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Friday, March 2, 2012

We'll Move Down South

We get up early, brush our faces and wash our teeth.  We persist in our wearing of pants in public. We cover our mouths when we yawn, we resist the urge to get involved in situations that do not require our input.

And now we’ve come to our reward.  Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the weekend, the dewy, precious days where the air is sweet and our time is our own. 

What shall we do with this time?  Will we sleep in?   Will we in the northern climes bother to repaint our toenails?  Will we ever make that eggplant rollatini we got all excited about a couple weeks ago? 

The answer to these and other questions lie within the mysterious confines of my iPod; for as I continue to insist, my iPod, set on “shuffle” and played during my morning’s commute, foretells the future.

Shhh.  Let’s listen.

Los Angeles by Frank Black
Barracuda by Heart
Howlin’ for You by The Black Keys
Lovesick by Lindstrom & Christabelle
Boots or Hearts by The Tragically Hip
Conventional Wisdom by Built to Spill

The weeken's prognosis? Frankly, I just don't know.  At this point, I've got over 50 hours of work in this week.  My imagination is shot, and I need a nap.  If you'd fill in the blanks here, I'd appreciate it. 


And to top it off, the escalators just inside The City Center weren’t running this morning.

I don’t need them, of course, having been walking on my own since the tender age of 11 months, but the sight of the non-escalating escalators gave me pause.

stop.

Hammer time
.

Since childhood, deserted streets have been my friends. Do I see zombies? I do not. I see freedom. This may shock you, but I’ve got a pretty sturdy little imagination on me and it absolutely loves scenarios like this…

I pause to survey the scene.

It is 6:45 a.m. and the end of the world that we've been hearing so much about has finally happened.

I am, of course, on time for work.

I move in my usual direction, like a cow leaving the milk barn and heading to pasture, in search of coffee. Eight years I’ve been doing this. Something’s not right, and it’s not just the non-escalating stairs.

It is then that I realize that there’s no line at the Starbucks.

Dizzy with pleasure, I walk in like I own the joint. “’Mornin’, Joe,” I say to the coffee dispenser. I help myself to a cup, jauntily throwing a quarter in the tip jar. “There ya go,” I mutter. “Although I’m still unclear as to why I tip you...”

Lawlessly, I cram my pockets full of Splenda packets.

I take a seat, prop my feet up on the table in front of me. I am making lazy plans to head out to a Winnebago dealership and drive one south when it occurs to me that the escalator has started up...

I shake my head, the daydream ruined, and my eyes focus on the moving stairs. In reality, I have not gotten my coffee yet. There is a man in a blue workman’s style uniform in front of me.

“Mornin’,” Pete says. You can tell it’s Pete because that’s what his shirt says.

“Got the steps moving again, I see,” I say.

He nods, almost bashfully. I smile at him to show him I mean no harm and proceed toward the Starbucks.

And I feel cheated when I see that there’s a line.

34 comments:

Shelly said...

Talk to Pete- get him to stop that escalator. The imagination needs time to be unfettered. Even cows run free every now and then.

Raymond Alexander Kukkee said...

Better drink more coffee, Pearl, that ought to help. Movin' on south will solve the parking on snow days problem too. See how helpful I am? ":)

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

Brush your face and wash your teeth, all cream and cleany now. Our local Starbucks (we only have one) is in a Chapters Bookstore. There is always a lineup but then you can take your coffee out to the bookstore, sit down and peruse a book you don't intend to buy. Makes the line up a little less painful.

Symdaddy said...

Indulge yourself in a little knismesis or gargalesis. You might not feel better afterwards, but at least you'll have had a chuckle.

And about the date that we had for the spanking you promised ... my wife would like a word with you! Where a hard hat and some body armour!

Leenie said...

The zombies that drag themselves to their 8 a.m. classes on campus would very much appreciate an escalator. But the stairs eliminate the weak. Survival of the fittest comes in many forms.

I hope this weekend you'll get a chance to sleep in and repaint your toenails. Or at least give them the freedom of no socks.

Amy said...

I've often thought Starbucks should heed my marketing advice and run water lines underground, by which they deliver their beautiful drugs to one's house for a monthly fee. I would give up water for coffee if that option was available.

Pearl said...

Shelly, mostly, this li'l cow could use a nap! :-)

Raymond, and if I move South after the end of the world, there will also be no one to make fun of me when I order a "pop"!

