lost 8 followers overnight and was totally mystified, examining my post at time (which seemed quite benign). Who knows? But please do know that you are very much appreciated by those of us still left!

Gigi said...

Without a doubt it's Blogger's fault. 70 people? Leave you? All at once? Never happen.

I say we all stage a protest and switch to WordPress on the same day. But then I'd need someone to work that out for me seeing as the thought of actually attempting that scares the hell out of me.

Daisy said...

Blogspot has been threatening me with "changes" for a while now. I think they are just muckin' about and lost some of your people. OTOH, Ms Lisa and Ms Dolly also might be involved. I think I saw them blogging over at wordpress.

Silliyak said...

I, for one, would NEVER suggest that our Blogger Overlords would be to blame for anything. They could be cat minions perhaps massing for an attack, or a blowout party. Check your credit card usage.

Lynn said...

I haven't left you! I pop in now and then and catch up on your stories. Love them! Carry on!

Pat said...

I have just been fretting because a regular hasn't appeared for a week. BUT he had visited elsewhere.
It's easy to get paranoid and imagine one has upset them. I recently had a couple who signed as followers and within two days they left.
What on earth did I say to rattle their cage?
I didn't really care about them but am happy my reular is back.
But life's too short to worry - I'll be faithful if you will:)

Saimi said...

Whew, you just made me feel good about my blog, I've recently lost one reader and was wondering the same thing, now I know I don't have too much to worry about....

Thanks Pearl! Besides it's all about quality not quantity right???

The Bug said...

I can't comment on your blog at work (I read the posts in reader, but if I try to open the blog my work filter screams, "sex!" or some such & won't let me). But that doesn't keep me from reading it :)

chlost said...

Well, I didn't see a comment all in caps, so maybe you have lost a stalker or two.
Otherwise, it is reassuring to me that you are still watching your stats and are concerned about it after all of these years. I feel weird that I look at them....kind of a Sally Field attitude..."Do you like me? Yes, you like me!"
I am at WP, so don't know about Blogger, but I am not a fan of technology these days. It has to be a tech issue.

Ricky Shambles said...

You are lovely.

And you made me take a gander at my own blogging. I'm sometimes erratic and have a broad range of topics, both things being potential negatives.

I've only got 81 followers, but regularly - according to my analytics - get over 100 visitors a day. On 11/4/11 I had 650. Have to look more closely at that one.

Anyway, I'll shut up and just blog about those numbers, but my thought is: general disenchantment and media toxicity. People are too busy to say two words to reply to a blog, let alone read one.

So remember: no worries. As I said, you're lovely. And I'm not even a stalker.

Al Penwasser said...

Look on the bright side. If you've lost readers because of comments like that, you've gained at least one reader (that would be me) because of them.
On second thought, that may NOT be a good thing from your point of view.

mrwriteon said...

Seems to me that you (deservedly) have a ton of readers. I mean, I (we're talkin about me here) get only a fraction of the responses I used to and frankly I sometimes get disheartened. Anyway, my dear, I love all that you write and even if I don't always leave comment I always visit.

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

It's blog flu. Didn't you get your shot?

Lynn said...

What are you complaining about - you lost 70 readers? I don't even have 70 readers! :-)

HermanTurnip said...

Hey, I'm sure they'll be back. They're just checking the oven to make sure that the souffle doesn't fall. You know how fickle those thing are...

W.C.Camp said...

Didn't I tell you NOT to post blog copy while traversing the Bermuda Triangle??? No worries - I think 70 comments to this post proves that!
W.C.C.

Hilary said...

Sounds like a glitch to me. Worry not.. I'm sure they'll return. Wagging their comments behind them. :)

Murr Brewster said...

How do you even know? Are they followers, is your average per post down, are they Guaranteed Unique Visitors, are they 100% bouncers, did they just drop in on your underwear and doggie sex toy posts and disappear after that? I think I'd be depressed too if I knew what my stats meant. I'm the kind of person that thinks a computer's memory is its recollection of what I've stuffed into it.

Tempo said...

Thats a lot to lose, probably enough for a whole country...Hmm, maybe one of these military run places where you've just been placed on the banned list for some horrible thing you've done.. Oh, wait a minute...

er..perhaps it was ME when I 'accidentally' placed you on Australia's Terrorist Watch List.. Oops!

River said...

70 all at once does seem like a lot. Perhaps they're gathering somewhere and coming to visit you in person? Better stock up on the chips and beer.

I'll admit to avoiding your blog when the capitalising shouter is taking over the comments, but you'll never lose me altogether.

Jadzia@Toddlerisms said...

I am guessing a feedburner stats problem, mostly because I am having the same issue!