Delores, they really should add some books to the Starbucks here...

Sym, your wife and I are in agreement about this. Four-syllable words will get you a spanking. :-)

Leenie, that was very sweet. When I paint my toenails, I'll be thinking of you. ANOTHER THING: I received the artwork from you. I can't tell you how much I enjoy it. Seriously pleased with my purchase. Somehow, that crow really speaks to me, and so THANK YOU. (Shall also have to pop by and thank you on your site...)

Pearl said...

Amy, it is the very nectar of a productive morning. :-)

Simply Suthern said...

With cows drinking coffee does that make our milk caffinated? Is that why cows jump over the moon?

Leenie said...

Glad your pkg arrived okay. And it's a raven, not a crow. But that really only matters to the raven.

Pearl said...

Simply, the cow jumps because it must. :-) It is the way of poetry.

Leenie, :-) I shoulda knowed. Whatever he is, he's mine and I love him. He's been the most satisfactory purchase of the year.

Sausage Fingers said...

Come on down..but do not ask for a "pop" that will get ya term in the pokey

esbboston said...

50 hours of vvork Mon to Thu? VVovv, Do not be jealous, but I think I have slept tvvice that much in the same amount of time, I knovv, I knovv, you are already doin' the math, telling me its impossible, 4x24=96, but in some of my dreams I vvas also sleeping, so vvho knovvs, maybe I vvent over a hundred.

Leauxra said...

SOME day, the escalators will stop and the trains will stop running. I actually imagine that, now and again, when I get to work early and the lights are off.

Laurel's Quill said...

I've been South and trust me, the Starbucks are hard to find... So double bummer...living in a place with 1)no escalators (which translates into NO good shopping)and 2) no good coffee. Just slit my wrists right now. Laurel

jenny_o said...

Splenda packets! Hee hee! I love your sense of lawlessness!

Geo. said...

Delightful post. Get the feeling you've been reading T.S. Eliot.

Tom G. said...

Isn't it funny, how you suddenly get depressed that the world is not coming to an end?

It's like when the Doctor tells me that everything is fine after my physical. I immediately sigh, and realize that I now have to stop fantasizing that I have some sort of tragic terminal disease.

Well, for a few weeks anyway.

Susan Kane said...

Just the odor of coffee can awaken the nearly dying. Imagine what a taste of Starbucks could do??

Belle said...

I wish we could take off in a Winnebego to California and I could show you all the places I've been when I lived there. First stop: Disneyland.

esbboston said...

Belle: I am jealous! You have lived at Disneyland?!?!?

Jo-Anne's Rambling said...

Doesn't it suck when a pleasent daydream is shattered......

River said...

"..a cow leaving the milk barn and heading to pasture, in search of coffee."

That's funnier than brushing your faces and washing your teeth.

Al Penwasser said...

I'm not bothering to paint my toenails until at least May.

tattytiara said...

A world without escalators. Damn, woman. That's gonna haunt me.

Crystal Pistol said...

This cow too needs a nap... that's what your ooga booga ipod means to say. Naps are necessary to survive and thrive. It's the thriving I enjoy most on all.

Tempo said...

We all dream of the day we find life as we knew it finished, but I'd miss my luxuries like hot drinks and cooked meat... and that whole loin cloth thing? I dont think so!

Kavi said...

Thats one more point where we share interests !

Deserted streets !! Whoah !

sage said...

Coffee is good, but a down escalator stops your world... Have a good weekend and get rest and feel sorry for those of us who have to work.

NotesFromAbroad said...

" I move in my usual direction, like a cow leaving the milk barn and heading to pasture,... "

This says it all.
Everywhere I look I will see this .. if I hear one Mooo, I am calling you on the phone !!
Now I have to spend my day, being sure I do not walk the usual path, with the other groups of cows/people ..
love you.

Raymond Alexander Kukkee said...

Pearl! You actually know what "Pop" is? Woooot-wooooot! Maybe you're really Canadian. We have 'Pop' here, want some?

Now I KNOW you're special.... ":)

Far Side of Fifty said...

Hey Pearl, I think you might need two naps..the brush your face and wash your teeth part made me smile:)

Pat Tillett said...

You have outside escalators? That Winnebago sure sounds like a good idea.

Susan in the Boonies said...

Daydream Believer: is this post a subtle tribute to the death of Davy Jones?