Z said...

Darling I'm sorry, I've been one of them because I've been away and I'm only just starting to catch up on blogs. Only another 620 posts to read, but people will keep writing so I'm running to stand still, as it were.

Linda O'Connell said...

I think it is a Blogger auction or something. Everyday they trade me one of yours and elimnate one of mine. It is a conspiracy and they are messing withour minds.

jadedj said...

Whew...I'm exhausted from scrolling down to this leave-a-comment spot. I forget what I wanted to say.

Oh...missing 70 followers. But you have 79 comments (now 80). So if they were still here, does that mean I would have to scroll double hard?

Wait, I just looked at the avatars up there...mine isn't there. Does that mean I am not here? WTF?

vanilla said...

Don't look at me-- I don't have them. You may check if you wish.

darlin said...

Pearl, ya waaaay down here... it appears you still have a lot of loyal followers, I had to really stretch to find room to comment... now what was I going to say? See it took that long to scroll all the way down here that I forgot! lol Damn, I detest when I do this, it's like walking in to another room to get something, only to forget what I went to get. It'll come to me at about 2am and if I wake up I'll come back and say what I was going to, if I don't come back it's cause I went back to sleep and forgot all about it in the morning. I just LOVE being 40 something... see can't even remember my age!

Have a wonderful weekend, happy trails to finding where your 70 blogger followers went, I don't think that I'm collecting them, not even the 'interesting' ones. You're more than welcome to come and take a look around though. Cheers. :-)

L-Kat said...

Well, you're not going to lose me! I will be an official fan/reader/stalker until the day you stop writing. Or until I get bored. (I kid). If I lost 70 readers, I would have like -62 readers.

Tom G. said...

Followers? Who needs them when you have so many great commenters. We are your true disciples.

Pat Tillett said...

I'd blame it on the cat!
I think I'm missing hundreds of follower, perhaps thousands. Or do they actually have to sign up on my blog before they disappear?

Diane said...

Have you looked in the couch cushions? That's where I find everything . . . Oh, look! There's my hairbrush! And a quarter! And 70 Blog readers! Could happen . . .

Simply Suthern said...

I have folks that I follow, and while I am at work I see them on my list but when I get home they are not on my list.

Go figger.

Simply Suthern said...

Could be the Occupy Pearl Movement I read about.

Nezzy said...

Well doggies, Blogger done gone and went cannibal on ya and ate 'em up!!!

Hopefully it'll burp soon and put 'em all back for ya!!!

I have notice as the summers spring forth that many drop out but 70...all at once, nope...blogger ate 'em and that's my final answer!!!

God bless and have a fantastic weekend sweetie!!!

Austan said...

It's the new damn blogger widget; you can't go to your own subscription list, you have to go to someone else's bloglist. Why they've done this, who knows- the bastids!

Cheryl said...

82 comments and counting? I seldom get comments and I'm still writing. So glad I stumbled upon your blog. I sometimes don't get it, but I wouldn't leave ya for nuthin'.

Antares Cryptos said...

Maybe they misplaced themselves?

If that ever happens to me please let me know.

Other platforms can no longer follow Blogger, think it might have something to do with that.

That gentleman's lady said...

70 in one go is odd, but I almost wonder if it's google or blogger doing it. A few weeks ago, they noticed "suspicious activity" on mark's gmail (which hasn't been opened in months) and tried to close it. The only reason I noticed is because instead of "A gentleman in disguise", his name on the blog now read UNKNOWN.

I had to rescue his email account.

I suspect "suspicious activity" or well, lack of activity might have eaten some of your bloggers.

Susan in the Boonies said...

I ate them.

With a nice Chianti.

They were delicious.

~urp~

Need to purge, now.

NellieVaughn said...

Lucky! I've yet to have someone stalk me.
I lost one follower the same day she became my follower. I will never know what I did to scare her away. It's hard to blame the poor girl. I'd run, too. But as far as the people that stopped following you are concerned, I think they all passed away.

NellieVaughn said...

Lucky! I've yet to have someone stalk me.
I lost one follower the same day she became my follower. I will never know what I did to scare her away. It's hard to blame the poor girl. I'd run, too. But as far as the people that stopped following you are concerned, I think they all passed away.

Jenn Jilks said...

I know what you mean. WHo knows, I continue to blog for my daughter, with 2 kids, a busy job, so she can see what we are up to!
Greetings from Cottage Country!

Indigo Roth said...

Shit, if I lost seventy, I'd owe someone three. Or have to use one of those imaginary number things.

You're too damned good at this to worry about churn. There's 700 more out there, and like Pokemon, you'll catch 'em all.